My Husband Doesnt Know Why He Looks at Women...

[Lizzie60]

He is just pleased by the sight of big breasts, he could be married to Lizzie here who has huge knockers and he'd still look at other big breasted women.

 

The other issue is this... and I'll be frank here .. unless you have the bone structure of a football player, a size 38 band size on your bra indicates that you could well afford to lose a few pounds, why not put the same energy you've been focusing on your husband into getting to the gym

and following a sensible weight reduction plan? Get your pre-baby body back?

 

 

I agree with the bold part.. he just enjoy the 'look' of beautiful women with big breasts..

 

Let's say (supposition here) that her H was a drop-dead gorgeous guy.. and let's say she enjoys 'looking' at beautiful male bodies... she would get tired of always looking at him.. she would want 'variety' IMO..

 

I don't see anything wrong with this.. honestly..

[WeirdedOut]

Ok finally he admitted he likes them, and I feel 100% better! I was just waiting for him to admitt! I just wanted the truth, that's all, I hate lies, and honestly I am ok with it I don't understand why everyone thinks its the other way around, I guess that's what everyone expects it to be, but he kept readin what everyone was writing and it hurt him that some things were said so he admitted, and he would like to quote, "tall and gorgeous, model material", lol thanks for all the help, imma get me some...

[soserious1]

Ok finally he admitted he likes them, and I feel 100% better! I was just waiting for him to admitt! I just wanted the truth, that's all, I hate lies, and honestly I am ok with it I don't understand why everyone thinks its the other way around, I guess that's what everyone expects it to be, but he kept readin what everyone was writing and it hurt him that some things were said so he admitted, and he would like to quote, "tall and gorgeous, model material", lol thanks for all the help, imma get me some...

 

So.. you and he are both in agreement then, he loves big breasts and you both hate your teeny, tiny tits?

 

Wonderful, glad you could come to an agreement on this issue! I hope you understand you've pushed you and he down a road here that seldom ends anyplace healthy or good.

[WeirdedOut]

All I wanted was truth, I feel better because he admitted, that's al I wanted how is that unhealthy? Wow I mean seriously so he likes big boobs I have small ones, I like muscline guys he's not so what? Can't this be I good turn out why bad?

[soserious1]

All I wanted was truth, I feel better because he admitted, that's al I wanted how is that unhealthy? Wow I mean seriously so he likes big boobs I have small ones, I like muscline guys he's not so what? Can't this be I good turn out why bad?

 

Because you digging at him over this issue was rooted more in how you feel about your breasts than it was by anything your husband was looking at.

 

This week.. you're digging at him repeatedly to admit that he loves big breasts and looking at women who have them... and yeah, your breasts are small, he'd be A okay with things if they got bigger.

 

So now that you've basically turned your breasts into an area of your body that both you and your husband admit doesn't appeal to either of you, What body part will it be next week? you'll notice he turns his head to look at brunettes and you're blond? Perhaps you'll notice all his pics feature petite women and you're 6ft tall? Are you going to dig at him and back him into corners till he admits to you that basically not a single part of your body/appearance is his first preference erotically ?

 

Your husband was looking at pictures of fully clothed women and you used that as an exercise to really indulge in your negative body image and to push him into validating that self image. Be careful here, there is no good that can come from this.

[WeirdedOut]

Ok this has gotten outta hand, I don't think u inderstand what I have been saying first off I was curious as too why he was looking like ya know maybe for moves etc that doesnt bother me, but he told me no and I was like women? And he said no so then we had been suggesting therapy and he told me "himself" that he didn't want to do it because he had no reason to, and he told he had quit which I didn't care it was the fact he lied, then kept it up and use the fact he needed help like there was something wrong, ok so naturally I love him and worried and wanted the best but he kept lieing an wouldn't tell the truth, that gets exhausting trust me, u see I am happy that he's told me the truth, not upset that he likes big boobs and my god who cares if he does like short women?? Petite blonde red whatever, he perfers red by the way which I DON'T CARE, your making curiosity into a bigger issue. Like I said there is always gonna be someone better, and that's ok, who gives a fart, he's with me and he loves me and I don't think anyone wants to see that. I know what kind of women he likes yea so, its the fact he LIED like I have been saying. He admitted now I'm happy and I am very happy for everyone's useful information, have a great day.

