Taucher Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 So recently I have made a bit of progress. I still feel like I have lost the love of my life blah blah blah. BUT, I have had a few moments where I feel sort of...happy. And then when I realise that I am feeling a bit happy and calm, I feel guilty. I also feel sad straight away becasue I think "Oh, so this is how my ex feels? I am a memory to her and she has moved on." I feel like I am fighting my own progress. Is this normal?! Gah! T
melodymatters Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I'm assuming you are the dumpee, so why the guilt ? You deserve to be happy and if somone else didn't see you as part of their happiness picture, the only SANE thing would be to move on and try to find another happy-place. I never felt badly when a guy left : it meant he didn't value US, and thats all a relationship really is , a valuation of the US. Sounds like you are making fine progress, go with it, and good luck !
soheartbroken Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Absolutely normal (but who cares if it's normal or not? We're all a bit different anyway). I get the exact same feelings. Twice I have had moments where something was so funny that I laughed so hard that I cried, and both times the tears that started as tears of laughter turned into tears of sadness. But this is okay. Joy and sadness are just two sides of the same coin. When you're happy you open up the container of emotions, and right now that container still has a lot of sadness in it that needs to come out. You're still grieving. And then thoughts of guilt intrude, and thoughts that your ex is also happy. I totally get this too. Hopefully this will just fade as we fully grieve the loss.
GrayClouds Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 We no longer have a relationship but that pain give us some sense of connection to it. While we want to remover the pain we don't want to remove the connection. One reason why some of us hold on to the pain and have such a hard time letting it go because it mean letting go of you last remnant of a relationship. And feeling good is a amplifier of the fact we are moving on. If course you would find yourself in a bittersweet mind set. Your moving forward while saying good-by.
Thebob Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 So recently I have made a bit of progress. I still feel like I have lost the love of my life blah blah blah. BUT, I have had a few moments where I feel sort of...happy. And then when I realise that I am feeling a bit happy and calm, I feel guilty. I also feel sad straight away becasue I think "Oh, so this is how my ex feels? I am a memory to her and she has moved on." I feel like I am fighting my own progress. Is this normal?! Gah! T That is called recovering, and soon your guilt will go away. MINE IS FINALLY GOING AWAY and it took 2 months and 2 weeks. I still want to know what happened but she has been off my mind more often. Keep up the hard work! and meet a girl that treats you the way you want to be treated! Thebob
angelface78 Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 This is ok Taucher, I have also felt this way...the other day i started laughing like a crazy woman and then i felt weird.. i started thinking of him and the laughter all of a sudden turned into wailing and sobbing. I thought i was losing my mind. I guess it means we are healing and its like there are small traces of pain that want to come out when we experience other emotions. Dont worry my friend..someday we will be happy without guilt
soheartbroken Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 This is ok Taucher, I have also felt this way...the other day i started laughing like a crazy woman and then i felt weird.. i started thinking of him and the laughter all of a sudden turned into wailing and sobbing. I thought i was losing my mind. I guess it means we are healing and its like there are small traces of pain that want to come out when we experience other emotions. Dont worry my friend..someday we will be happy without guilt Precisely. Well said.
mickleb Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 ..the other day i started laughing like a crazy woman and then i felt weird.. I do this every day! But then, I probably did this every day BEFORE I met him, so.. I still feel like I have lost the love of my life blah blah blah. I think this sentence is a very good indicator of how far you have come, Grasshopper. Have a great weekend. x
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