leap83 Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Ok. I have been so positive lately and then yesterday came - everything just crashed and burned. So I need to vent somewhere. I told my mother yesterday that maybe she can say that I don't live in our house anymore and that maybe I should be homeless for 2-3 weeks. Why? Because I don't appreciate happiness. I don't at all. I have everything I want (well, not everything but most of it). But I still feel out of whack. My friends all have bfs or gfs - they're too preoccupied with that. They're great people and very supportive and all, but man ALL of my friends have bfs and gfs. It makes me feel like a loser. I have this trip planned out for next year. Basically I'm going around the world in a year and it is an amazing opportunity. I should be jumping for joy - yet I feel like I'm going to miss my home, friends, family... Like what the heck is wrong with me?! Oh yea and my goal of going to med school is still there except I have been out of whack lately and just gave in minimal amount of work. Meaning I have been terribly, utterly lazy. I have never felt like this in my entire life. Oh and get this - my ex of 4 yrs added me on Fb (I added him too because I frankly don't give a **** anymore) and he's constantly contacting me. I can't even go on chat -yea yea yea unfriend him. I'm really close to doing just that. Then he asks to meet up for a cup of coffee and I'm like "Sure. W.e." Well, that never happened (not like I expected it to). So what is the point of telling me this?! I don't ****ing know. And in my life I have given people second chances TONS of time. I have given them multiple chances. I have never been the one to say this is it, **** off. But when I look at my life - I was NEVER EVER given a second chance. EVER. Makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time. It's like "Give others a second chance because they will plead and cry and throw a fit... But when it comes to you, don't expect one." Am I that weak?! I mean, am I that easy to manipulate/get the second chance out of? If I am, then **** my life. Honestly. I'm also tired of people who go around complaining about how something needs to be changed in our society and all they do IS ****ing talk. They don't put that talk into action. In all honesty, if I hear one more person complaining about something THEY can do to fix (society wise), I'll probably end up swearing at them. So much for action people. Ugh. I just needed to get this off my chest. I'm not feeling well as you can tell. I feel like going to a bar alone and drinking - pathetic eh? Wtf is wrong with me?!
RobM Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 There is nothing wrong with you, we all have our moments where we feel like this, it will pass and you'll get on with your life.
Broseph Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Well if you come to Australia Ill meet ya for a beer, My advice is go on that trip... but sometimes the trouble with leaving is you get really good friends everywhere and then you miss people randomly spread around the world. But what do I know I am just a Canadian who has spent the last 4 and half years in aussieland
GrayClouds Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Ok. I have been so positive lately and then yesterday came - everything just crashed and burned. So I need to vent somewhere. Nice rant! We went form homeless to trips around the world to evil facebook to med school laziness to 2nd chances to complaining people (you got to enjoy a bit of the irony there) to drinking alone. That is up there with some of my best! Leap, you have gone through a lot and do not forget that. One of your strongest traits is your self-assurance, and unblinking confidence. I suspect recent events has introduce you to something that for the most part you really never experience before, doubt... the ex boyfriend, the break-up, has he change, have you changed, should you igve it a second chance, why should you give it a second chance, have you made the right choices in life and so on, Doubt is not a bad thing it actually can be quite helpful, but it is unsettling. Through doubt it encourages a depth of probing, greater understand and even more commitment. But in the mean time you have lost your North Star, so your disoriented. It is causing you to question yourself, your choices, and your future, While it easier to go through life unquestioning, your not guaranteed to get the right answers that way. Enjoy the questioning, enjoy the doubt, enjoy the rants (I know I do) becouse their all leading you to your next big leap forward.
