Magic123 Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 I love my husband and tell him and show him all the time but I still have an ongoing relationship over the last 4 yrs with my ex which has always been exclusive of my husband. It is only to help my ex, who refuses to meet my husband, and I tell my husband this all the time. My husband understands the reasoning and has helped me with my ex but reluctantly, if ever, do I divulge any letters, phone calls or other correspondence I have with my ex or my ex's family/friends to him. Recently in three letters that my husband read my ex has called me 'Dearest', signed off 'xoxoxo' and finally written that 'he still loves me and always will'. My husband can't understand why I am unable to tell my ex that this is inappropriate because in my last letter to him I simply asked why we were still recieving his mail because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I still care about my ex so is what I am doing wrong?
mark982 Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 you know darn well this is wrong,or you wouldn't be asking! you're showing your husband a total lack of respect. your ex is a ex for a reason.
mem11363 Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 You and your ex are both being super disrespectful to your husband. You should be ashamed. I love my husband and tell him and show him all the time but I still have an ongoing relationship over the last 4 yrs with my ex which has always been exclusive of my husband. It is only to help my ex, who refuses to meet my husband, and I tell my husband this all the time. My husband understands the reasoning and has helped me with my ex but reluctantly, if ever, do I divulge any letters, phone calls or other correspondence I have with my ex or my ex's family/friends to him. Recently in three letters that my husband read my ex has called me 'Dearest', signed off 'xoxoxo' and finally written that 'he still loves me and always will'. My husband can't understand why I am unable to tell my ex that this is inappropriate because in my last letter to him I simply asked why we were still recieving his mail because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I still care about my ex so is what I am doing wrong?
TimH Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 Cake and eat it too.NOT! Your married to one guy,act like it.
deux ex machina Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 You're dragging your ex's heart on the ground behind you because you "don't want to hurt his feelings", when in fact that's precisely what you're doing now. Does it mean that much to you to be good and on a pedestal that you'll do this? You don't have to be cruel, just firm. Set the poor guy free. Try to think of it as letting your ex go find someone else, just like you did. Because that's exactly what it is.
seibert253 Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I have a problem believing you truly do love your husband. If you did, you wouldn't treat him the way you do. I don't blame all of this on you though. Your husband should stand up and tell you this contact with your ex is unacceptable and it needs to cease. Since he won't I will.
Author Magic123 Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 I believe my husband is just jealous and since this is irrational and me helping my ex-BF is the good Christian thing to do then I am justified. Doesn't anyone see it my way?
Heroic Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 If you don't understand that your husband is your first priority, then you just might be looking for a new one.
freestyle Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I believe my husband is just jealous and since this is irrational and me helping my ex-BF is the good Christian thing to do then I am justified. Doesn't anyone see it my way? You say your H is "just jealous" as if it's something to be ashamed of. He's jealous because he's afraid of losing you, and your response is to flippantly criticize him?? And label him as "irrational"? Wow. Just. Wow. Would you prefer that your H didn't give a da*n about who you hang out with? Would you prefer indifference?
altheaespigar Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 I guess it's best to stop the communication with your ex. Try to consider your husband's feelings. What would you feel if your husband would communicate also with his ex girlfriend. I bet you would also feel hurt. I know you still care for your ex. But let him find another person, who is not committed, who will take care of him. It's time for both of you to move on.
JustLooking123 Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 You have no respect for your husband. If your ex is more important to you than your husband (which your actions clearly indicate is the case), then you should leave your husband to be with your ex. If this isn't a troll post, then you need to grow up.
deux ex machina Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 I believe my husband is just jealous and since this is irrational and me helping my ex-BF is the good Christian thing to do then I am justified. Doesn't anyone see it my way? Frankly, I see it as you getting off on all of it.
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