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he facebook statuses always indicate he's having the time of his life

TapiocaDexterin

By TapiocaDexterin
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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TapiocaDexterin Member

TapiocaDexterin

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How can he be having so much fun?

My life is a bottomless pit of miserable on an average day, yet

he always seems to be out, hanging out with hot women and having a great time.

 

I feel physically ill now

New Again Established Member

New Again

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Maybe you should take a page out of his book...

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TapiocaDexterin Member

TapiocaDexterin

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i did delete him, i just cant stop searching for his page and snooping.

 

i think theres something wrong with me.

New Again Established Member

New Again

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So go out and do things. Then you won't have time to stalk him. And you'll have your own fun things to post online if you so choose.

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TapiocaDexterin Member

TapiocaDexterin

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what he hell is he doing with other women anyway, he belongs to me.

I was his first, he was a virgin at 25 until I came along.

fofiffs Established Member

fofiffs

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Stop looking at his page, its not good for you. You'll only hurt yourself.

Citizen Erased Established Member

Citizen Erased

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i did delete him, i just cant stop searching for his page and snooping.

 

i think theres something wrong with me.

 

Have you blocked him? That way his page won't show up...obviously you can remove it but it may help with a little self control.

 

Reading on here, what you're doing is fairly normal. But you are only making yourself feel worse by doing it.

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TapiocaDexterin Member

TapiocaDexterin

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no, i didnt block him, will try that.

 

i am having a 'loser' day, i hope thats normal too :)

DenverBachelor Established Member

DenverBachelor

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How can he be having so much fun?

My life is a bottomless pit of miserable on an average day, yet

he always seems to be out, hanging out with hot women and having a great time.

 

I feel physically ill now

 

Probably because he is deluding himself by going out all the time and trying to convince himself he's happy because that lava pit of despair, anxiety and loss is right underneath him and that party rope he's clinging to is starting to fray.

 

Never trust what people say when they're going through major life changes. They'll invent alternate realities and live in them until the deck of cards comes crashing down around them.

Pringles New Member

Pringles

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He could very well be trying to make you jealous and it seems like it is working. I dont know your story but it is best for your sanity to find something to do that you enjoy. Go hang out with your friends and family. Do things that make you happy. Dont do things that make you miserable and jealous that will just keep you in the pit you are now. Your next task it to try to climb out of the pit so do things that can help you achieve that goal.

Enema Established Member

Enema

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You expect him to deal with the breakup the same way you do?

 

Men and women aren't the same.

 

His actions don't mean it's any less painful for him, it's just a different coping mechanism.

DenverBachelor Established Member

DenverBachelor

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You expect him to deal with the breakup the same way you do?

 

Men and women aren't the same.

 

His actions don't mean it's any less painful for him, it's just a different coping mechanism.

 

I think your avatar is going a bit overboard with the pretty rainbows drawn by a 3'rd grader. I feel all happy now and that's not conductive to my healing.

dude12 Member

dude12

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He's most likely full of ****. My ex gf broke up with me toward the beginning of the year. Her facebook statuses always said that she was having such a good time. We've been in contact once in July and once in October, and it turns out she was more miserable than ever. If they were having such a good time, they wouldn't be wasting their time bragging on facebook. They would be out of the house and doing things. They want to put up a front that everything is ok when it is really not. Hang in there and block him for at least a month. After a while, you won't even want to know what is going on in his life. Get out and try new things.

imSushi New Member

imSushi

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How can he be having so much fun?

My life is a bottomless pit of miserable on an average day, yet

he always seems to be out, hanging out with hot women and having a great time.

 

I feel physically ill now

 

I was in the same spot as you last month. I have the password to my ex's Facebook, and when she dumped me I would go on it multiple times a day and look around. Seeing her talking with other guy's, reading her statuses, seeing her smile in her picture was just too much. It still hurt's, but I learned that it hurt's less not seeing what is going on in her profile, or life.

 

I blocked her on Facebook last month and have not witnessed anything about her since. And you have to believe it, it's extremely better like this. Before when I would go look, I felt both physically and mentally sick. Everything inside me was hurting, it was unbelievable. But now since I blocked her and don't see what goes on, I feel alot better. Yes it still hurts, but I can't express it enough how much better it is not to go stalk your ex. I am very tempted to go look at my ex's profile, but I know I will hurt extremely if I do. So I resist.

