billy356 Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Well I am going through a horrific breakup with my gf of 5 yrs (see my previous post for the gory details). I had to serve her with small claims papers before she went on her 3000 mile journey away from me and to her new man. She is required to appear here in court if the issues arent settled so obviously this affects the NC theory as we need to reach a settlement. Is it ok to hand it over to the parents to handle the conversation if they are both willing so that neither one of us has to deal directly with the other side? I know it is way to painful for me to talk to anyone in the other family. I did send a note to her mother right away it said this... ***************** Mary, I am enclosing the mug that you sent Cassie and I when we first opened the cafe and the dollar inside is the one you sent as well. We proudly displayed that mug for all to see and even had a few offers to buy it as well! I know Cassie would have wanted to take it had she remembered it as it was a gift from you. I also wanted a chance to write to you outside of this whole emotional mess we are in together. I wanted to thank you from the deepest parts of my heart for all of the love that you showed me over the years. I wanted to thank you for the times that you helped Cassie and I without question. I wanted to thank you for being there when Cassie needed someone to talk to who wasn't me. I wanted to say that I will always cherish the few times we were able to spend together. You are an amazing women Mary and I will never think any differently. One of the deep sadnesses I feel is the one where I realize I may never see you again. I am sorry that we fell out of contact, I used to enjoy talking with you quite a bit. Congratulations on your recent engagement, I know in my heart that you have found happiness and I do wish you the best of luck. I know you may not hold me in the highest regard right now. Know that I never, ever wanted your daughter to be unhappy. I never wanted to cause you the pain of hearing your daughter in tears because of things I ever said or did. I have always and will always love her. So please forgive me if you decide that I have made any wrongs and know that they were never intentional. You are always free to call me anytime if you want and to talk about anything. I completely understand if you do not wish to. Love Billy ********************** The hope was to get the settlement talks started but also I think I needed to say those things for some reason. I dont know how this played into the NC paradigm as I did not intend for the ex to read it although i bet she did. it did get her mom to email me that same day asking what I was looking for financially in the settlement. So 2 questions; 1) Was the note to the mom a blatant violation of NC or understandable and acceptable? 2) Is it ok for the moms to take over as representatives for us to help us with the NC?
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