hopefulInFuture Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 In the end of May I came here posting about how betrayed I felt. I left my boyfriend because he was double-gaming. Several months down the line I am very happy and excited about my life and dumping him was the best thing I could do for myself . While with him my life seemed so insecure, I could not figure out how to improve things, how to be happy. Now, look at me, I am glowing of happiness and I lead a very satisfactory and active life and I do things I want to do. So, to all of you who are in a confused situation where you can't let go yet are wondering if things will ever get better, fight for yourself and don't be affraid to make a move and be alone. It can only get better... I am also very happy for what happened yesterday. To be honest, I always knew that it would happen. I am a very intuitive woman and my intuition has always worked out to be true. Although I was not waiting for this, I knew it would come... And now that it happened I am even happier because this confirmed that I won. I won because I did the best choice for my life I could have done by leaving him... No regrets whatsoever... Now, you'd be wondering what happened. And here it goes... Yesterday my ex wrote me in the corporate messenger system and told me that he's sorry for all the hurt he caused me and that it's all his fault. He thought a lot about what happened between us and although he did love me a lot the truth is that all the time we were together he was unsure about the fact that I was the right person for him. He's still wondering to date (after 6 months that we don't see each other) if I am the right woman for him that he's lost so stupidly . His life must be a hell if he still thinks about me and if he still wonders about this. I don't think of him at all. I just go on happily with my daily life and he's a remote memory. I told him that he should be happy with her (the girl I found out he was seeing). They now live together. He said he's unable to be happy with anyone. He said she's not right for him and he has to compromise so much. He said it's his problem and maybe he should just be alone and should not break women's hearts... He apologized for all the hurt he caused me. I told him that there's no more need for apologies because what happened is the best thing for me and that I am doing wonderful now and that I am free of sorrows and doubts. My life is full of serenity now and I no longer have hurtful memories... And that I am glad things happened the way they did. I truly am. Now one thing that this demonstrates to me that he's not a good man. He's not a man to be trusted. I feel sorry for her. He said she's not right for him. I hope that he'll have courage to be honest with her and save her several months or years of pain if he's so uncommitted and unsure. But it's none of my business, he could be lying to me again and trying to get me back just for the fun of it. But it doesn't matter to me. Whichever way I don't care. Even if he were single trying to win me back I would never go back to him. I don't ever want to be with someone who doesn't know what he wants and who's a commitment phobe... I concluded by wishing him all the best and hoping that things will work out between them. Yahoo, I am so happy that I won
Author hopefulInFuture Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 why? do you blame me for dumping this cheater? Being with an uncommitted person who plays with your mind and then finding out that he's also cheating on you is one of the worst experiences of your life. I did the best thing for myself by getting out. This is why I am happy and I don't understand your comment.
GrayClouds Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 (edited) . Yahoo, I am so happy that I won I am happy your happy. Though the "i won" thing leaves me a bit perplex. It suggest that your focus after this break-up was more on the ex then yourself. My ex cheated. And while it is tempting, it is important for me to understand my happiness, esteem, and future quality of life has nothing to do with anything my ex does or does not do. It is not a competition to win by seeing who was right between her and me. The competition is between me and becoming a more self actualized me, if I can use jargon. I think it may be a bit misguided to think the end game to feel better then your ex, I will stand corrected if I am wrong, but your final statement suggest that is what your suggesting. It also reads like a bit angry, which may say your not quite where you think you are yet...but I wish you well. . Edited November 27, 2009 by GrayClouds
Author hopefulInFuture Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 Ok I understand what you're saying. I did not mean "winning" in that sense. It was not a game to me. I loved this person for 3 years and I gave everything to him. Now I wish him all the best and all the happiness in his life without me. When I said I won I was referring to the fact that making the choice I made 6 months back was like winning a lottery for myself and it was the best thing I could have done for my life. I meant that the choice I made was the winning choice for me. Thank you for your insight
soheartbroken Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I think what Sean1970 is trying to express is the hurt that the one left behind feels when the leaver/dumper is so incredibly happy after the split. Most of us are dumpees on here and our worst nightmare is that our ex thinks dumping us is the best thing that ever could have happened to them. So ya, it's a big "ouch" when someone comes on here and posts about how happy they are that they left someone. However, I see that your ex cheated, so in a sense he forced you to break up with him out of a sense of your own dignity or whatever. Hope I am as happy as you one day.
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