 

 

What you need to do is block him, and don't ever think about looking at his page. Focus your thoughts on something else. That is what I am doing, and it's helping.

countingstarsagain Member

countingstarsagain

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Trust me when I say this. If you stop looking at his page, and can go without doing it for several days, things will start to look up. I'm going through this right now. I, too, had my ex's passwords and would get on his page and see the messages he was sending to his new girlfriend. The emotional pain was too much to bear. Now it's been 10 days since I've spoken to him or looked at his profile. Everytime I wonder what he's doing, and think about getting on there, I consider how I would feel afterwards and back out. I know what it does to me everytime I get on there, and after 10 days of not looking, I truly feel like I'm starting to heal. I can now focus on myself. I know he's probably doing things that I wouldn't be happy about, but since I don't know exactly what he's doing all the time, I can get back to my own life. Take this advice & good luck!!

TheLoneSock Established Member

TheLoneSock

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I'll echo what others have said about some self control. It would do you a lot of good. Someone on this forum also advised another member of wearing a rubber band on your wrist, and snapping it against your skin to inflict pain everytime you do something obsessive compulsive to the effect of stalking your ex. I haven't tried that for anything, but I wouldn't doubt it works - give it a shot. The circumstances behind the breakup and what not matter little, and you taking his virginity means squat. You both feel it, it's just neither of you knows the other is feeling it, yet you both probably wonder about the other.

 

Now as for some relevance to your story from one of mine, I can say this. He is coping. I am sure that he feels the pain as well, maybe not in the same way as you, but it's still there. He may be making a lot of these things up to make himself feel better and you feel like ****, and he may actually be doing these things - which one it is does not concern you, because you aren't going to know about it either way anyway from now on, are you?

 

After a particularly bad break up in an instance where she dumped me, I was heartbroken - it didn't feel like she felt any pain at all. But being a sociable person and having the kind of character that needs to get out and busy in order to speed the healing along - I found myself going out a LOT. I would meet as many people as possible, girls for hookups, and guys for new friends. I slutted it up a bit, changed jobs, bought new things, shaved my head into a short mohawk (which the girls seemed to like), kicked my own ass in the gym, went to all kinds of social events, parties/clubs (though I'm not really a drinker)... you name it I probably did it. From the outside looking in on that it probably did seem like I was having the time of my life - and to an extent I was, it was helping me heal, but underneath all the fun and new girls, the pain was still there, and remained there for quite a while. Everyone needs time to heal, some people just spend their time in the meantime differently.

 

He's out trying to live it up, you're on loveshack beating yourself up. That's the difference.

 

Not saying you need to go out and slut it up and go clubbing, but it wouldn't hurt to go balls to the wall on your life right about now.

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typo
DenverBachelor Established Member

DenverBachelor

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I am very tempted to go look at my ex's profile, but I know I will hurt extremely if I do. So I resist.

 

I went on her facebook the first week or two after the breakup and saw that our photo album was still up. My first thought was, "when she gets to work tomorrow, this is gone." Sure enough, the next day it was gone. That's when I said screw facebook because her profile's only getting ramped up from here on out. Pictures of her out with the girls partying. I just said, "I'm done with Facebook for the time being."

 

I don't need to log into facebook and have my wall covered with her rebound's feces. I don't need to see pictures of her and the new guy smiling and having a grand ol' time. If I used facebook for business, I'd remove her. But I just don't want anything to do with that crap because 20 of her friends are my friends. So unless I remove them all, I'm still going to get crap I don't want to see or read on my wall.

 

What am I going to do, remove 21 people and block them? That looks childish and sends out a message of being weak. The far easier thing for me to do is to just not use facebook.

hoping2heal Established Member

hoping2heal

Posted
Posted
How can he be having so much fun?

My life is a bottomless pit of miserable on an average day, yet

he always seems to be out, hanging out with hot women and having a great time.

 

I feel physically ill now

 

Appearances can be so decieving. Also, It's my experience that people who really ARE out having the time of their lives? Aren't making note of it constantly in facebook. I am having a great time a lot, and it doesn't get a play by play in the status of my facebook. I'm just happy and enjoying my life it doesn't cross my mind to make a PSA about it! I think if your ex was having so much fun and so happy with things right now, he wouldn't seek validation via facebook aka bragbook.com.

 

If you lack the self control to stop looking, have the page blocked from your pc's browser. Feeling bad and continuing to hurt yourself day after day won't bring him back. It won't make it any less over, just because you re live the hurt in every method you can possibly find.

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