SimplyIzzy2010 Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 My ex put me through hell and back last year, and then left. Although I was heartbroken, I began to move on. Then he came back. And I gave him his last chance. Its been 4 months since his return. I am happy. We have not fought once. But every once in a while, more often than not, flashbacks of last year, or terrible things he did to me or said to me, come back to me. And I just cannot forget them and I desperately want to. These bad memories are ruining my relationship. They make me want to run away and get away from my boyfriend. I love him very much. I want these flashbacks to stop. But how? Is this normal?
Midnight Rider Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Whatever it was, you took him back so just try to focus on the present and your love. Forgive him of his past, and don't let these thoughts morph your perception of the relationship at this point. What's done is done, and you are back together now. One day in the future perhaps you will do something bad to him, and then he will take you back. In that case, you wouldn't like to think he would be reviewing your past all the time and procrastinating on moving forward with relationship. If you love him, forgive him. This is what the Lord taught. Move forward with your man, build new memories, strengthen the romance. Neither he nor you can undo the past.. what's most important now is that you've been back together for 4 months and everything is going well. Build on that.
betrayed2 Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 I agree with this other poster, you have to really let go and forgive or else those flashbacks will not go away. If you don't really forgive him things will just get worse so you need to sit and figure out if you can really let that anger/disapointment go.
You Go Girl Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 Well there's something to be said for self-preservation. He has hurt you in the past, and even though you have forgiven him, you haven't forgot. That's only natural. Keep taking it one day at a time for now.
puppydog Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 Forgive and let it go. If you don't, it will just fester and resentment will just build up. Then you'll just find reasons to bicker with him. Leave the past where it belongs. Look at this relationship now as something new. You're giving him a clean slate.
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