Curious-One Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 So i have 2 best friends, we have known each other from elementary so we are pretty close. We try to hangout at least once a week and we always have fun. I really care about them and want to see them suceed but lately one thing has been pissing me off. I have been really getting frustrated because they say they will do something but they never do it. For example, they will say i am going back to schoool, i will start working out, lets start this and that business, i will buy a house etc.. Months go buy and they do nothing about it.. they dont sign up for classes , they started working out but than stop after 1 WEEK! Constantly talk about some business possibilities but at the end its just that ...TALK.. nothing comes of it. I feel like they are wasting my time. So me and my friend just started working out 1 week ago, we joined a gym that pays $15 a month.. we said we would workout 3 times a week at the same time.. we did it for 1 week , it was fun and i was actually was looking forward to it. Today i text my friend i am on my way and he says he cant come he has something to do... Mind you he doesnt go to school or has a job.. Fine i dont care i will go by my self had a good workout. Tonight i talk to him he tells me he will do p90x and will not workout in gym anymore. GRRRRR u couldnt even keep your word for a week... fine i will do it by my self but its really frustrating. Atleast he did better than the other friend, the other friend went one day than stopped coming. Am i being to harsh here , any time i mention this they get mad and come up w some excuses ... i am the kind of person that if i say i will do something i do it ,no if and buts about it. I will not say i will do something unless i thought about it for a long time and made a decision. Its not like they are asking for advice.. they are saying they WILL do it but never do it. Lately i said i was gonna quit my job and start college full time, 2 months later i did both. I said i will move out of my parents house...1 month later i have my own apartment. I said i would sell all my video game systems and focus on school... one week later my video game systems are sold. I say we will start working out. every morning i am am up and ready for workout even though i am a full time college student. My friend said he was gonna buy a house 2 months ago... i talked to him the other day... he hasnt even filled out a application yet.. hasnt looked at houses or anything...
Ronni_W Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 (edited) I don't think you're being "harsh"...just not very swift [because] You already know how these two are; you've got plenty of evidence that you're ignoring / not picking up on. Basically, what is compelling you to still expect something different from either of them? If it's a matter of their values being so far out of line with yours that it is irreconcilable (for you), then you would need to consider finding friends whose attitudes and behaviours will more closely align with yours. Or. Maybe these two are terrific to inspire and support you in your endeavours (or maybe not?)...but it does not sound as if they will actually be joining you in striving to achieve whatever objectives and goals you set for yourself. To keep wanting or expecting them to do that seems unrealistic and unreasonable on your part, will be an effort in futility, and will cause your own frustration and/or disappointment. In my mind, it's more about you accepting the differences in how you intend to do your life versus how they appear to be doing theirs...and then deciding if/how their way fits in with what you want and need from your "best" friends. That is, lots more assessing and discerning on your part than criticism and judgment. If that makes sense? In any case. Congrats on your successes to date, and wishing you many more in the future. Edited November 26, 2009 by Ronni_W
Boundary Problem Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Like tends to attract like. At a certain point there might not be as much in common. Mind you differences can be stimulating. Having friends isn't about living in each other's back pockets. It is about having someone to talk to who understand you better than anyone else and who shares life experience. Sometimes just talking about a problem can fix it. Lifting the burden so to speak. Maybe make a wider circle of friends so you have more options when you want to have a companion to go to the gym. In fact, if you want someone who is around all the time - why not start dating someone who shares your interests.
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