Lost-n-confused Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Going on a second date tonight. After I get out of the car I want to hold her hand to establish that I like her and want to be more then friends. Should I just grab her hand when she gets out of the car or just offer it? Also is it better to hold hands or offer her my arm? Note: This girl original told me she wasn't looking for relationship cause she just got out of relationship 3 months ago and was hurt real bad. So she probably wants to take it slow. Although I really want to sweep her off her feet. She grabbed my arm on the last date for a short time when walked through the crowed to the movies. There was also some light flirty touching.
threebyfate Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Shimmy up beside her and slide your hand over hers. If she doesn't like it, she'll pull away. Offering your hand to her, isn't as assertive or confident, as taking her hand with the belief that she'll want you to do it.
t0ri Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Shimmy up beside her and slide your hand over hers. If she doesn't like it, she'll pull away. Offering your hand to her, isn't as assertive or confident, as taking her hand with the belief that she'll want you to do it. Agreed. Just go for it.
jerseyboy Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 When you are sitting, like at dinner, play with her hand Also dont be afraid to play with her hair, or her arm (like stroke it some) while you are talking. Just do it like it was the most natural thing in the world. Or put your hand on her lower thigh when you reach in to say something to her. You dont have to keep it there forever, just while you are saying whatever it is you are. You can tell what she does or doesnt want. Watch her reactions. Stuff like that and youll do fine. You are in Cali I think right? So its probably just as easy there as here. Like walk a little after dinner. All you are really doing is walking her to somewhere, like here everyhting is by the water, just something other than a parking lot ideally. But whatever is available. Thats where you can kiss her Youn dont have to freak her out. Just close the distance some so you are standing kinda close. If you goi to stroke her face or hair, shell know whats coming, and her body tells you if shes ready. Then do it If shes not shell prolly start laughing, make a joke and pull away. If so you are probably done broly
Exit Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Just go for it. If she pulls away, then the ball is in her court and you can wait for her to show interest. I was hanging out with this chick for a while, tried to hold her hand one time and she wasn't into it. So I decided I would just leave it alone. Two or three dates later we were driving around and she had her arm over on my side of the car for like 5 minutes but I just kept driving, doing the same thing she did to me, acting like I didn't know what she wanted. Eventually she grabbed my hand and that was that.
Johnny M Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Going on a second date tonight. After I get out of the car I want to hold her hand to establish that I like her and want to be more then friends. Should I just grab her hand when she gets out of the car or just offer it? How about grabbing her @ss instead?
threebyfate Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 The other way you can hold her hand, is to open her car door for her, then tuck her hand over your arm, on the inside of your elbow. Keep your hand over hers and continue walking. When you enter the restaurant after you remove your coats, helping her with her coat, put your hand in the small of her back, to guide her to the table. This shows you have manners and also gets her accustomed to your touch.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Shimmy up beside her and slide your hand over hers. If she doesn't like it, she'll pull away. Offering your hand to her, isn't as assertive or confident, as taking her hand with the belief that she'll want you to do it. Exactly. That's hot.
alphamale Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Going on a second date tonight. After I get out of the car I want to hold her hand to establish that I like her and want to be more then friends. Should I just grab her hand when she gets out of the car or just offer it? just grab her hand Also is it better to hold hands or offer her my arm? the former
norajane Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 You're over-thinking. Don't worry about it and just take her hand when it feels natural.
alphamale Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 You're over-thinking. Don't worry about it and just take her hand when it feels natural. thats easy to say when you're not the boy. and what/when is "natural" anyways?!?
norajane Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 thats easy to say when you're not the boy. and what/when is "natural" anyways?!? Natual is when it feels right and not awkward or something you have to think about. And I've taken a guy's hand, or touched them. It's part of flirting and not reserved for guys to do.
alphamale Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Natual is when it feels right and not awkward or something you have to think about.. thats called "making the move", we always think about it...
Vertex Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 (edited) I always started small and slowly worked my way up -- like threebyfate said, just get her accustomed to your touch. What I've done in the past is put my hand to the small of their back when guiding them through a door or something. If they don't have any immediate negative reaction, then you're good. Do it a few more times and see how she responds. What I might do next is touch their thigh if I am leaning in to speak -- if that goes well, move up to something with more contact. For me, that might be how close you guys walk together. If there's a lot of shoulder-brushing and arm-brushing and that sort of thing from time to time, good to go. Then I might go in for holding their hand or something. Of course, I've only done this once on my own. :/ The other case: my first girlfriend was somewhat aggressive and just grabbed my hand fairly soon without much warmup. I can't say I had any complaints, though -- I thought it was cute and endearing. Edited November 28, 2009 by Vertex
Yukikazi Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Well I always say go all in and grab that ass... just kidding try to stay close to her and occasionally brush up against her.. DO NOT APOLOGIZE for it.. you'll look like a wuss. If you don't notice her moveing away.. start adding touching her arm when your talking and making a point. Don't grab her arm.. just a loose hold or open palm . Depending on how close you are.. like a louder club.. when you lean in to talk to her.. put your hand on the small of her back.. Maintain eye contact even if you have to talk louder into her ear.. you are well aware of what you are doing in loud venues when someone is yelling in your ear. You're looking around to see what else is going on. You need to maintain eye contact when you are talking with your girl even in a loud venue so she maintains focus on you. Assuming she is matching you for physical contact at this point.. no response is not a no either just take it slow and watch for signs she is comfortable with your touch. Though by this time she should have at least 1 hand on you also or at the very least showing the body language that shows she is interested. If you are in doubt.. lean back a little.. see if she leans forward. If you manage to get this far.. come back and I'm sure we can explain how to go from here GL
Author Lost-n-confused Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 I ended up taking her arm on the way to the car after dinner. Wanted to be a gentlemen but asertive and confident. For full details on the second date read my other thread. I need advice on what to do. She really didn't touch me like on the first date but she didn't pull back when I touched her either. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=209758&page=9
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