Broseph Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Havent posted in coping for awhile now but I guess I am not really coping anymore. Anyways, just wanted to let everyone know that it does get better. I am reading these posts and many of you were where I once was. i mean I would wake up at 3 and think about it an hour, the mornings I couldnt concentrate, I prayed that she would message and email me, i never begged but the few times we spoke I wasnt the most upbeat person, and so on. Its tough at first and that is so natural, we loved someone and things changed. The bottom line is none of the above stuff really happens anymore. I have an appetite, I sleep well and I dont concntrate on calling her or maintining NC because just simple I have lost the urge. I guess this really hit me the other night because my ex messaged me to see if it was ok to talk and I have to say that I was dissapointed that it wasnt the new girl that I am seeing. I mean I have only seen the new girl a month and not sure where it is going but the thought that it was a letdown to see it was my ex and not the girl im dating speaks volumes. Mind you I do still love my ex and hope the best for her but I am no longer in Love with her. I use to wonder if we could do the friends with benefit thing too and now the thought kinda sickens me (and no I am not getting any sex yet elsewhere). I just think the body has mechanisms that kick in during times of trauma. I spent 2 months wollowing in sadness but I think I just got tired of it. There is alot of beautiful people out there to meet or on the other side enjoy the time to yourself. Also accept the pain is normal and that we are only human. This forum is also great because there are so many people that can relate and offer advice. I hope that during my time here I have helped some others as well. Well I hope things get better for anyone who reads this. Dont ever think that you wont love again, that you are worthless or that you can never improve on your ex. Sometimes you might be suprised on what you can learn about yourself after going through tough times.
9Lives Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 It is always refreshing for someone who has been thru this pain to come back and give others hope that one day all this anguish will be over. I feel like I have to accept he is gone but my heart is dying inside cause I dont want him gone. I never wanted to break up but life is not letting us be together. I must move on cause I have no other choice. But thanks for letting me see what the future holds in a sense. One day, I will be able to be fine and hopefully this will serve me for a better good i guess..sigh:(
countingstarsagain Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Thanks for posting this! It's been a month and a half since my split with my ex of 3.5 years. I been doing no contact for 8 days now and things have started to look up, until this morning. I've felt unbelievably sad and I got on here looking for hope, and you gave it to me. Thank you so much!!! You've shown me that there IS light at the end of the tunnel, even though it's pitch black right now.
Author Broseph Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 (edited) 9 lives and countingstarsagain Being on LS for 3 months now I have read alot of posts and some of the people here are so intriguing. I guess you see alot of threads saying "its been 3 months, why do I still feel like this?". I think in the end we shouldnt stress to much about how we feel and different people take longer or shorter to move on.. and of course this is the case. We all come from different relationships, have different support groups, and most of all different ex's. You both seem like you have tremendously big hearts (I think i do too) so you should take this as a compliment in your grieving. Love is a leap of faith and when it doesnt work emotions will run high. Countingstars my sit sounds similar to you, my relationship was almost four years. Actually come to think about our anniversary would have been last week and this actually sliped my mind till now(which two months ago would have seemed impossible). I really think about 6 weeks in I hit rock bottom but since then I have climbed way up. Like I said I still think of her and hope she is well but I dont want to try to mend anything broken anymore. I remember the first month post break up how I wanted her to eat crow and realize that she had made a mistake, I dont even think I feel this way anymore. I have moved on to concentrate on myself these days. It will come to you guys but dont ever compare yourselves to anyone else here or get discouraged your not further along. Edited November 28, 2009 by Broseph
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