ShatteredMe Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 I confessed to a girl in the same course in University. We knew each other for a month, and I confessed around June. She didn't give me an answer right away and she needs time, and asked me to confess again around October. During these months, we spent time doing projects as we're in the same group, and discuss studies. Sometimes we go out for movie with some friends. We sms everyday, and every weekend we'll chat on the phone for 2-3 hours. She even said that she looked forward to chat and meet me in the University, and that she liked me. She agreed to be my prom date, and had her parents fetch me so I could accompany her to the ballroom. Everything seemed to be going fine, but suddenly one day she told me that she needs more time, and we should remain as friends first. I didn't receive the news nicely, and I was behaving a bit emotional as in I cried and such...But after that I apologized and she told me that I'll have to start from zero again. However, she starts avoiding me since, and we no longer chat on the phone, and even sms is kept to minimum. I changed, but she didn't give me the chance to prove it. And these goes on for weeks, suddenly one day she told me that we have different perspective and we're not suitable to be lovers. She asked me to pursue my dreams to transfer to Australia campus, and that there's plenty of girls out there, and we can only be friends. I tried so hard, I asked, just not to decide to reject me completely, ask her to give me more time. I admit sometimes I'm a bit emotional (I meant sad and sensitive)...but...I've changed. I'm willing to do anything to protect her, to make her laugh. Its been a hard time for me. I wish I could get her back, I meant, make her slowly starts to reconsider her decision again. I don't mind taking months and year. Its been almost a week since I didn't contact her. Few days later our exam results are going to be released, and another few more weeks later its her birthday and Christmas. Its holiday now, so should I sms her a wish and how should I form the sms? Then next year should I ask her to be in a same project group as me?
Ronni_W Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Hi SM. Sorry but I'm not really seeing any signs to hold out hope in this situation. She told you that she does not see herself in a relationship with you. It's not about you "changing" -- she didn't ask for that -- it's just that you're not her type, for whatever reason. She does not have romantic feelings for you. Which doesn't mean that you're not a great guy, just that she has different preferences. You can't even "get her back" because you never "had her" in the first place. When feelings are not reciprocated, in my experience it is just easier in the long-run to go total 'no contact': no birthday or holiday wishes, no requests to be study partners, nothing. To me, your best course of action may be to start looking for a new object for your affections. This girl is not interested in you in that way and, since your friendship has become imbalanced (as far as mutual feelings go), it just needs to be let go. I know that sucks. Hugs.
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