Wello Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Here's my story everyone i have been dating for two years this guy. We changed each others lives completely. Both of us (I think) became a better person. Anyways, I never expected what happened next, about a week ago he told me that he feels cold towards me and he ain't happy in this realtionship. Although two weeks before was our anniversary and we agreed on tons of things to do in the upcoming year and he promised me millions of times that he would never leave and that he is happy with me. he also told me that i was pushing him too hard to be better and that i want hm to be an ideal person that he can't be. I admit that this is a problem i have that i am too direct when I give an adivce, so I think in the process I made him unhappy. We agreed on having a break for 10 days starting last thursday to clear our thoughts, then we will get back to the relationship if he doesn't feel anything towards me in a month or so we will break up. I think that he just feels pressure and that this is normal, because sometimes ppl feel cold towards their loved ones espcially n long relationships, but they never mix it up with not loving them, or so i believed. I know I may sound really naive, but i don't have alot of experience in relationships (this is my first serious relationship) i really don't know what to do, if there's another girl or if it is just that he's really upset and can't take this habit of mine of being pushy. I admit am wrong but I really don't know what to do and it is easy understanding all this when it really hurts so much =(
Ronni_W Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Wello, I'm sorry that you're hurting. As you say, it is more painful when we realize that a lot of our pain is of our own making -- I can totally empathize with that feeling. I guess if you had to push him so hard to be "better"...well, that means you didn't think he was very "good" to begin with, right? And it's understandable that he got tired of hearing that message from you. OTOH, if you have a habit of acting overly demanding, and having unrealistic and unreasonable expectations for some idealized, "perfect" partner...well, those are highly unattractive traits, and you certainly can push yourself to do MUCH better, yes? In any case, that's what I'd suggest if (BIG if) you do get a second chance with him: just focus on improving your own shortcomings, flaws and failures, and allow him to self-determine what, when and how he wants to change/improve about his. Hugs, and best of luck.
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