[RobM]

He's looking because he enjoys looking, it's usually that simple.

 

He lied because that's the easiest way to get out of trouble, we guys do it most of the time. Most women I know always say, "just tell the truth and I won't be upset". Most guys have tried that once or twice and found out it's complete bull**** and you're in even more trouble if you tell the truth.

 

We hear what you say but we don't believe you, we know lying is almost always leads to the least drama, the least fighting.

 

The whole "it you tell the truth..." is just a cop out by women to make you seem like you're really more reasonable than you are, that way you can make it seem like you would have been ok with the behavior if we just didn't lie about about. However I've done that, I've done things and not lied about it and get in even more trouble.

 

For many things we just don't think it's an issue, we don't see what's wrong with looking at other women as long as we are faithful to our wives or girlfriends so when confronted about it, we know we think it's ok, we know you don't think it's ok, so we lie.

[soserious1]

Ok this has gotten outta hand, I don't think u inderstand what I have been saying first off I was curious as too why he was looking like ya know maybe for moves etc that doesnt bother me, but he told me no and I was like women? And he said no so then we had been suggesting therapy and he told me "himself" that he didn't want to do it because he had no reason to, and he told he had quit which I didn't care it was the fact he lied, then kept it up and use the fact he needed help like there was something wrong, ok so naturally I love him and worried and wanted the best but he kept lieing an wouldn't tell the truth, that gets exhausting trust me, u see I am happy that he's told me the truth, not upset that he likes big boobs and my god who cares if he does like short women?? Petite blonde red whatever, he perfers red by the way which I DON'T CARE, your making curiosity into a bigger issue. Like I said there is always gonna be someone better, and that's ok, who gives a fart, he's with me and he loves me and I don't think anyone wants to see that. I know what kind of women he likes yea so, its the fact he LIED like I have been saying. He admitted now I'm happy and I am very happy for everyone's useful information, have a great day.

 

 

Why would you even bother starting a conversation over pics of fully clothed women let alone backing him into such a corner that your husband lies and says he needs therapy for looking at them?

 

I think you do care, very much, I think your tiny breasts

have bothered you for quite some time and seeing those pictures of beautiful, curvy women who are much more well endowed than you are set you off internally and you transferred all of that insecurity onto him and about actions that can only be viewed as pretty tame.

 

I mean seriously, all this over pictures of fully clothed women?

Edited November 27, 2009 by soserious1

[WeirdedOut]

That's all this was meant for and yes I am alittle insecure of myself, sexual abuse does that to a woman but I'm learning to cope, the lies really hurt and I know men are that way, I've was trying to point that out to him I think it upsets women to a point yes the plain fact is I'm over it and we are happy now, and I never said he didn't like my breasts he does he just like varity just as any man does, women are the same about men, its ok now I understand I was alittle confused, everyone has their edges like for some odd reasons some of ya'll like to keep at this, like I have said we are happy now if u want I can post a youtube video of us explaining what happened and how we feel, happy holidays

[RobM]

I'm confused, yesterday at 9am you post your husband has a serious problem, and today at 10pm, you're all happy and it's been worked out?

[WeirdedOut]

Yes honestly he said he thought he had one u see why I hate lies? Really I'm fine and so is he, he can let everyone know if it really is a problem for ya'll. Because honestly no man looks at women for no reason, unless your gay trying to figure out why, which had crossed my mind, so I was wanting to find out, like I said curiosity killed the cat, I don't like lies, is that so hard to believe?

[RobM]

Ok, this may sound weird, but my husband has a serious problem, we have been at this problem for two years, don't worry, we are going to be seeking help...

