HeavenOrHell Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Sometimes people on LS say that in the end they were glad their ex left them cos they then went on to meet the love of their life. Someone here who is 50 said this happened to them, they were glad they split up as they then met the love of their life when they were 50. But how does that person know that the love of their life will stay with them, does that mean that the love of your life is only the love of your life if you are with them until you die? But what about if you've already had 18 years with the person you know is the love of your life and that no-one else will come close to them? Then what? And if the person who you feel is the love of your life leaves, well maybe this means there is no such thing as the love of your life? I know in my heart that no-one will come close to him.
Crow9726 Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 I was with the love of my life for 28 years as a couple...married for 26. She had a mid life crisis (long involved story there) and reconnected with her original high school boyfriend. After visiting him she slowly put me on the back burner before informing me that he was the love of her life and she had never gotten over him. Will I ever find another love of my life? Nope. Had it...lost it many years later. I don't think it can be duplicated...and anything else is a cheap imitation. Not sure why I responded to the post...just melancholy today I guess.
Author HeavenOrHell Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 That's so painfully heartbreaking So sorry. I am so not looking forward to the day my ex meets someone else. (((((hugs))))) to you x I was with the love of my life for 28 years as a couple...married for 26. She had a mid life crisis (long involved story there) and reconnected with her original high school boyfriend. After visiting him she slowly put me on the back burner before informing me that he was the love of her life and she had never gotten over him. Will I ever find another love of my life? Nope. Had it...lost it many years later. I don't think it can be duplicated...and anything else is a cheap imitation. Not sure why I responded to the post...just melancholy today I guess.
DustySaltus Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Reconnected with who I thought was the love of my life 8 years later. Moved to Israel to be with her, was engaged to be married. Turns out she had bpd and runined a great thing with her trust and anger issues. Did I think she was the love of my life? Yeah, I thought so. But I don't believe in that anymore thanks to her. I did a thousand things to try and make it work, but nothing was ever good enough. That's no even love..
Printer Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 The love of my life, I know, is irreplacable. She left me 10 months ago. We were together for 24 years. During that time we had highs, our son being born and lows, wife having life saving surgery. I just know that nobody can ever meet or exceed her appeal. I miss her so much and would love to have her back in my life. I will never find another love of my life. Never!
Author HeavenOrHell Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 I know exactly how you feel. My ex wasn't perfect but he was perfect for me, I'm not perfect either, but I can't imagine a more perfect relationship. Maybe I'll be proved wrong, unlikely! The love of my life, I know, is irreplacable. She left me 10 months ago. We were together for 24 years. During that time we had highs, our son being born and lows, wife having life saving surgery. I just know that nobody can ever meet or exceed her appeal. I miss her so much and would love to have her back in my life. I will never find another love of my life. Never!
kyta Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
ann09 Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 I have met the love of my life. And I know that if I don't end up with him, there will NEVER be another. He is the one I was meant to be with and because I know this - I can't imagine ever loving another man or letting them love me. So if I can't love him, I will have a loveless life. And that will be awful - but it would be even worse trying to get that feeling with another. It just couldn't happen.
ItsAllGoodAgain Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 I have been in love a few times. Were any of them the love of my life? No!! Because they are no longer a part of my life. Yeah, at the time I thought I had found "the love of my life" and they were at the time. I know that I can love again and I will find someone who feels the same for me. The love of my life is not in my past, she is in my future!! I can't wait to meet her.
dashing daisy Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 What do you guys think it means to say the "love of your life"? I don't know what this means, so I guess that means I haven't found it? Do you know when you meet them? My ex called me the "love of his life" but he broke up with me...
Author HeavenOrHell Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 You know when you find them, you just know, you just totally click in every way possible and have such a deep love for each other and you know you don't want anyone else, that no-one would come close to what you have. You are yourselves totally with each other. I have been in love before my ex but they did not feel like the love of my life, there wasn't that same connection, the specialness. What do you guys think it means to say the "love of your life"? I don't know what this means, so I guess that means I haven't found it? Do you know when you meet them? My ex called me the "love of his life" but he broke up with me...
nobmagnet Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 i dont think I have encountered the love of my life either. as was mentioned anyone unprepared to make it work/have an affaire could never ever be "the love of your life" or they would be here.
DenverBachelor Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Thanks to everyone for making this one of the most depressing threads ever! The love of my life is in the mirror. We'll never be separated. We'll always be a team together. Our relationship will last until I die, too.
