Butterflying Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I love kissing. In fact, it's usually foreplay because if he is a great kisser, then I get sooooo turned on that it ALWAYS leads to sex. This is great for guys who only want sex anyway. But it's terrible when I don't want to have sex. So I end up avoiding kissing a guy at all unless I DO want sex. I want to make out for hours kissing, touching, or whatever goes on in make out sessions. But I don't want to have sex. So how do I do this? Is there touching involved with making out? Are hands inside clothing on intimate areas (breast, chest, genitals). How far do you go before it stops? And most importantly, how do you stop it before it leads to sex? Is there a safe word or something?
threebyfate Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 If you're willing to go this far, why not have sex?
rateyes Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 unless you tell them before hand, they will usually go for sex after a while. make it clear what you want, and itll only go so far. and making out is what you make it.
threebyfate Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Even as a woman, hours of foreplay would drive me to drink. I can't imagine what this would do to a man.
jerseyboy Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 If a girl lets you touch her breasts, shes pretty much toast. You are going to have sex The only thing you can do is control the environment (ie don let him in the house) if thats the issue. Girls telling you not to doesnt really work either. Guys just keep trying to touch, she moves your hand, wait a few, rinse and repeat and eventually she caves. My ex was actually really good at putting me off while we made out for endless hours, usually in the car or out on the docks She didnt tell me not to, she just holds my face and looks me right in the eye, and like really softly she says "baby do you really want this to be where we have our first time, where well always remember" Uggh I was fine with it:) But she wasnt, and the way she said it,,,,,,,women and your angelic voices arrggh
Author Butterflying Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 Even as a woman, hours of foreplay would drive me to drink. I can't imagine what this would do to a man. That's just it!!! I don't want KISSING to be foreplay. For once, I'd like to enjoy a wonderful evening with a man (usually someone I've been dating long enough to feel comfortable kissing, but not long enough to have sex) and end it making out on the sofa, in the front seat of the car, or wherever. Recently, I was kissing this guy I've been dating for a short while. I cooked dinner at my place. After dinner, we were having desert wine in the living room. We kissed. That lead to our hands being all over each other. The next thing I know, we were having sex. It wasn't bad. I just would like to have gotten to know him better before going that far. But once I let him touch my intimate parts and I started touching his, it was too far to stop. I've overheard people talk about making out all the time. It doesn't end with sex. I just wish I knew the secret. Even as a teenager, the first time I made out with a guy, I lost my virginity. I've never just kissed a man without having sex with him too.
InspiredbyYou Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Coming from a woman who loves to make out, who has even made men ejaculate in their pants only by kissing no touching genitals, I can tell you it is quite easily done. All you need is self control. The way you do it is you touch everything but on his body, you caress one another and avoid the genitals or breast area. If you are going to touch each other under your clothes you might as well go all the way, that's the point of no return. When you reach a point of where you are so turned on you feel all kinds of things going on "down there" stop. Take a breather cool down and tell him you need to stop now. It's best to call it a night at that point. Enjoy it, it's so much fun. My current guy and I had months of fun doing that and it was so erotic. When we finally made love it took the relationship to a whole new plane because the build up had been so intense. Now we enjoy a very charged sex life. It's the best! But I should warn you a guy who is only interested in you for sex will not stick around for much of that, he'll get tired after one date. A guy who really takes interest in you for more than just sex will stick around and enjoy whatever you have "in store" for him, because he enjoys your company regardless. Oh and do as Rateyes suggests, make sure you tell them you want to take the sexual aspect of the relationship slow. That's always worked for me.
threebyfate Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 That's just it!!! I don't want KISSING to be foreplay. For once, I'd like to enjoy a wonderful evening with a man (usually someone I've been dating long enough to feel comfortable kissing, but not long enough to have sex) and end it making out on the sofa, in the front seat of the car, or wherever. Recently, I was kissing this guy I've been dating for a short while. I cooked dinner at my place. After dinner, we were having desert wine in the living room. We kissed. That lead to our hands being all over each other. The next thing I know, we were having sex. It wasn't bad. I just would like to have gotten to know him better before going that far. But once I let him touch my intimate parts and I started touching his, it was too far to stop. I've overheard people talk about making out all the time. It doesn't end with sex. I just wish I knew the secret. Even as a teenager, the first time I made out with a guy, I lost my virginity. I've never just kissed a man without having sex with him too.Mixed messages isn't the way to stop going forward. You can kiss a man and touch, without touching erogenous zones. To want the sensuality of serious french kissing and then touching intimately, then wanting to stop, is a mixed message. To have a guy over for dinner at your place or his place, make out hot and heavy on the couch, then say "NO" is beyond a mixed message. It's a cocktease.
