Woe is me

[Boundary Problem]

Writing about the horror he has been through is just another excuse to stay down in the dark hole.

 

Well what I mean is writing a play, and performing it with audiences over and over and over- is taking the knife and twisting it.

[McGrupp]

yeah i also have 8g's saved up. im good at the writing i think. it makes me hapy i would love to write for a TV show.

 

but right now i want to get of this carousel and go see some life out there. i want to head to colorado as i have a buddy out there, but i also dont want to delay beginning a career as i know this time is crucial in some aspect to getting my life together.

[McGrupp]

Well what I mean is writing a play, and performing it with audiences over and over and over- is taking the knife and twisting it.

 

really? it wouldnt be a play so much as a comedy performance. a lot of hilarious stuff has happened to me during this ( a lot of it not dealing with her at all but the people aound me). think sarah marshall but a lil different. (and at the end of sarah marshall didnt he perform his weird play?)

[Boundary Problem]

Starting a new career when you are exhausted????

 

 

Actually - you know what this is -

 

This is a sabbatical (sp?).

 

You need a rest. and the writing is something to do while you rest.

 

I think a 6 month sabbatical is an excellent idea. 100% support it

 

IIIIFFFFFF

 

You already have a REAL job lined up to start in 6-8 months.

 

And not sitting in your current abode feeling miserable. Some new location with sunshine and fresh sights.

[McGrupp]

yeah good plan. i feel a lot of pressure to move out of my rents (lived with the ex b4 hand) but since im not looking for a relationship really might as well save up and ride this out well creating a plan for the spring to get my ass out of here.

 

i like it especially since im still up in the air with teaching/traveling/career/school/current job

[Boundary Problem]

What do you mean?

 

Keep your current job until the spring, - I don't understand.

[McGrupp]

yeah i thought that was what you meant...wait it out a lil.

[Boundary Problem]

1. I think you need a real rest (I worked 1/4 to 1/2 time for about 8 months while recovering from my ordeal). Depression is exhausting to overcome. It ate into my capital, but I didn't really have a choice, and it was the right decision.

 

2. What do you want to be doing job-wise in 2 yrs?

 

3. Then work backwards to today.

 

 

I think before you start planning the break/rest, you need to have a plan on the other side first - or else you lose credibility on your resume.

 

 

I work for myself, so bumping from 1/4 to 1/2 time (I'm about 1/2 time now) was easy - I just accept more work.

 

For you it needs more coordination, due to nature of employment.

 

What about some sort of liason position (less stress) while you work on writing? ie still in the field, but way different type of job.

 

 

I think it would be a mistake to add a career change right now when you are exhausted. ie going to LA or New YOrk to be discovered / express what you have been through - that is narcissism and would be another source of disappointment. Better to stay with what you know, and do writing part-time.

 

Better to slide yourself into something more manageable within that same profession - is my preference.

 

I don't want you sitting around at home. Wasting your life. Done enough of that.

 

Plus I want you to keep your pension, and hopefully keep adding to it.

[Ms. Joolie]

That's some good career advice, Boundary Problem... good points made.

 

I do have to differ on the production he'd like to write though. I guess because it's my dream to do something similar in the world of the arts. I don't think it's narcissistic. The way I see it is that he has this story to tell, and the passion and talent to tell it. We need more of that, we need more original productions like that.... more comedies, more dramas.

 

I would highly encourage him to put all this stress and energy of the relationship into a production. Recreate everything from his POV and add that comedic twist... I think it's great. I can already see the comedy in it all... lol.... (sorry, McG)

 

To recreate what happened into an original production would be very positive, a learning experience and extremely therapeutic, imo. Oh and quite profitable if he hits his mark.

[McGrupp]

finally got some anti-depressents last night. took them. felt ok then woke up knashing my teeth and freaking out. dry heaving and my suicidal thoughts were in the extreme fore front of my mind

 

would that be considered normal? would rather just be depressed then deal with that

[Ms. Joolie]

I don't like meds at all, would never take them. I'd argue how necessary it is for someone to take antidepressants.

