Today is the first day ive allowed myself to cry

[EYECANDY000]

My bf and I have been broken up for a few days now, and I wasn't 'as' hurt only because I felt like if he was able to leave me over something so small then that means he didn't exactly care about the relationship.

 

But I think today is the first day that I have allowed myself to cry. I can't eat. I think I eat very small plates of food. The other day I realized that I hadn't ate in 24 hours and I've only had liquids.

 

I find myself texting him, and asking if I could come over. Only to get no response or just a simple NO!

 

I've emailed him, and begged for a response. Begged to tell me why?

 

I have conteplated if I should ride by his house and see if he's home. But I haven't .. yet

 

We have just came back from vacation a few days ago and to look at the pictures brings me to pieces.

 

I'm sitting home now, and pretty much don't want to go out and enjoy the holiday.

 

I can't sleep, because every time messages come to my phone I jump up and hope its him.

 

I don't know what to do to get over this feeling. This is my first love! And it hurts like hell.. We've been together a half a year now.

 

It did feel good to cry, so I feel a little better.

 

I don't have any friends to talk to, because I have isolated them to be with him

 

I feel so sorry for my doggy, squirt.. because all she wants to do is play. And I have no energy. She sits and is watching me cry. And is biting my toes. But all I want to do is cry

 

 

How do you guys deal with the pain so I can do the same.

Edited November 26, 2009 by EYECANDY000

[HLP234]

You will need to eventually stop crying, I know what you feel like and its horrible. Horrible is not even the word to describe it. You need to find something to do, go out with friends, talk to people, do other things. Try and ignore your ex as much as possible. If you don't plan on talking to them at all then even think of why they left or what happen and see if you can find anything wrong that they did, even if it makes you mad at them, it will eventually get better for you and you will heal. It takes time but nothing will happen as always if you do not try.

[deux ex machina]

I'm sorry this happened. I remember days like those. You are not alone.

 

How did I deal?

 

Just take care of you as best you can. Eat a little, even if you don't feel like it. Don't expect to be able to concentrate as well as usual.

 

If you have to cry - there is nothing wrong with that! At all!

 

It is GOOD. I didn't start to heal until I could cry...and it took awhile before I really let it out...ony then did I start to heal. So just keep that in mind, crying serves a purpose.

 

Don't be afraid to feel. Hit a pillow, scream, let it out.

[EYECANDY000]

Thank you guys for your kind words.

 

I'm glad I can read Loveshack to get a piece of mind. But , Thursday I cracked. I was sitting home and then I decided that maybe I should just ride by his house to see if he's home. Then I got in the car, and thought to myself ' why am I doing this'? And came back in. But the temptation got the best of me. I got back in the car and rode over his house. His car was outside , but no movement in his room or the living room. So I figured he might have caught a ride with someone else.. which he did.. but before I realozed he wasn't home I foound myself texting him asking, if he still loves me to come to the door, asking why he didn't come to the door, asking why he doesn't love me?

 

When he finally texted back and stated that he wasn't home, I asked if I could wait for him? And his response was 'for what?

 

I haven't called or texted him yesterday, but I'm going to call him today and hopefully talk to him. I've been woke since earlier this morning , crying...