What do you do?

[jaydumped]

Ive almost done my longest speil of no contact, it will be 1 month soon. Sometimes i find myself thinking of the good memories but i try to force them out for the moment, here are my things i do to.

1) i listen to rap or punk music, there is never usually anything about heartbreak

2) I read my list of 10 things that sucked about her when i get up eg. she never want to make a phsycial effort i.e lazy,

3) Just got 3 jobs and work them, they are where i see an abundance of women. this gives me the opportunity to fall in love with strangers all the time:) Soon ill be studying too ontop to keep myself that extra bit busy

4) I drive...anywhere, put on my music and drive till my tank is soon empty

 

So what do you guys do? Some cheap and simple suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I am human and go through alot of rough patches like when i see a girl that might walk into the cafe or bar i work at that reminds me of my ex, or i see a really affectionate couple and wish that was me, but now i look forward to and try and get excited over the most tiniest of things or outings but soon hopefully i will one day go through one day without her on my mind.

Edited November 28, 2009 by jaydumped

[Tizzy]

When I feel fuzzy feelings about my ex creeping into my mind I simply remind myself of why we're exes in the first place and what wasn't working in the relationship and how I refuse to deal with that again and that usually does the trick.

[jaydumped]

hey tizz, you must be pretty well into your healing process (how many months no contact)?, i cant seem to trick my mind into thinking differently, besides my list. I have to keep busy, i also at times feel i want to get away, move far far away or even to another country. I have only just been able to start flirting with girls when i go out which is a step in the right direction, but its hard to see all the boys and girls hooking up and just there thinking that used to be me...i havnt touched the booze in at least 2 months now

[Tizzy]

Months? lol Try DAYS. My ex and I just broke up--for the second time--on Thanksgiving, two days ago. But I have the "benefit" of having already had one breakup with this guy (back in the spring) so somehow, the pain/fallout isn't as bad this time around, not that it was excrutiating the first go round.

 

You live and learn. I don't know how old you are jay, but you eventually get to a point in your life where you reflect upon past experiences, realize what you aren't going to put up with anymore from people, and you kind of develop a f-u attitude so that if/when stuff does hit the fan with a person, you are able to walk away from it relatively clearheaded but still hurt, but able to move forward and not dwell on it more than necessary.

[XKatieX]

Hey I know what you're going through right now. In this situation though, I really think she will come around if you give her NC for a while.

 

Btw Tizz, what happened with you and your ex? Just curious to hear peoples situations.

[Tizzy]

Way more to the story, but in a nutshell: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t211425/

 

a search might also pull up some history from earlier in the yr

[jaydumped]

thanks katiex, i was hoping that maybe next time i see her - she would be with some other guy or pregnant or something that to me will hit me like its finally over and gone.

Oh tizzy im 26 my ex was 21, she seemed quite young and eventually i did tell her when we broke up to go out and enjoy her life and get back to being young and carefree again. We wanted kids, marriage to live together in simplicity like all people do when your crazy in love, but we broke up 4 times, i eventually asked her back the last time and my heart wasnt in it but i just wanted to know and she gave me a harsh but realisitic answer...

It is like you say much easier if you break up multiples of times with the one person as you loose so much in your eyes there shine is tarnished...

This was my first real love and i seems even daunting to think that you may cross paths oneday and that it will be very awkward but its sad..as my original thread i need alot of things to take my mind off her. My job today didnt pay me after 3 weeks so i walked out, no money for petrol or food and the guy was an ass when i asked him for money, but in this case this bad situation just takes the attention away from missing her and that is a good thing at the moment

[billy356]

For me it is easy, I just think of how she abandoned me and the business we started together without any intent of helping out with all of the mutual bills. 5 years and she just packed up in 3 days and took off cross country. Think of that and hate is a good substitute emotion.

 

But I still inexplicably have hard moments regardless. There is no magic cure. We have to go through the pain in order to move on. It's not fair or just or even logical. it just is.

 

So whatever you find that works, do it, but expect that the bad moments will come and that they will be bad. But they will not last forever and when they are done you can continue living your life and loving your life.

 

best wishes