Printer Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Although we have been seperated for 10 months, living apart for the last 3. Why does she always want to know what I am up to? I am currently in LC because of our son, yet she always questions him regarding what I'm doing. When I arrange for my son to stop at her's for the night, she always assumes I'm going out drinking and meeting, but mostly it is just for a break, as our son lives with me. I don't understand her logic. She was the one who left me after 24 years together. So why all the questions? Can anybody throw any light!
phineas Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Why did she leave? for my STBXW I caught her lieing, cheating & manipulating me. She left me for OM. She is still with him reguardless of what she claims. Yet she does the same thing. wants to know what i'm doing, where i'm going, where I am when I don't have the kids. If I take a day off she's like "you didn't tell me you were taking the day off" why would I tell her? If I don't normally have the kids it shouldn't matter at all. It's like she doesn't want me to have my own life.
Author Printer Posted November 25, 2009 Author Posted November 25, 2009 Why did she leave? for my STBXW I caught her lieing, cheating & manipulating me. She left me for OM. She is still with him reguardless of what she claims. Yet she does the same thing. wants to know what i'm doing, where i'm going, where I am when I don't have the kids. If I take a day off she's like "you didn't tell me you were taking the day off" why would I tell her? If I don't normally have the kids it shouldn't matter at all. It's like she doesn't want me to have my own life. She called it a day because she felt that I was controlling and belittling her. I thought I was showing my caring side but to her it felt that her opinion didn't count, which is really kind of sad. There is no OM yet, but I'm sure she wont be on her own for too long. She is a really good looking girl and I was the envy of many men, but she is not the outgoing type. It's strange why they want to know everything, maybe it's a case of she don't want me but she don't want nobody else to have me either. I really don't understand women.
GoodDad Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Mine is the same way. She wants her "space" but wants to still have that intimate knowledge of what I am thinking and doing at all times. I don't get it either...
whattodonow12 Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Well, then, she hasn't really let go. She may be having second thoughts and is scared that you will move on without her. Have you asked? If she is still just wanting her space, then let her know that she doesn't have the right to question you. You didn't ask for this, after all.
hopesndreams Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Do not read anything into why she wants to know what you are doing. She just wants to know your business. Don't let it give you false hope.
Cranialrupture Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Plain and simple, she worries that she made the wrong choice and is digging for anything that she can use to justify her actions. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. If whatever she's doing doesn't pan out, she can fall back on you. She's trying to keep you close. Mine is doing the same thing. Most of them do. I told mine, "look, you have your life, I have mine now. What I do is my business, what you do is yours. Your obviously concerned about what I do because I might actually meet someone thats better than you and that I can actually make happy. And that just doesn't jive with your reasons for leaving me. It will just make you more insecure and you will hate me more and hate the new person to try and fill that reasoning. So I am not telling you because, its my business not yours anymore and I will not be a doormat or a back up plan anymore." Plain and simle, they don't want you to do anything because they are insecure about their reasons and jealous at just the idea of you being better off without them. They want to feel as if they made you this great person and by becoming an even better person after they leave goes against all their justification and reasoning.
curiou Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 As infuriating as it is it is human nature for her to want you to pine for you. It gives her a psychological advantage over you. It would probably bother her a bit if you started dating a younger woman. In fact I think you should!
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