 

so I started thinking, ok I am not enough for him now, I confronted him,

 

I started to get mad, these were just women and not porn, I could understand porn, but just women? I was really hating myself for not looking like these beautiful big breasted women (I'm small chested by the way )

 

 

Now I'm wondering why you even posted this if it's all resolved, I'm wondering how much of what you posted is lies. If you were really ok with him him looking you would not have "confronted" him, you would probably have just looked and made some smartass comments like "so, you like bigger boobs?". So what's the truth, you posted this to get everyone to agree how right you are and how scummy guys are and when everyone didn't, now you want to just blow it off and say it's all resolved now that he's told the truth.

 

If you have serious problems and want serious advice fine, but I hate people just toying with me.

[WeirdedOut]

Ok I am really sorry if u took all this the wrong way I didn't mean for anyone to get upset over all this but in truth I just wanted honesty from my husband because he kept telling me he wanted therapy, but we are happy now and that's the god honest truth I can make a youtube video of him explaining everything I put up, he's been reading it I swear I wouldn't do this to start anything I don't understand y ur so upset over this, I am truely sorry if this has bothered u, but I was really wanting advice and it has helped me, it helped my husband tell me the truth and I am happy I just want us to be truthful to each other, isn't that what anyone wants outta of a relationship? Its been 7 years we have been together and this is just one step up to making it better I thank u also for ur advice and I hope that u can except my appolgy for whatever reason made u upset.

[soserious1]

Ok I am really sorry if u took all this the wrong way I didn't mean for anyone to get upset over all this but in truth I just wanted honesty from my husband because he kept telling me he wanted therapy, but we are happy now and that's the god honest truth I can make a youtube video of him explaining everything I put up, he's been reading it I swear I wouldn't do this to start anything I don't understand y ur so upset over this, I am truely sorry if this has bothered u, but I was really wanting advice and it has helped me, it helped my husband tell me the truth and I am happy I just want us to be truthful to each other, isn't that what anyone wants outta of a relationship? Its been 7 years we have been together and this is just one step up to making it better I thank u also for ur advice and I hope that u can except my appolgy for whatever reason made u upset.

 

People aren't "upset" with you, at least I'm not. What I do seriously think here is that you pushed your husband into admitting that he likes something you don't have ie: large breasts.. you pushed him to the point that he lied to you, telling you that he needs therapy, over what? pictures of fully clothed women.

 

You've admitted here to a long standing deep dislike of your breasts, you've now been successful in getting your husband to admit, that yes, he does prefer larger breasts and yes, he was looking at those women because they excite him.... and now you say you're really happy.

 

Lady, unless you have a thing for emotional pain why on earth would you push your husband into such a position

over the tame viewing of pics of fully clothed women.

 

It doesn't take a PH.D to figure out that he was looking at those pictures because he liked what he was seeing, you making this into such a drama really makes me suggest to you that your "curiosity" has more to do with your own negative perceptions of your breasts than it does with anything your husband might have been looking at.

 

You don't want to look at or really think about that idea, that's your choice.

[WeirdedOut]

So your telling me I should be upset about him looking at beautiful women? And that this was just an issue about my boobs, well it had upset me a bit but who wouldn't it? But now I know the truth and I'm good, u can't be perfect but the issue was I didn't want him lieing to me I love him and he loves me and I want everything laid out on the table, I want to understand him fully, yes he's a man so there is some bits that are a little dissapointing but that's everyone, God (if u believe in God) doesn't put anything on your plate that u can't handle, and we are handling it, thanks.

[soserious1]

So your telling me I should be upset about him looking at beautiful women? And that this was just an issue about my boobs, well it had upset me a bit but who wouldn't it? But now I know the truth and I'm good, u can't be perfect but the issue was I didn't want him lieing to me I love him and he loves me and I want everything laid out on the table, I want to understand him fully, yes he's a man so there is some bits that are a little dissapointing but that's everyone, God (if u believe in God) doesn't put anything on your plate that u can't handle, and we are handling it, thanks.