Author leap83 Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 Thank you guys. I really appreciate your support and encouragement when there is lack of that in my life right now. I'm a complete and utter mess right now. I have cried for the past 20 minutes because I don't feel like going to my volunteering. Yeah. It's pretty bad. RobM - I surely hope so. I've been feeling in limbo for the past month and this week has been the worst. I just need it to pass now because my exams are coming up and ugh.... If I fail, bye bye med school. Broseph: Oh my goodness! You're in Australia? How is it there? I'll be there next year some time. I don't know exactly when though. I'm looking forward to meeting new people. I'm tired of the same old thing. Are you staying there and not coming back to Canada? GrayClouds: Your post made me crack up. Thank you. You see how messed up my thoughts are? Is doubt really the right thing? I don't like doubting. I don't even know whether I'm on the right track. Like I know that medical school is what I want. I know I want to be a doctor - a neurosurgeon to be specific. But hell... right now I feel like I'm out of it. Yesterday a nurse was talking with me about putting a shunt into someone's brain and showing me some pictures and what not - stuff that would have excited me before - I felt the excitement but it wasn't as high. You know what I mean? I feel so confused. My life is all over the place. I'm not committing to anything in particular. I'm doing favours for people I don't want to do favours for. People are setting up really high goals for me and it's driving me insane because I can't achieve them. BAH! And yes, all of my friends have bfs and gfs to support them and they're getting married. I feel lonely. I feel really lonely right now (even though my ex is supporting me in w.e. I want to do with my life - great!) I don't know.
Broseph Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Hey leap, Im 31 now and when I came here I left after my breakup with lets say ex #1 whom I dated for 4 years and was engaged too. Travelling here made me get over it pretty fast, but that was really the reason I left although it helped. Like you I just wanted to change things up, sometimes becoming single gives us room to maneuver and try things that just werent possible before. It is awesome here, I have the best beach a stone throw away, oh and it hot. Beautiful country and lots to do. I have been home twice for a couple months each time and to ease your mind with you leaving your friends and family, I have been back twice and feels like nothing has changed. I have the best friends back home and now that I have been away for awhile and still maintain contact I know they will be ther for me forever. My parents came out this year which was awesome to show them around my hood. Oh but I still love Canada so much and couldnt imagine stayign away forever. Well anyways have a date tommorow and its late here so better hit the bed so I dont look like a zombie, dont drink too much
Author leap83 Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 You know Broseph, sometimes I wish I could do that - just get away. Right now I feel like doing just that - either going away to the cottage or some other country or something - somewhere where no one will find me and I can just sit in peace until my stress levels, confusion and pain are down to below 0. Good for you! I don't think I'll be drinking because a) I get drunk very easily; b) I don't drink when things like this happen because I believe it's counterproductive; c) I believe in drinking only when celebrating and there's nothing to celebrate except an utter failure of myself... Wow... I don't think this is the rock bottom just yet, but I'm heading for it. I still wonder why the heck am I feeling this way?! Like nothing bad happened.... Yet I feel like someone died. Weird... Odd... Can't snap out of it. :S
soheartbroken Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Wow. Thank you for posting Leap. Makes me feel not so alone. I'm also so confused, questioning everything in my life - but at the same time still coping with the breakup (sounds like things have settled down for you in that department). My breakup happened this summer, and I didn't go back to Law school in the fall. Needed the time away because I couldn't concentrate, but also because I'm not sure if law is for me. I could do so much with the grades that I have, I have so many doors open, but I'm so lost. My burden is actually having too many choices, as bad as that sounds, and I'm terrified of underachieving. I also want to go far away somewhere, just to be on my own, and let this all pass. I have no doubt that these searches for meaning and intense doubting is in large part a reaction to the split. I was just cruising along and then BAM! Life has no meaning and I have no idea what to do. Sounds like Med school for you is really something that you wanted to do though, and I think RobM and GrayClouds are right in that this will pass. Your thoughts are totally normal. Sometimes I think you just need to plunge ahead anyway, and it sounds like you're doing that by trying to focus on your exams. Also, good choice not to drink during a time like this.
