lostlittlelady Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 I have been snooping thru my BF of 2 yrs' phone after he began to act really distant and weird. He deletes all text messages but leaves the call logs intact, and has been talking to this one coworker of his at weird hours. 1, 2 am, wtf??? He comes home a little later too, and goes out by himself more. Then I noticed he recently deleted her name from his contact list, but her phone number still appears in the recent call logs. He called her at 2 am on Thanksgiving. So...why would he delete her name unless he was worried I would find it? Cuz he's cheating, right? I could really go nuts right about now.
lonelyandfrustrated Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 What are you going to do? If it were me, and he was my boyfriend, he'd be exed in a heartbeat and I'd put out the NEXT! flag. Of course, you can ask him about it and make him really uncomfortable first, then call her and tell her she can have the sloppy seconds she was after. lol. Sorry.
Author lostlittlelady Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 I am seriously thinking about calling her and giving her an earful. She works down the street from me and I would love to go down there and beat her a$$ one day in front of everyone...jump her after work or something!!!
lonelyandfrustrated Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Don't do anything that will put you in jail or otherwise make you look bad! He's calling HER, right? Beat his a$$! (lol, j/k, something tells me he's not worth it) Seriously, have you talked to him about it? If he gives you the 'just friends' thing, just tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and ask him to stop. Then watch. Don't tell him you know about the phone, he'll just clear the call logs. Do ya'll live together? Tell him you 'heard' that he's been making time with this girl, and don't divulge your source. It'll drive him batty trying to figure out which of his so-called friends ratted him out. But I'd just dump him. You're wasting valuable time.
Baroness67 Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Yes, that's a very bad sign. My WH spent about a year practically taking his phone in to the shower with him, sleeping with it, etc. Deleting all text messages. One night last year after a few beers he forgot the phone and left it charging in an outlet in his closet. I noticed it was in "airplane mode" - all the better not to get any inconveniently timed calls/texts and check them at his leisure. I took the phone out of airplane mode and boom, boom, boom ... she was texting him from her "date" with her boyfriend (!) saying "miss you baby" at 10pm, 10:40pm, 11:08pm, you get the idea. I'm not stupid, I had known for quite a while there was something going on (gym, sports car, new clothes, cologne, early to work and late to home, couldn't look me in the eye, kissed me like his grandma, slept in the guest room, ignored the kids, etc.) but he just kept blaming it on his approaching 50 and "wanting to get in shape, life is short, business is booming, too tired to talk" ... I brought the phone to him when I saw the messages and that's when he finally admitted what had been going on. Late texts, calls = no good.
norajane Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 I am seriously thinking about calling her and giving her an earful. She works down the street from me and I would love to go down there and beat her a$$ one day in front of everyone...jump her after work or something!!! She's not the problem. Your bf is the problem - he's the one calling her and seeing her. If it weren't this girl, it would be someone else. Direct all that anger at your bf. HE is the one who is cheating on you.
LadyDi Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 I don't think "beating her ass" is the classy thing to do. Try a more civilized approach, like booting HIM out.
betrayed2 Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 Get rid of him! Just sit back and wait for it to come back around to him. It always does.
ADF Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 There's an easy way to solve this problem. Just tell your BF you've been snooping through his phone and spying on him. If he has any self-respect at all, he'll dump you just for that.
Samantha0905 Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 Ummm, why would you want to beat her ass? Seems that's some displaced anger. I vote against beating any asses. Just dump him.
2sunny Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 I am seriously thinking about calling her and giving her an earful. She works down the street from me and I would love to go down there and beat her a$$ one day in front of everyone...jump her after work or something!!! HEEEEER? what about going directly to HIM? tell him - it's over... what's wrong with that plan? it's his actions you should be dealing with - not hers. dump him - and tell him exactly why...
knowstoomuch Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Your BF may be lying to the other girl. Maybe she doesn't know he's involved with someone and he's telling her he's single, or maybe not -- If I were you i would be furious with the BF, not so much the other girl. Either way, you need to ask yourself this: is your relationship worth all of the stress you're putting yourself through? Can you overcome the breech of trust he's created? I know you've been with him for a long time, and that only makes it more difficult to break up. But, what would be worse.. Break up with him now and deal with that pain, or spend the rest of your relationship suspecting him of cheating? I wish you the best.. just something i thought you should think about.
Fallen Angel Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Yes, it seems very hinky. My MM has done similar things, erasing texts, "locking" his phone, and putting a password on his voicemail retrieval, so that his W can not get into it. He also keeps it with him, or locked in his truck at all times. (He charges it in the truck rather than in the house..) As to wanting to beat up the OW, your anger is mis-directed. Your boyfriend is the one who is breaking a commitment to you. Unless this girl has been a good friend of yours, she really owes you no loyalty. But your boyfriend made a commitment to you, and it is him that has EARNED your anger. Hold HIM accountable for his own actions. Even if the OW was the agressor, I assure you she didn't hold him against his will.
theflagal Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Lose this loser.You don't need to be in a relationship like this. Tell him you know what is going on and that you have no trust left in this sick relationship. If he wants the OW let him have her. Don't even waste a second of your time thinking about her. The problem is this guy get rid of him. He is not worth the trouble you can do much better. .
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