I can't stop thinking about him!

[buttercup1234]

I’m in dire need of advice. I’ve been together with my guy for about 5 years now, and we’ve been living together for the past 4 years. However, things haven’t been too rosy the past 6 months – we’ve had a couple of heated arguments, and things were said which I just cannot forget. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I’ve fallen out of love with him. The worst part is that I am not at all (physically) attracted to him anymore

 

Anyway, I only realized how bad this issue was when I met his friend (let’s call him X) back in October. Initially, I wanted to set X up with one of my girlfriends – on a personal level, X & I hit it off immediately – we were able to laugh a lot with each other, and I found him to be insanely attractive. As X is single at the moment, he was open to my matchmaking ideas. To make a long story short, we met up as a group, he wasn’t interested in my girlfriend but spent nearly the entire evening talking to me. I could feel a definited spark. However, as soon as my boyfriend showed up, he jumped out of his seat and basically ignored me for the rest of the night

 

His attitude towards me has also changed a bit – he’s become more formal, less laid back. The last time I saw him was at his birthday party a few days ago. I was already there (w/my bf) but talking to someone else. I felt his eyes on me, but as soon as I looked, he looked away quickly. He’s done that before – look at me when he didn’t think I’d notice. Anyway, when I went up to say hi and happy birthday, he was nervous and said quickly “thanks, I just saw your bf over there” – why the constant boyfriend references? I just don’t understand that! I know my bf was there but all I was doing was wishing him all the best for his b-day!? His family was also there and I spent a great deal of time talking to them because we just got along really well – and then he told me afterward that his mom & sister-in-law really like me but he told her that I’m ”so-and-so’s girlfriend”.

 

Anyway, I guess I didn’t know what I was doing because I told them that I really, really like X and that I was having problems with my bf at the moment. His SIL told him that but he said to forget it, he would never, ever touch one of his friend’s girlfriends. Yes, I know – he’s really straight when it comes to that – but what am I supposed to do? I can’t forget him and it’s driving me crazy!!! I don’t want to feel like this but I just cannot help myself

[Malenfant]

if you're really not happy with your BF regardless of 'X' then you need to look at your relationship and decide whats best to do. make a go of it or not.

 

now, 'X' likes you, but as he has stated he would not touch a friends girl.

Now, that may even be true of you were to split with your BF. as some friends have a rule about not dating their friends exes.

 

'x' gets nervous when your BF is around because he feels that it will be obvious that you both like each other if your BF sees you talking, he thinks your BF will see the chemistry, so he stays away from you, not wanting to upset his friend he does the only sensible thing to do, he keeps his distance, and reminds you that your BF is there, because you're making him uncomfortable and he'd rather you didnt speak to him. he may also think that you make it more obvious than he does that you're both into each other and he finds that embarassing,

 

this is honourable behavior, the 'x' guy clearly has morals.

 

the chances are that this guy may never want to be involved even if you become single because of loyalty to his friend.

 

first thing you need to do is take a good long look at your current relationship and decide what you want to do regardless of 'X', because as i've said above, he may be completely out of reach for you anyway.

[seibert253]

If you're not attracted to your BF and don't love him, set him free. Simple as that. It's not fair to him, and you, to stay in this relationship.

 

Then move on and see what happens.