nobmagnet Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 (edited) A Psychopath?"[FONT=Times New Roman][By: Michael G. Conner, Psy.D For most of us the idea of a psychopath conjures up images from movies like "Silence of The Lambs" and characters with names like "Hannibal Lector." Fortunately characters like Hannibal don’t really exist. Serial killers and people involved in ritual torture are rare, but psychopathic behavior is more common than you might think [A psychopath will use people for excitement, entertainment, to build their self-esteem and they invariably value people in terms of their material value (e.g. money, property, comfort, etc..). They can involve and get other people into trouble quickly and they seem to have no regret for their actions. To date there is no checklist of behavior and symptoms that will tell you with certainty whether or not a person is a psychopath. But there are warning signs. The following warning signs are based on my experience but primarily research conducted by Robert Hare, Ph.D - the leading expert on the Psychopathic Personality] ·]deceptive behavior & lying [/sIZE] · conning & manipulative [/sIZE] · ]little remorse or guilt [/sIZE] · ]shallow emotional response [/sIZE] · callous with a lack of empathy [/sIZE] · ]living off others or predatory attitude [/sIZE] · ]poor self-control [/sIZE] · ]promiscuous sexual behavior [/sIZE] ·]early behavioral problems [/sIZE] · lack of realistic long term goals [/sIZE] · ]impulsive lifestyle [/sIZE] · ]irresponsible behavior [/sIZE] · ]blaming others for their actions [/sIZE] · ]short term relationships [/sIZE] ·juvenile delinquency [/sIZE] · ]breaking parole or probation [/sIZE] · ]varied criminal activity [/sIZE] [sIZE=3]The idea that psychopaths eat people is a myth. In reality, a person with a psychopathic personality can lead what appears to be an ordinary life. They can have jobs, get married and they can break the law like anyone else. But their jobs and marriages usually don’t last and their life is usually on the verge of personal chaos. They are almost always in some kind of trouble or they are not far from it.[/sIZE] [sIZE=3]A psychopath is usually a subtle manipulator. They do this by playing to the emotions of others. They typically have high verbal intelligence, but they lack what is commonly referred to as "emotional intelligence". There is always a shallow quality to the emotional aspect of their stories. In particular they have difficulty describing how they felt, why they felt that way, or how others may feel and why. In many cases you almost have to explain it to them. Close friends and parents will often end up explaining to the psychopath how they feel and how others feel who have been hurt by him or her. They can do this over and over with no significant change in the person's choices and behavior. They don't understand or appreciate the impact that their behavior has on others. They do appreciate what it means when they are caught breaking rules or the law even though they seem to end up in trouble again. They desperately avoid incarceration and loss of freedom but continue to act as if they can get away with breaking the rules. They don't learn from these consequences. They seem to react with feelings and regret when they are caught. But their regret is not so much for other people as it is for the consequences that their behavior has had on them, their freedom, their resources and their so called "friends." They can be very sad for their self. A psychopath is always in it for their self even when it seems like they are caring for and helping others. The definition of their "friends" are people who support the psychopath and protect them from the consequence of their own antisocial behavior. Shallow friendships, low emotional intelligence, using people, antisocial attitudes and failure to learn from the repeated consequences of their choices and actions help identify the psychopath. Edited November 25, 2009 by nobmagnet
Author nobmagnet Posted November 25, 2009 Author Posted November 25, 2009 soz about the font stuff as i got bored making it perfect!
waterrat Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 (edited) I was:-) Luckily I got out before it was to late! For more info on this check out "shrink4men" It is authored by a female head DR for and is basically for men, but generally applies to both sexes. Make sure to check out the reader comments below the articles, also recommend checking the "about the author section" and read the comments there. The information I found here was one of the biggest influences on my recovery. Along with a group of friends that supported me through all this. Mostly close female friends, six whom have all experienced long term R/S with these types of people. About 10 years of therapy between them, so luckily I was in good hands:-) Have been reading here for 10 months and I know many people are suffering after experiencing these type of relationships. They ARE harder to recover from! For me the key was to educate myself on the "topic" rather than focus on trying to figure out WTF just happened. It all seems to fall into place once your realize it wasn't you! Edited November 25, 2009 by waterrat
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