Author leap83 Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 Hey soheartbroken! I'm glad you've replied to my post. I have read one of yours yesterday night but didn't have time to give you some encouragement - I've been meaning to do it tonight though. You're not alone. I feel your pain. You know, your post - it sounds like we have a lot in common. Just like you, I could do anything with my grades as well. I'm scared of underachieving as well. I've had problems concentrating when my break up happened - also over the summer. But I learned how to keep myself pre-occupied not to think about it. I still think about it though and I swear.... every time I do, my heart is breaking a bit more. Like you, I have too many choices too. I have been bugged by that lately because if I was good at one thing, and had no choice, life would be so much easier. Now I have so many doors open and I'm indecisive. Before, I knew what I wanted and I would go and get it. Now, I don't know anymore what is good for me. Why do you think law is not for you? You thought law was for you before and I'm assuming (knowing the whole process of admission) that you were studying to get into law school (?) You worked so hard. I know it might seem impossible to concentrate now but do you love law? I'm such a downer now. I would love to lift your spirits up somehow. Just right now, I'm just all over. Ugh... Wow. Thank you for posting Leap. Makes me feel not so alone. I'm also so confused, questioning everything in my life - but at the same time still coping with the breakup (sounds like things have settled down for you in that department). My breakup happened this summer, and I didn't go back to Law school in the fall. Needed the time away because I couldn't concentrate, but also because I'm not sure if law is for me. I could do so much with the grades that I have, I have so many doors open, but I'm so lost. My burden is actually having too many choices, as bad as that sounds, and I'm terrified of underachieving. I also want to go far away somewhere, just to be on my own, and let this all pass. I have no doubt that these searches for meaning and intense doubting is in large part a reaction to the split. I was just cruising along and then BAM! Life has no meaning and I have no idea what to do. Sounds like Med school for you is really something that you wanted to do though, and I think RobM and GrayClouds are right in that this will pass. Your thoughts are totally normal. Sometimes I think you just need to plunge ahead anyway, and it sounds like you're doing that by trying to focus on your exams. Also, good choice not to drink during a time like this.
GrayClouds Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 T GrayClouds: Your post made me crack up. Thank you. You see how messed up my thoughts are? Is doubt really the right thing? I don't like doubting. I don't even know whether I'm on the right track. Like I know that medical school is what I want. I know I want to be a doctor - a neurosurgeon to be specific. But hell... right now I feel like I'm out of it. Yesterday a nurse was talking with me about putting a shunt into someone's brain and showing me some pictures and what not - stuff that would have excited me before - I felt the excitement but it wasn't as high. You know what I mean? I feel so confused. My life is all over the place. I'm not committing to anything in particular. I'm doing favours for people I don't want to do favours for. People are setting up really high goals for me and it's driving me insane because I can't achieve them. BAH! And yes, all of my friends have bfs and gfs to support them and they're getting married. I feel lonely. I feel really lonely right now (even though my ex is supporting me in w.e. I want to do with my life - great!) I don't know. But that is why doubt can be your friend. You dont like it, its not your style but sometimes you have to learn to wear now styles. That called growth and there is great rewards in it. You may be a long lace gowan type of gal but every once and while you have to try on that little black dress to see if it works. And when you first put it on you feel a bit exposed. First you obsess about the particulars: those not quite perfect legs, the exposed back that could use a bit more tan, those arms that could be a little more cut, the cleavage that could be...hell the cleavage looks damn good, anyway you get my point. Then you start to look at the whole picture. Before you know it your thinking I look pretty hot. Doubt is your mental little black dress. It is making you feel exposed, your not use to showing those parts of you; like why your doing thing that do not make you happy, are you striving for your goal or others, should the EX be an EX, are you giving to much of yourself away, anyway you get my point. You question things that you never really questioned before. This is all good because part of you understands now is a great time to adjust your course if you want. You also get to learn how to walk out of the house feeling a bit exposed, which is something everyone has to learn becouse otherwise you never be able to take some REAL risks in your life. To paraphrase another saying "Confidence is not doing without doubt, confidence is doing despite doubt." It is time for you to learn real confidence. What your feeling now is growing pains, but the upside is your only going to look better in that little black dress when your done.
Author leap83 Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 GrayClouds: Good analogy. It's funny how you know how some women feel in the little black dress. I don't think anyone likes to feel exposed. I mean, right now, I feel so vulnerable or open for anyone to hurt me. It's like I'm wearing my heart on the sleeve and I'm not doing anything to protect it. The hurt I've been feeling for the past couple of months has been different. You'd think that I'd learn from my past and then another hurt comes - completely different than the one I battled. I have so many questions that need answers. The thing is I have always felt confident (up to the point where I seemed arrogant but then I stopped talking about myself) and now, it's gone. It's not there anymore. I'm successful but I fear the worst and usually, the worst comes true because I fear it. Hopefully I come out of it the way you say I would - with my head and heart intact. Right now, I feel like my head is off to one side, my heart is beating to another beat, and I'm walking through crowds of people completely pale and no different. I started to notice sadness, depression, anger and tiredness on people's faces ever since I've been in this stage. It's like I want to tell them "I know how you feel because I feel like that." I've never noticed this THAT much. I fear I'm going to have to do one thing I've been trying to avoid these months. I'm trying not to think about it but it's there... the option is there... I just need to pull a plug. But do I pull a plug?! So many opportunities and I don't want either one of them.... Maybe I should be homeless for a while with no opportunities. Maybe that'll teach me a lesson.
