bigdaddyzz Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I am looking for some feedback on a issue with my girlfriend of two years. Here's a little history. She spent her High School years being raised by her aunt. She became very close to the family that lived next door. She has been close to them for 20 years now. There were 4 boys and one girl in this family. The girl has been her best friend all this time. During her High School years she had sex with three of the four brothers. One was her age the other two were in their mid 20's and one was married at the time. I realize the past is gone but I am very uncomfortable with her having contact with the two older brothers. One of the older brothers as become her friend on facebook and to be honest all comments have been normal things that friends would say. She has told me they are just friends just as the whole family is. They invite us to their family events. We have had some fights over this. I have told her how I felt. She does not want a big deal made about it because her best friend does not know this happened with her brothers. Am I wrong? I don't really understand why I am so jealous over this. It has become a big problem with us.
hoping2heal Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I used to have a friend who was in my life for SEVERAL years, well we had "sex". This was a point of contension in my relationship and it made my honey unhappy so I cut ties with the friend. Bottom line is this; you are upset because of the two of them had sex. They had sex and now they are in eachother's lives. That guy is nowhere near as important to me as my honey is, so he went and honey stays. I'm sure some people will tell me that's ****ed up, and I'm not a very good friend but facts are facts and he's not only a man, but we had sex in the past- we really have no business maintaining a relationship- and a friendship is a type of relationship- if we are serious about a romantic partner.
socalgurl012 Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 My boyfriend has 4 best friends well five including myself but one of his best friends is a girl. When we first started dating I saw nothing wrong with it but then he told me that she had a crush on him, and then he told me that they slept together at one point. I didn't see the problem if he truly didn't have any feelings for her, after all you can't control how the other person feels. Plus they have been friends for a long time and we were only dating for a few months. Now he and I have been together for a little over 2 years and she's still in his life. She is married but I feel and think that she has feelings for him still. I talked to him about this and he continues to reassure me that he doesn't have an emotional connection with her that they did have sex and a bit of small relationship for a few months but he broke it off because he didn't feel in love even though he does love her as a friend/person. He see's her as a best friend but that's all. He helped her through tough times as did she. However for the time that I've been in his life I have become the person he counts on a relies on. So how do I deal with this? Well I'm secure in the fact that emotionally we are connected. I know that he talks to her little stuff here and there they both live in separate states. But I'm his partner, his best friend, his love. His heart belongs to me and not her. The only thing you can do is trust and believe her, that you are the one she loves and they are just really friends. If her actions say otherwise (not theirs because the only person you should be concerned with is your gf) then you need to talk and re-evaluate the relationship. The jealousy you feel comes from insecurity about your relationship. The question is there a reason for this insecurity? Or is this a symptom of a bigger issue....
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