XKatieX Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 It's been 4-5 weeks since the break-up. Ok, so my ex lost his 35 year old brother to MS in July. He was very close with his brother and has been going through a rough time because of it. Thanksgiving was the first holiday he spent without his brother. I knew he would be feeling very sad so I wrote an email just saying Happy Thanksgiving, I know it was a hard day for him and I hope he was doing well. Of course as I expected, he never replied. But is this an acceptable situation? I felt like if I didn't acknowledge the day I would have felt like an ass, but at the same time I feel like I'm showing myself to be the weak one by writing to him. Also, I know Christmas will be extremely hard for him because he and his brother both loved the holiday and shared many memories. But I don't know if I will write to him, because too much time will have gone by. What do you guys think?
DenverBachelor Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Also, I know Christmas will be extremely hard for him because he and his brother both loved the holiday and shared many memories. But I don't know if I will write to him, because too much time will have gone by. What do you guys think? Sounds like you're a cut above the pack and a good person with a huge heart. If it made you feel better, then you did the write thing. Everyone will offer an opinion but at the end of the day, how did your decision make you feel? If it made you feel better, it was a good decision. If it made you feel worse, it was not. You have a big heart and you're a GOOD person so you'll have a lot of great opportunities opening to you in the future. Just keep your sights looking forward.
billy356 Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 I would agree with Denver but since the ex didnt reply to the Thanksgiving wish I would advise skipping the XMAS wishes. While your intentions were completely admirable and it is more than I could do with my ex, you don't know what actual effect that contact had on him without a reply. So in absence of a reply or a mutual friend saying that it had a positive effect I think it is safe in assuming it didnt have the intended impact and thus further holiday wishes might not be what he wants emotionally. Instead during XMAS, take a little time out. Look into the sky and the stars and with all your heart send him your truest best wishes. Let the cosmos send your message. You will feel better and hopefully he will feel better. Ya it's a little hokey but I believe it and you seem to have a spirit strong enough to make it work. Best of luck Katie, it sounds like you are on a good path.
Trinitron Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 XKatieX, if you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I broke NC because it was the right thing to do", and not because you were somehow fishing for hope, then yes you did the right thing. Unfortunately the fact that he didn't reply might very well have caused more anxiety than otherwise would have been there in the first place. Trinitron
Author XKatieX Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 XKatieX, if you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I broke NC because it was the right thing to do", and not because you were somehow fishing for hope, then yes you did the right thing. Unfortunately the fact that he didn't reply might very well have caused more anxiety than otherwise would have been there in the first place. Trinitron Thank you everyone for the replies. I knew he wasn't going to reply in the first place, so it didn't really surprise me or make me feel any worse than I felt. I merely did it because I felt it was the right thing to do, and because I felt sympathetic for him.
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