Beeotch Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Sometimes people on LS say that in the end they were glad their ex left them cos they then went on to meet the love of their life. Someone here who is 50 said this happened to them, they were glad they split up as they then met the love of their life when they were 50. But how does that person know that the love of their life will stay with them, does that mean that the love of your life is only the love of your life if you are with them until you die? But what about if you've already had 18 years with the person you know is the love of your life and that no-one else will come close to them? Then what? And if the person who you feel is the love of your life leaves, well maybe this means there is no such thing as the love of your life? I know in my heart that no-one will come close to him. How long have you guys broken up? How old are you? There is NO WAY of knowing if this person will truly be the best thing ever until you live some more. Wait another 5 years and then come back and tell us if you feel the same...then 10...then 15. Your recent ex is most likely going to seem the world to you UNTIL you meet someone new who is better. You CAN'T talk about whart you don't know. You only know he has been great thus far in your life...but you have no idea what tomorrow, furthermore the next 5 years hold.
Beeotch Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. Agree...I think sometimes it is how we look at things that hold us back. Someone can't be the love of your lie if you aren't the love of theirs IMO. They leave you for someone else and all that, then that simply means it was not meant to be forever. They were for a season, perhaps even a long season, but ultimately it was not "in the plan" for you guys to go to the grave together...so what can that mean? Other doors and paths are before you to venture on. It is by no means easy and I feel nauseous at the thought of someone of 28 years leaving me...I can't even imagine..... BUT I would have to conclude that our season was up at that point and that the feelings are NOT mutual.
Beeotch Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I have been in love a few times. Were any of them the love of my life? No!! Because they are no longer a part of my life. Yeah, at the time I thought I had found "the love of my life" and they were at the time. I know that I can love again and I will find someone who feels the same for me. The love of my life is not in my past, she is in my future!! I can't wait to meet her. Indeed!
sean1970 Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 So if I can't love him, I will have a loveless life. And that will be awful - but it would be even worse trying to get that feeling with another. It just couldn't happen.. 'Worse'? True happiness with another would be 'worse'? And you dont 'try' to get that feeling, it just happens. Prepare and welcome it when it does. We all arrived here pessimistic after our breakup; its not how you should leave.
ItsAllGoodAgain Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Indeed! Indeed is right. I still miss the girl sometimes though. But these moments are becoming fewer and further between as each day passes. During the past week or so I've woke up not thinking about her. I've gone to bed not thinking about her as well. Just little things through out my day that makes me think of her. I feel that these moments are what keeps me from letting myself find love again. Someday though, someday...
bluestraps Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Ive been thinking about this. When you cant imagine your life without them,that's how you know you had or have, the love of your life. And I hope with some luck and help from above, we will get back together. But if we don't, Im gonna have some searching to do. I know I will judge both the good and bad things about any new love by my Ex girlfriend and what we shared , What we did , How I feel about her, and even how she looks. My Ex and I were together for 10 years. After a certain amount of time you know most everything about the other person. You feel like you can tell them anything. And they feel the same, without running away. When you will do anything for the other person and you share your life with each other, both the good and the bad, AND you stay together Also the moretime you spend with them they are the love of your life. Love is what you want it to be!
motive2002 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I've learned through experience that there is no "one magic person" that is the "love of your life". If you choose to linger in the past, you're putting the future on hold. I guess it's up to you how long you wish to keep doing that. I suppose it would be the love of your life if you will never accept that kind of love from another person. You'd be robbing yourself of once again having those feelings. That's not a very nice way to treat yourself.. don't you think?
Author HeavenOrHell Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 We broke up in July, I'm 43, he's 39. I had several relationships before I met him. I was his first, he always said he felt lucky that he'd found the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with while he was young. He didn't leave me for anyone else, even now he says it will be a long time before he knows if he wants to be with anyone else. He left out of my neglect the last 2 years. We're still close. How long have you guys broken up? How old are you? There is NO WAY of knowing if this person will truly be the best thing ever until you live some more. Wait another 5 years and then come back and tell us if you feel the same...then 10...then 15. Your recent ex is most likely going to seem the world to you UNTIL you meet someone new who is better. You CAN'T talk about whart you don't know. You only know he has been great thus far in your life...but you have no idea what tomorrow, furthermore the next 5 years hold.
ann09 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 'Worse'? True happiness with another would be 'worse'? And you dont 'try' to get that feeling, it just happens. Prepare and welcome it when it does. We all arrived here pessimistic after our breakup; its not how you should leave. Honestly - I just couldn't do it. I couldn't share what I have shared with him with anyone else. Ever. hard to explain but I am sure there are people out there that get it. I would rather live my life without love then have it with anyone but him. I would only be thankful that I had it for as little time as I did. Hows taht saying go - better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all?
Author HeavenOrHell Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 Exactly! I'm not saying I will definitely never feel so strongly or so deeply about anyone ever again, but I feel it is unlikely. Honestly - I just couldn't do it. I couldn't share what I have shared with him with anyone else. Ever. hard to explain but I am sure there are people out there that get it. I would rather live my life without love then have it with anyone but him. I would only be thankful that I had it for as little time as I did. Hows taht saying go - better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all?
sean1970 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Exactly! I'm not saying I will definitely never feel so strongly or so deeply about anyone ever again, but I feel it is unlikely. How will you know until you break away from this one?
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