GrayClouds Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 GrayClouds: Good analogy. It's funny how you know how some women feel in the little black dress. I don't think anyone likes to feel exposed. I mean, right now, I feel so vulnerable or open for anyone to hurt me. It's like I'm wearing my heart on the sleeve and I'm not doing anything to protect it. The hurt I've been feeling for the past couple of months has been different. You'd think that I'd learn from my past and then another hurt comes - completely different than the one I battled. I have so many questions that need answers. The thing is I have always felt confident (up to the point where I seemed arrogant but then I stopped talking about myself) and now, it's gone. It's not there anymore. I'm successful but I fear the worst and usually, the worst comes true because I fear it. Hopefully I come out of it the way you say I would - with my head and heart intact. Right now, I feel like my head is off to one side, my heart is beating to another beat, and I'm walking through crowds of people completely pale and no different. I started to notice sadness, depression, anger and tiredness on people's faces ever since I've been in this stage. It's like I want to tell them "I know how you feel because I feel like that." I've never noticed this THAT much. I fear I'm going to have to do one thing I've been trying to avoid these months. I'm trying not to think about it but it's there... the option is there... I just need to pull a plug. But do I pull a plug?! So many opportunities and I don't want either one of them.... Maybe I should be homeless for a while with no opportunities. Maybe that'll teach me a lesson. You felt confidence because you knew what was right, because you never did question if it was wrong. One reason is that fear you speak of you were not ready to face it. It was always there, and deep down inside you knew that one day you would have to when you are strong enough to do so. That day has come because you are now strong enough to deal with it. That does not make it easy by no means. Be assured it would be here now if you were not ready for it. And in those moment when you feel overwhelmed remind yourself of that fact; you are going through this now for instinctively you know your ready to. You do not need to be homeless to learn a lesson. You are already learning them now. Your learning modesty; you do not have all the answers. Your learn empathy for others, not just simpathy but the ablity to really understand others pain. Your learning about a deeper intimacy, the ablity to express you doubt and fears. Your early posts you seem like a intelligent women who was charging through life with blinders on only seeing the world in black and white. I can see that has changed. What your feeling now is not a disconnection, but the first real coupling of your head and your head. It feels strange, unsettling and overwhelming, but that does not mean it is a bad thing. It is transforming you into a intelligent woman with emotional depth who walks through life, eyes wide open seeing world with all of it's colors. It makes a more complicated but much richer life. Congratulations, many people do not have the courage to live there. You will make all of the hard decisions you have to, and they will be right for you, for you have both your head and heart now to help you.
Author leap83 Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 Your early posts you seem like a intelligent women who was charging through life with blinders on only seeing the world in black and white. I can see that has changed. What your feeling now is not a disconnection, but the first real coupling of your head and your head. It feels strange, unsettling and overwhelming, but that does not mean it is a bad thing. It is transforming you into a intelligent woman with emotional depth who walks through life, eyes wide open seeing world with all of it's colors. It makes a more complicated but much richer life. Congratulations, many people do not have the courage to live there. Thank you. You're right. I did see it black and white. Colour drove me insane - quite literally. Now I'm seeing every side to everything I do. Isn't it weird? Let's say you pick up an object and you see all aspects of it - the little buttons, the rich colour red (it's not red anymore - it is cherry red now or something between the dark red and a very pale one - my favourite colour), little circles on it, little holes... I notice things I did notice before. Today, as I was taking the subway, I watched a little baby sleep and I have never ever observed a baby like that - it was so peaceful, barely moving its eyes; it felt so innocent; calm - sometimes I'd like to go back to when I was able to feel that. I mean, seeing the world in black and white was a way to protect myself. I've lived through enough in my life and I'm probably going to live through much more so to protect myself from the pain, I just saw "yes" or "no" and nothing in between. Because, let's face it, everything in between makes you indecisive. Everything in between makes you go crazy. I was reading this book the other day and it said that (spiritually) things you have to face, all of the pain and different types of pain, things that happen in your life along the road to becoming someone whom you want to be, happen for a reason; they happen to make you stronger; they happen when it is their time to happen so we would learn how to cope with them or maneuver through them. Life is a maze. Now I feel like a rat going through it and not knowing where the end is. Quite literally. So, you're right. I guess I am ready for this now. It just doesn't seem that way. And it is making me a tiny bit tired and jaded.
