DeniseGrooms_poodles Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 I thought I would tell this story of my divorce and the turn of events that followed.... I married the man I honestly wanted to spend the rest of my life with he was attractive funny charming and loveing he was a fast driver he was a major car guy and loved skiing boating cars etc we loved jogging together as well. He always was a flirt and an attractive woman he had known for a long time become involved with him and to my disbelief they were seeing each other he actually told me he wanted a divorce he was leaveing me for this woman that seemed very bossy overbearing and a bit high on herself. I was so devistated that I packed up and left the state after the divorce and begain my new life. I found a nice postion as a loan officer. This was in 2005. This fall I was back to the town where this all happened as I was transferred back here with a raise and promotion so I did not pass this up. Well a few weeks ago I was grocery shopping when saw her, the woman my ex left me for she was walking up the aisle pushing her cart as I approached her I noticed my ex rolling up along beside her in an electric wheelchair I was stunned as I stood thier looking at him all strapped into this wheelchair with a tube at his mouth that he blows into to maneuver the wheelchair. His fast driveing carelessness finally caught up with him he had a bad accident with his speed boat the summer of 2008. He broke his neck at C4 and C5 he had a very very bad C4 break he also broke his collar bone and left shoulder though sadly the C4 injury ended everything for him. He is completely parylyzed from the neck down for the entire rest of his life due to his severe C4 break it will never be possible for him to ever regain any feeling or movement below his head. He is not on a ventilator however. Of course we begain talking and they told me what had happened I was simply shocked I had not spoken with anyone from here since I left and never cared if I heard anything for that matter. She acted like she has changed and for the better she seemed very sweet and I never thought I would say that and he acted different which can be expected with such a life changeing injury I could tell he was sad about being like this yet he seemed to be happy at the same time. After talking to them I found out ironically that his wife works for the same firm I do except at a different branch office. After we spoke a few minutes we went on with our shopping I really felt bad for him as I watched him takeing breaths and blowing into that tube every few seconds moveing his power wheelchair along as he follwed his wife around the store she walked slowly so he could keep up. I was still in disbelief at what had happened. As I was headed out into the parking lot as I watched her lifting him in his wheelchair up into her van with her load cart of groceries setting their I know she has alot to deal with from now on. I then thought to myself how changed thier lives are and for changed for life. I remember the time he broke his right leg skiing and he had to spend weeks in a cast on crutchs the cabin fever and not being about to drive about drove him up a wall and to see him like this for the rest of his life I can only imagine how difficult of a transistion this has been and the permanent cabin fever he has to deal with as well as his wife haveing to deal with him as he adjusts. My heart is broken for him because he is never going to get to do the things he loved ever again he can never drive again or do any of the things he had loved and he will be spending the rest of his life working in software useing a voice activated computer and he always hated being stuck in front of a computer. He will be spending the entire rest of his life sitting in a wheelhchair that he can only move by blowing and sipping on a tube never being able to move anything except for his head. I never thought I would say this but I hope she takes good care of him and I do wish them the best. Myself I feel fine and right now have no plans of a relationship any time soon I love knowing I can get up on Saturday mornings and do my routine jogging or just sit around and paint my nails and take my poodle for walks or go shopping and to estate sales and have fun. I had felt angry with my ex and felt like here he was haveing a great life with this woman while I was left alone. I would have never imagined in a million years that this would have happened to him I am sure he has regrets as well and he will have to live with them. I feel like my life is a good one I have a great job great house and a new car. I never thought I could be happy again after picking up the pieces but I am happy again and to be honest I hope my ex and his wife are happy also as the past is the past and cannot be changed.
nobmagnet Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 oh my how terribly tragic. I am so pleased for you for making a sucess of your life and your message is a good one. ' It is good to forgive, feel sympathy for and ex and you can move on sucessfully' we are all human after all. the pain we feel will fade. My very ex husband (16 years ago) is a very good freind of mine. We have seen each other through lots of mistakes since we split we dont fancy each other but we do have deep respect and affection. Time heals.
Author DeniseGrooms_poodles Posted November 25, 2009 Author Posted November 25, 2009 Thanks and I wish you well also. Time does heal no doubt.
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