doomage Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 i had a female friend that i just stopped being friends with if you wanna read it it's in friends and lovers. i pretty much was infatuated with her and liked her so much, were not friends anymore but when we were she had another guy friend that had a girlfriend, she told me he was only a friend bu then later on i found out they had fooled around like kissing, not sure if they have gotten farther but to me it seems like just kissing and touching probably, she would always say they just do little pecks, ya right my ass. so anyway the dude has a girlfriend that thinks he's the best in the world, and my friendship pretty much ended because of my jealousy towards that dude and my female friend, since i was jealous he atleast got physical with her. she said he was only a friend but later on she said she was physically attracted to him. And she claims she's an innocent girl and she wouldnt cheat on anybody and wouln'nt like to be cheated on because she believes in karma, yet she's enabling this guy to cheat. he lives in my complex with his woman by the way he's 25 my ex friend is 20 and im 21. Does this make her a bad person, slutty, or what? how does this make her seem like? she told me once before that she told the guy if she had a boyfriend she couldn't go see him.
threebyfate Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 What it means is that she lacks moral boundaries, when it comes to other peoples' relationships. She's put the sole burden onto the guy, since he's the one in the relationships and accepts no responsibility for her part in being the third wheel. How you would label this, is up to you. I'll avoid labelling her due to personal bias against people who lack moral boundaries.
Author doomage Posted November 25, 2009 Author Posted November 25, 2009 Well i don't know if i can call it slutty but it pisses me off that one time we tried to get physical but of course she didn't reciprocate i was the one kissing on her she was just laying there like a log saying "your only hurting yourself" and after she told me to stop she said i did it all wrong and that it was so wrong for us to do that, and that she felt more guilty kissing me than enabling the guy to cheat. we have argued about it in the past and i said "you know whats gonna happen one day you guys are gonna ****" and she said "oh thats how good you know me huh? you think im stupid or something or a slut" and i said "noo i don't think your a slut" "it's not slutty at all" i know i was in denial right there but i wonder if the shoe was on the other foot would it seem so wrong, like let's say she was with a guy i would probably risk gettin my ass kicked. she was just lonely so i guessed she didn't find anyone else attractive except him. she said it was just a physical attraction that's it not emotional. she would always after hanging with me at my house go to his work to see him, pissed me off. so everybody what do you think about this situation?
threebyfate Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 doomage, it sounds to me like you're more angry that she considered you second fiddle, rather than the morality issue. If she would have gone all the way with you, rather than treating you as a friend, would you still be so angry at her? The flipside to this, is that she's some strange chicklet, with the manipulative comments about "you're only hurting yourself" and "you're doing it all wrong". If you're looking for any kind of healthy relationship, rather than a quick lay, my advice to you would be to move on from this girl.
NoIDidn't Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Doomage, sounds like you are really angry that she's just not that attracted to you. I can't call someone a homewrecker because they didn't want to be with me. I can't see why you'd still want to be with her knowing what she is capable of. She is helping a guy cheat on his girlfriend. A person that does this has serious boundary issues. She isn't taking responsibility for her part in this deceptive behavior. Again, a person that does this has issues. She lay there and let you kiss on her even though she didn't want you to. Huge, boundary issues for her. She should have just told you to stop (instead of insulting you about your technique) and YOU SHOULD HAVE STOPPED the moment you knew that your advances weren't wanted. This situation is so messed up and convoluted. She is wrong for helping this guy cheat on his girlfriend. But she's not wrong for not being attracted to you.
Author doomage Posted November 26, 2009 Author Posted November 26, 2009 doomage, it sounds to me like you're more angry that she considered you second fiddle, rather than the morality issue. If she would have gone all the way with you, rather than treating you as a friend, would you still be so angry at her? The flipside to this, is that she's some strange chicklet, with the manipulative comments about "you're only hurting yourself" and "you're doing it all wrong". If you're looking for any kind of healthy relationship, rather than a quick lay, my advice to you would be to move on from this girl. well i didn't treat her as a friend since i fell inlove basically i was her little puppet alwys at her beck and call just to be around her, we hung out every day because of me i was needy and clingy and she was manipulative but i just didn't see it at the time, she put me down sometimes and i really don't know why she let me be intimate like that with her on her own bed when she said she had no attraction for me at all. she is a wierd chick when i asked her why she let me do it she said "because i felt like it" but after 30 minutes of me kissing her neck and rubbing her back (she didn't let me kiss her) she said "that's enough" and proceeded to make me feel like crap by saying i didnt do a good job and she felt dirty and wanted to take a shower since my toungue was on her neck. and basically i am moved on partially because we stopped being friends in late september after me calling her abitch. and me getting angry about this guy and just jealous in general the friendship was alreayd over by then.
Author doomage Posted November 26, 2009 Author Posted November 26, 2009 Doomage, sounds like you are really angry that she's just not that attracted to you. I can't call someone a homewrecker because they didn't want to be with me. I can't see why you'd still want to be with her knowing what she is capable of. She is helping a guy cheat on his girlfriend. A person that does this has serious boundary issues. She isn't taking responsibility for her part in this deceptive behavior. Again, a person that does this has issues. She lay there and let you kiss on her even though she didn't want you to. Huge, boundary issues for her. She should have just told you to stop (instead of insulting you about your technique) and YOU SHOULD HAVE STOPPED the moment you knew that your advances weren't wanted. This situation is so messed up and convoluted. She is wrong for helping this guy cheat on his girlfriend. But she's not wrong for not being attracted to you. Thanks for the input, I know she isn't wrong for not liking me but when we were friends i kept asking myself "why not me, why this guy, she said he was only a friend and he gets to enjoy her kisses atleast" when all i got was like 1 percent of her top lip lol. im not calling her a homewrecker for not being attracted to me i was just wondering in what way is it wrong for her to be doing that with that guy when he has a girlfriend. and she would always tell me "ya i asked him if he would ever tell her and he said no i was kind of shocked' then she said "ya but he's really trying to stop like he prays to god and knows what he's doing isn't right but he says when he's around me he just can't resist me" cuz shes freaking hot bodied cuban girl.never been attracted to a girl this much. i felt like what he told her was bull****. i was just angry he was getting something and i wasn't. she wouldn't even let me kiss her properly she kept moving. but she didn't get mad or anything. my anger for him and her was what killed the friendship and other things, can't do that again. karma will reach both of them though
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