GrayClouds Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Everything in between makes you go crazy. Don't put down crazy. Crazy is where real love stays. Crazy is where faith lives. Crazy is where art is born. Crazy is where truth rules. Crazy is where real beauties sleeps. These and many more like them makes life important. They are not based on the rational but something greater, transcendental. Believing in these things are not logical but barking up the tree, padded room crazy and life would not be worth living without them. So, you're right. I guess I am ready for this now. It just doesn't seem that way. And it is making me a tiny bit tired and jaded. Tired is ok. Jaded is not. Right now it may not feel like it, but what you have been given is a gift not a burden.
Author leap83 Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 Don't put down crazy. Crazy is where real love stays. Crazy is where faith lives. Crazy is where art is born. Crazy is where truth rules. Crazy is where real beauties sleeps. These and many more like them makes life important. They are not based on the rational but something greater, transcendental. Believing in these things are not logical but barking up the tree, padded room crazy and life would not be worth living without them. Tired is ok. Jaded is not. Right now it may not feel like it, but what you have been given is a gift not a burden. You're right. Crazy is where I want to spend most of the time. Maybe I do spend most of the time being in the crazy state. But when people tell you that you need to be more rational, it makes you wonder whether they're right. I have mentioned to a couple of people now that my dream is to travel the world and that I plan to do it next year. Most of them just looked at me and went "Why would you want to do that?" Well, because I'm crazy like that. Because I like change. Because I want to see the world before I settle down. Because I want to learn about the world before I determine my life path. Because maybe I want to live in Italy and grow grapes and not in Canada. Maybe I want to live in nature in South Africa. Maybe I want to experience everything there is to be experienced before I make a decision to tie myself down. There are only 2 people supportive of this decision who are pushing me to do this - others are not so much. It is a gift. Right now though it's heavy. Right now it feels like I'm drowning and can't get out for a breath of fresh air. You only live once. Wouldn't you want to be the best that you could be? Wouldn't you want to accomplish something that no one has ever done? Wouldn't you want to be different in general? What is wrong with being different? What is wrong with being kind? I mean, I was a total bitch towards my ex of 4 yrs when we started dating. That didn't work. Then I was, well, I was quite nice towards the most recent ex - I fixed those things that were off before and that wasn't good enough either or it didn't work. I mean, balance is everything but how much more balanced can I get?! Yes, I do a lot of things. Yes, I'm knowledgeable about a lot of things but that's because my family is like that and my upbringing was like that. It seems to me that intelligence is my nemesis. No wonder people say that ignorance is a bliss. Well, you know what I mean.
RobM Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 If you can travel the world, by all means do it. My son spent a year traveling all around the world performing with sesame street and he loved. If you were my kid I would tell you to do it, experience all that you can. It's so much easier now than once you've started to settle down and plant roots.
GrayClouds Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Because maybe I want to live in Italy and grow grapes and not in Canada. Your from Canada????????????????????????????????????????????????????? You didn't tell me your from Canada! Your from Canada?????????????????? Then forget everything I said!
RobM Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 You just have to post your reply in canadian. You're from Canada, eh?
Author leap83 Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 Your from Canada????????????????????????????????????????????????????? You didn't tell me your from Canada! Your from Canada?????????????????? Then forget everything I said! LMAO Yes. I am. Oh, I would never forget everything you said... lol
Author leap83 Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 If you can travel the world, by all means do it. My son spent a year traveling all around the world performing with sesame street and he loved. If you were my kid I would tell you to do it, experience all that you can. It's so much easier now than once you've started to settle down and plant roots. You're right. That's why I'm doing it. That's why I'm going on this trip. I know that once I get married (if I ever do) and have children then I won't be able to travel so freely and do crazy stuff like bungi jumping or rafting... or skydividing... But eventually I could show it to my kids - hopefully they don't think their mother is crazy... haha
mickleb Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Leap. You remind me of this: Cute, eh? You are brimming with vim, vigour and wit. Full of joy and desire to KNOW just what this KRAZEE world is all about. You get so enthusiastic about what you have seen/learned/are interested in that you almost trip over yourself to share it with others. That's just as charming as hell for us but, occasionally, you do fall and get a sore knee. Don't worry, Leap, your knee is healing as well as your heart. You'll be fine. Just SLOOOOOW down a little and relax about getting everything ticked off your wish list. All good things come to those who wait and you will get all you desire. Enjoy the journey. x
Odyssey Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 You gotta do something crazy at least once in your life. Take the risk. You won't regret it because if anything, you'll learn something about yourself. Plus it's awesome and fun! Enjoy your freedom.