 

Have you tried regularly exercising first?

Have you improved your diet/nutrition intake?

Have you had blood work done to check out where you're at right now and discussed that with your doctor?

Have you seen a nutritionist?

 

Our body is amazing, and we can't just give it drugs expecting it to react normally for us. We have to treat it well, we have to treat ourselves right. I can't stand meds. Did I say that already? lol

 

I went to the doctor twice recently and both times they offered me meds, some really crazy stuff. hah. My body healed on it's own, tyvm.

[McGrupp]

yeah i wont even get flu shots or take antibiotics unless 100% necessary.

 

i should just hit the gym hard, and do some volunteer work. also start eating better, as my diet is **** now (usually one meal a day of crap)

 

that was not fun last night. it was like i took some bad acid

 

and my jaw is still chattering away here at work

Edited December 1, 2009 by McGrupp

[HeavenOrHell]

Yep, some people have crap side effects from them, I'm told they wear off after a few weeks but I've never made it that far.

I was told the ones I was given can make you feel more suicidal for a month or so, so I thought sod that.

Sometimes it's a case of trying different ones until you find one which doesn't have bad side effects and actually helps makes you feel better. They can help get you through rough times in your life.

I took Prozac years ago, they helped me feel motivated and more enthusiastic when I was going through a rough patch.

 

 

finally got some anti-depressents last night. took them. felt ok then woke up knashing my teeth and freaking out. dry heaving and my suicidal thoughts were in the extreme fore front of my mind

 

would that be considered normal? would rather just be depressed then deal with that

[HeavenOrHell]

I hate taking drugs too, cos of the side effects.

 

With anti deps you can start on a small dose and gradually build the dose up, this helps reduce side effects.

 

Definitely hit the gym, start eating better (I need to do that too, been eating junk since we split), and definitely suss out some voluntary work. Don't know about there but we have voluntary job websites here with a list of jobs, so you can look for something you're interested in.

 

yeah i wont even get flu shots or take antibiotics unless 100% necessary.

 

i should just hit the gym hard, and do some volunteer work. also start eating better, as my diet is **** now (usually one meal a day of crap)

 

that was not fun last night. it was like i took some bad acid

 

and my jaw is still chattering away here at work

[McGrupp]

i was talking to to my cousins bf at thanksgiving. hes 32.

 

i was saying its going to be hard for me to find a girl like that again who "cooked, cleaned well, had a great job, was smoking hot" and he was like, "who gives a ****? how about a girl that loves you"

 

i liked that

[Boundary Problem]

I think that the core problem is exhaustion.

 

All the medications/drugs are attempts to forget about the exhaustion for a while.

 

 

 

I don't dispute your writing talent. Talent does not mean success - sorry to say.

 

 

Your frame of reference right now is really small.

 

 

You know what I think the solution is. You know what I think your goals should be. You know the path to get there.

 

 

The problem is I think you are too tired to start walking the path without some more help. I'm trying to figure out how to help.

[mickleb]

i was talking to to my cousins bf at thanksgiving. hes 32.

 

i was saying its going to be hard for me to find a girl like that again who "cooked, cleaned well, had a great job, was smoking hot" and he was like, "who gives a ****? how about a girl that loves you"

 

i liked that

 

Hey McGr

 

I like your cous.

 

Have you talked to the doc about the side effects? Are they listed on the info that comes with them? Those effects might be temporary or abnormal, you should check which.

 

I became a teacher after being in the Media industry.. funny. Have you done your homework, yet?

 

x

[GrayClouds]

finally got some anti-depressents last night. took them. felt ok then woke up knashing my teeth and freaking out. dry heaving and my suicidal thoughts were in the extreme fore front of my mind

 

would that be considered normal? would rather just be depressed then deal with that

 

 

No normal but wasn't that you six day ago? It could be the meds but much more likely it is just your life right. It is important that your eating well to minimize side affects.

 

Depending on which meds your on the first week side affects will be the most obvious and will subside. You will like start feeling some benefits in a couple of weeks will full effects is between 4-8 weeks.