InspiredbyYou Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 (edited) . But once I let him touch my intimate parts and I started touching his, it was too far to stop. I've overheard people talk about making out all the time. It doesn't end with sex. I just wish I knew the secret. Even as a teenager, the first time I made out with a guy, I lost my virginity. I've never just kissed a man without having sex with him too. The secret is do not touch each other's privates. Stop if it feels too arousing, you can rub up against each other and caress each other everywhere but if he tries to touch your genitals just stop him don't get carried away. If that becomes too frustrating for you then you are really going to have to make an effort. It can be done with a little training. You need to have self control. Talking from experience, no man has EVER reacted badly to that. I think they secretly love it. ;-) Edited November 27, 2009 by InspiredbyYou
hopesndreams Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 No, no, no....why deny yourself pleasure? If just kissing gets you going to the point of not being able to control yourself...then don't kiss. That simple. Otherwise, go whole hog. No regrets.
InspiredbyYou Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 No, no, no....why deny yourself pleasure? If just kissing gets you going to the point of not being able to control yourself...then don't kiss. That simple. Otherwise, go whole hog. No regrets. But kissing gets most people to the point of being super sexually aroused!?!? Unless you are frigid or asexual. Are you suggesting she never kiss then!?!? What's with all these implications that you must only kiss passionately if you are wiling to have sex!?!? Is this what our society has come to, a totally unromantic state of extremism where people can only connect physically if they are willing and ready to have intercourse!?!? Kissing passionately does not have to equal sex, not by a long shot, and it's not a tease either, it is just another from of romantic expression. Eventually it should lead to sex, yes of course why do it if not. But it doesn't have to equal that in the moment. It's like suggesting, "unless you are going to get drunk never ever drink wine because why limit your pleasure from drinking to oblivion?" Makes no sense to me.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 If you are going for a very sensual kiss filled with passion, it might just be too much for making out. Maybe try a lighter, flirtier kiss? You could also look at this pattern that you have and think about what you can do differently. If you want a make out session as opposed to something that ends with actual intercourse, you can think about and decide what that would look like for you. Think about new things that you can do short of hot, sensual, passion laden actions that will leave you with the make out or mini make out that you want.
hopesndreams Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 But kissing gets most people to the point of being super sexually aroused!?!? Unless you are frigid or asexual. Are you suggesting she never kiss then!?!? What's with all these implications that you must only kiss passionately if you are wiling to have sex!?!? Is this what our society has come to, a totally unromantic state of extremism where people can only connect physically if they are willing and ready to have intercourse!?!? Kissing passionately does not have to equal sex, not by a long shot, and it's not a tease either, it is just another from of romantic expression. Eventually it should lead to sex, yes of course why do it if not. But it doesn't have to equal that in the moment. It's like suggesting, "unless you are going to get drunk never ever drink wine because why limit your pleasure from drinking to oblivion?" Makes no sense to me. So true, so true. Good analogy. If you can limit yourself, fantastic. If you cannot, don't have that 1st drink, or...1st kiss, until you are ready to get totally wasted or have sex.
Ody Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I want to make out for hours kissing, touching, or whatever goes on in make out sessions. But I don't want to have sex. So how do I do this? Is there touching involved with making out? Are hands inside clothing on intimate areas (breast, chest, genitals). How far do you go before it stops? And most importantly, how do you stop it before it leads to sex? Is there a safe word or something? I think you're SOL. As JB said this approach always caves. It caves on both sides in fact, not just the guy wanting to have sex. Any particular reason you don't want to have sex?
jerseyboy Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 that's it... I'm going to start kissing more girls. I can't wait to see where this leads. lol .,,,,
bac Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 During first dates you may do whatever you want, except having any type of sex. Slowly, from 1 to 5 date you can do different things. Start with kissing, then continue with touching, then on 5th date you may touch his/your stuff, if he is OK with it. Be reasonable and watch his reaction. You may want to say him during this time that you are not ready for sex yet. Let him know that you like him and it is not rejection. Then, if he does wrong move, you just say 'No'. Say it seriously, so he would understand that 'No' is 'No'. If he does not understand you, you can not make him do these things. All you can do either drop him, or have sex with him the way he expects it to happen. On the other hand, he can not make you have sex with him if you say 'No', even if you touch his c...ck or whatever. You can not do it to every man because men have different expectations about sex. But, you probably can find a man who would be OK with it.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Even as a woman, hours of foreplay would drive me to drink. I can't imagine what this would do to a man. :lmao: HAHAHAAAAA I imagine they'd get a little angry. Hopefully, OP, you let them know upfront they aren't getting sex. LOL
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