Taucher Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 I know the 7 stages, which involve anger, acceptance and denial, among others. But for me, these are the three stages that a dumpee go through. 1. I WANT THEM BACK. 2. I DONT WANT THEM BACK, BUT I WISH THEY NEVER LEFT ME. 3. I DONT WANT THEM BACK, I DONT CARE THAT THEY LEFT ME. I am at stage 2. I cant imagine for one minute that if we got back together that it would ever work. It would be too weird. The pressure would be too great. But at the same time, I love her and I wish she had never left me. That's the only way I could accept us being together right now. 3 months ago, I would have accepted her back no questions asked. Now, I dont see it like that. Stage 3 I have never been at. I am just guessing that it is the next stage. This is just my little theory, probably not that great I am just trying to understand, y'know? Take care. T
motive2002 Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 ALCOHOL ALCOHOL ALCOHOL It's easier this way. I don't really have to remember what stage I'm on.
hopesndreams Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Stage 2 here but have had a taste of Stage 3, it's very sweet.
mickleb Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 With this being your third thread in about an hour (or summat, can't do the math, head fuzzy in a good way), at this hour in the morning, Tauch, I reckon you need some good, old fahioned, attention. How was your evening? x
Author Taucher Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 Hello mickleb. Well noticed. Feeling strangely delicate. Been to pub and had more than my fair share of attention, bless all my friends. Me being dumped was the topic of conversation in a way it hasn't been for a few months, bless them again. Feeling sad but in a "I am sad, isnt life so beautiful" way rather than a "I feel sad, isnt life sh*t" way. So could be worse. Thanks for asking, how are you? T
Author Taucher Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 ALCOHOL ALCOHOL ALCOHOL It's easier this way. I don't really have to remember what stage I'm on. True, but this helps with making you be in stage 3 for a bit? Stage 2 here but have had a taste of Stage 3, it's very sweet. This is great. I guess you will be at stage 3 more often as time goes by? Its gradual I guess. Thanks for taking my silly post seriously. Take care. T
JaggedRoad Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Go to Tesco and get yourself some ice cream!
mickleb Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Go to Tesco and get yourself some ice cream! What a wonderful suggestion. There's a 24 hour right round my corner, too! Um, Tauch. That is very good. Was the convo weird enough to keep you up til this time of night, or is this your usual LS hour? x
Author Taucher Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 What a wonderful suggestion. There's a 24 hour right round my corner, too! Um, Tauch. That is very good. Was the convo weird enough to keep you up til this time of night, or is this your usual LS hour? x It is a great idea! Mine is a Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough please. I would go myself but at this time and in sarf london I am worried that I might be killed or something. Which would take the edge of it a bit. This is my usual Saturday night hour, going to bed is for losers? I eat going to bed for breakfast etc. I am on my laptop looking out my window at Canary Wharf twinkling in the distance. Sigh. T
mickleb Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 I NEVER got killed in sarf lardarn, innit? Ever, like. Is it? No. Never. Although I did get spat on whilst I worked in Blackheath, once. Blackers! Whodaadamnevedit? Kidbrook Estate, innit? I like macademia nuts. Going to bed is for this loser, I'm afraid. Otherwise I'll never get to Tesco's in real-life, tomorrow. And I've got to or my chick-pea curry will never get made. And then I will starve. Alone in a studio in B town. The decaying and partial remains of a teacher, found two weeks later, eaten by her dog. Will you let me off? Tell me what exciting things happened in New Cross, or wherever you can see, tomorrow, as I don't like to miss out. (I BET someone will get mugged for their Deptford Fried Pigeon, if you're lucky!) Night The Tauch. x
Author Taucher Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 Innit tho blud, you get me? I have been mugged AND beaten up (seperate incidents) in sarf L, both in Deptford actually. Kidbrooke Estate yeah? Not my endz. You got spat on in Blackheath?! Nothing bad happens in proper Blackheath apart from people running out of Couscous. I went to Pizza Express in Blackers last night. Pleasent. Bed for me too, what a loser. Night mickleb and everyone. Taucher. P.s. I prefer cashew nuts.
USMCHokie Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 This is interesting...I'm not sure I could say I'd ever leave Step 1...with the way things ended, I'd always leave that door open...but that's not to say that I'd wait forever for it...or even wait at all...but she'll always have a piece of me... I think it's still possible to move on while still in Step 1...
nobmagnet Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 im stage 2. for sure I am. I know he would never change and I couldnt trust him again. I am busy making plans and trying not to dwell on him................much hahahahah
HeavenOrHell Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 I'm at stage one, but whereas in the first 6 weeks I would have taken him back easily, since then I wish we could try again but I would be hesitant and not rush into it, it scares me, I now don't know if it could work after all this but I wish we could at least try. I would not want to live with him now though, now that I am becoming used to living alone, even though I don't like it at all, I am becoming more self reliant. I NEVER ever want to be in this position again, no-one is going to leave me like this again.
rickigal Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 I'm in stage 3 and it is because I broke NC or else I'd still be in Stage 2. I am actually glad I talked to him. He answered the questions in my head like: "Does he still think about me?" - Yes for sex "Does he want me back?" - No "Does he want his ex-wife back?" - Yes "Is he a douchbag?" - Yes "Do I deserve better?" - Yes "Was I living in an altered state of reality?" - Yes I know a lot of people here recommend NC but talking to him one last time helped me move on. I don't care anymore that he is gone. I don't have doubts/questions/yearning left in my head. I am grateful that this happened.
novack Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 I like your theory... WAY PAST stage one...but i guess i'm still at 2, wishing that things had been different and what not.. I have tasted stage three, it comes in waves, some times you hit stage one , 2 then three... the cycle repeats itself but with less time between the steps.. I felt amazing 2 weeks ago, **** last week, okay this week, maybe i'll be amazing this week! hahaha We are so screwed in the head, its kinda funny guess why its called heart break.. you do break and slowly get put back together
soheartbroken Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Sadly, stage 1, after almost 5 months. And I think I would always take her back...unless I happen across someone better, which I highly doubt.
Northwesthunny Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 i like your theory! Im at stage 2 - and i cannot wait to get to stage 3 to get him out of my head and out of my life completely
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