soheartbroken Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Hey soheartbroken! I'm glad you've replied to my post. I have read one of yours yesterday night but didn't have time to give you some encouragement - I've been meaning to do it tonight though. You're not alone. I feel your pain. You know, your post - it sounds like we have a lot in common. Just like you, I could do anything with my grades as well. I'm scared of underachieving as well. I've had problems concentrating when my break up happened - also over the summer. But I learned how to keep myself pre-occupied not to think about it. I still think about it though and I swear.... every time I do, my heart is breaking a bit more. Like you, I have too many choices too. I have been bugged by that lately because if I was good at one thing, and had no choice, life would be so much easier. Now I have so many doors open and I'm indecisive. Before, I knew what I wanted and I would go and get it. Now, I don't know anymore what is good for me. Why do you think law is not for you? You thought law was for you before and I'm assuming (knowing the whole process of admission) that you were studying to get into law school (?) You worked so hard. I know it might seem impossible to concentrate now but do you love law? I'm such a downer now. I would love to lift your spirits up somehow. Just right now, I'm just all over. Ugh... Hi Leap. Thanks for acknowledging my post. I totally hear you. If I was good at one thing, or I was to take over the family business or something, I wouldn't have to go through this crisis. I just have this awful fear that whatever I choose won't turn out, and that I will be a chronic underachiever. This is something that was always on the back of my mind though, and the breakup is just bringing it to the forefront and making me freak out. I have this sense of dread that she will accomplish so much and be happy that she left my sorry ass. Law itself was okay (but just okay though), but it was the law school culture that I didn't like. So much drinking and partying, sexism...some professors weren't that great. Plus the work-life balance sucks, depending on what you do. I was thinking of just getting the degree and then worrying about what to do with it...but then I'll just be back in the same place 2 years from now! Even if I could concentrate enough to go back (and I might be close to that point), it is an extremely stressful environment, and I don't think I can handle the two stressors at once (the breakup and the school). Plus all it would take is the slightest setback and I could fail an exam or something! For instance, found out my ex updated her Facebook profile pic and went into a huge backslide. Have since deactivated Facebook. Sounds like you love medicine though, way more than I love law school. I hope you come back and read this! I wanted to post last night but it was too late.
Author leap83 Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 Leap. You remind me of this: Cute, eh? You are brimming with vim, vigour and wit. Full of joy and desire to KNOW just what this KRAZEE world is all about. You get so enthusiastic about what you have seen/learned/are interested in that you almost trip over yourself to share it with others. That's just as charming as hell for us but, occasionally, you do fall and get a sore knee. Don't worry, Leap, your knee is healing as well as your heart. You'll be fine. Just SLOOOOOW down a little and relax about getting everything ticked off your wish list. All good things come to those who wait and you will get all you desire. Enjoy the journey. x Yes. That's me. All bouncy. People can't keep up with me or my thoughts which makes is more exciting. You see, you say I slow down but today I talked with my mom and I told her that I feel like I'm 30 and that my life is ending - I want cram everything NOW and get it NOW. I'm so impatient - it's driving me insane. It's like I'm in the rush to do things before I die which my psyche thinks is in 10 yrs. That's how I feel right now. I'm not patient. I can't slow down. I haven't learned how to do it. It's like driving a car at a very high speed and continuously crashing into the same wall.
Author leap83 Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 You gotta do something crazy at least once in your life. Take the risk. You won't regret it because if anything, you'll learn something about yourself. Plus it's awesome and fun! Enjoy your freedom. I'm indecisive. Another problem of mine. But am a risk taker at heart. So, maybe it's time to make a decision and put my foot down. You're right. Thanks.
Recommended Posts