trippi1432 Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 As the holiday week finally comes to an end (as sad and hard as the week was), I find myself wanting to use this day for reflection. Events over the past week have totally knocked me off my center and I'm trying hard to crawl out of the hole that I dug for myself emotionally. I wouldn't call it a "set-back", more of a self realization of reality versus fantasy. I am long since over that feeling of my STBXH's presence in the house. I KNOW that if he came back it would not work, I know that reality is signing the papers to have him served - the fantasy is knowing that he's changing and wishing that were for me....fantasy that two people could actually bring out the best in each other instead of the worst...the fantasy that the above is even possible. Reality is taking responsibility for your own actions, responsibility for your own happiness or sadness, it's moving forward with your life without getting hurt or hurting others...and yes, it's not having all the answers (Thanks Tojaz - saw your post in my other thread ). This is what I try to work my way back to....the reality of my life and what I can do better in it for myself.
tojaz Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Trippi, nothing wrong with a little fantasy in your life, keeps you going. I look at it this way... Reality, I'm a sad 31 year old man, who was divorced after only 2 years of marriage. Fantasy, Theres someone out there thats going to love me more then she ever did, and just as I am. Even though it dosen't seem like it to me now, I still think that fantasy will someday become a reality, I just need to make it that far and stay true to myself. Learn from the hurt so I never have to repeat it. TOJAZ
Author trippi1432 Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 Trippi, nothing wrong with a little fantasy in your life, keeps you going. I look at it this way... Reality, I'm a sad 31 year old man, who was divorced after only 2 years of marriage. Fantasy, Theres someone out there thats going to love me more then she ever did, and just as I am. Even though it dosen't seem like it to me now, I still think that fantasy will someday become a reality, I just need to make it that far and stay true to myself. Learn from the hurt so I never have to repeat it. TOJAZ Reality is what it is right....for me, chaos....divorcing from another short term marriage....wondering if happiness is just a fantasy or if that can ever be a reality for someone like me. That's actually a good fantasy to have Tojaz, you are a good person with a good heart....you deserve nothing less.
tojaz Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Reality is what it is right....for me, chaos....divorcing from another short term marriage....wondering if happiness is just a fantasy or if that can ever be a reality for someone like me. Trippi, Happiness is where you find it! Being divorced, or in a short term marriage, or surrounded by chaos does not define you! Find happiness, what ever it is that makes you happy now, and latch on. Fight the small battles and find ways to be happy everyday. Not everything has to be about the big picture, some things have to be just for you! If you condemn yourself that happiness is unattainable, then it always wil be! Its like a collection. Find something small that makes you happy and make it yours (your singing for example) then find another thing, then another and so on, until you reach a point where you can pick and choose....not if your going to be happy today, but what your going to allow the privelege of making you happy today! Once you can be happy, the rest will sort itself out with time. TOJAZ
FeelingLonely98 Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I am long since over that feeling of my STBXH's presence in the house. You know somehow, three months after d-day, this holiday has made me think of this as my house. I am starting to forget the little things she did. How she would have done something. Should I do this or that - neither, just do it MY way! Every artifact of her is out of the house save for one pic of her in a drawer in the bedroom. the fantasy is knowing that he's changing and wishing that were for me....fantasy that two people could actually bring out the best in each other instead of the worst...the fantasy that the above is even possible. Reality is taking responsibility for your own actions, responsibility for your own happiness I too am realizing that yes, I can be happy without her. (though right now I'd rather be happy with her). And in the long run maybe I'll even be happier without her as time goes on and I absorb what she really did to me. Today is Monday trippi - back to work, reality kicks in, it bites, huh? PEACE!
Author trippi1432 Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 Today is Monday trippi - back to work, reality kicks in, it bites, huh? PEACE! NO!! Monday's are the worst....haven't had many good Monday's.
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