 

 

Why would you need to be told the reason your husband was looking at pictures of beautiful women? I mean seriously, why would you feel the need to literally force

him to explain this, isn't the answer readily discernible?

 

 

Don't you get that the poor man lied to you because he loves you, because you've got small breasts and he knows you're insecure about them, he lied because he obviously didn't want to hurt you or worsen your insecurities.

[WeirdedOut]

It was because he told me he didn't know why!!! This is the start of it y can't u believe that?? I know he loves me. And I see that is why he told me a lie! I just didn't like the lie is all it hurts, but I'm fine now, honestly for like the hundredth time...

[soserious1]

It was because he told me he didn't know why!!! This is the start of it y can't u believe that?? I know he loves me. And I see that is why he told me a lie! I just didn't like the lie is all it hurts, but I'm fine now, honestly for like the hundredth time...

 

 

We all lie.. every single one of us, what he did was a lie of omission, he loves you and knows you are sensitive about your breast size, he didn't feel the need to rub your nose in the fact that he's hardwired to be aroused by a physical attribute that you don't have and cannot easily change unless you've got a spare 10K lying around.

 

You forced your husband into basically agreeing with you that your breasts aren't what he prefers.. good going!

 

So now that you know he's wired to like beautiful women with lush, bouncing, big beautiful breasts, that he's aroused by them, that he prefers big breasts, what exactly do you think that is going to do to improve your sexual life

or your own view of your breasts?

 

Have a good nite.

[JackJack]

WO, I thought you told me on page two, you had let this all go. Here it is a few pages later and you're still trying to explain things. If he confessed to you or admitted what you knew all along, things are fine now right?

[kampfy chair]

Ok, this may sound weird, but my husband has a serious problem, we have been at this problem for two years, don't worry, we are going to be seeking help, I just want to know if anyone has the same problem or know of somebody with the same problem and may know why its happening.Well it all started with me finding pictures on the internet, of just women that my husband had been looking up, so I started thinking, ok I am not enough for him now, I confronted him, he didn't have much to say, only that he would quit. Well needless to say it wasn't that easy. I started to get mad, these were just women and not porn, I could understand porn, but just women? I was really hating myself for not looking like these beautiful big breasted women (I'm small chested by the way ) I tried asking him why he said he didn't know, and that he'd quit again. So I went on believeing him, I got pregnant and ended up have a premature child, almost 4 months preemie, I have aniexty pretty bad so I was sure it was dur to stress as the docs pointed out I stayed in hospital for couple days and baby was good. I went home to find out my husband had look at more women the day our child was born, ok I wanted to leave him, but he said he needed help, I believed him but then he had to go to iraq and it had to wait a year, he comes home and tells me he has changed, its had for me to trust now, I was recently on his phone because mines wasn't working and wanted to look up a youtube video, I came across his history and there it was spelt out, BOOBS, I gave him his phone back and called him liar, he had even swore on our daughters life he had quit, so I asked him why he said he didn't know, I got mad and asked was it because they have things I don't? He said no, I asked him if it got him off, he said no it doesn't even make him hard, so, what does that mean he said he didn't know and wanted to talked to someone that it was in his mind but he didn't know why because he says I m way more prettier he just didn't know why, the women weren't even naked he just looks at them naked or not by themselves and he swears to god he doesn't know why and wants to go talk to someone???? Its hard for me to trust him, any suggestions?

 

Honestly, this whole thing is just so weird to me. I'm honestly more weirded out by your behavior than I am by your husband's. First of all, when you first found out the first thing you did was confront him with the "so I'm not good enough?" question (or so you say in your post) and then you wonder why he lied about being aroused by the women? Of course he is going to lie if you're going to approach it that way! You later claim that you understand that men like to look at women, but if that's the case then why attack him like that when you first found out? Also, I don't understand what the problem was to begin with, other than your own insecurities. If he was doing this all day and neglecting other responsibilities then yes, I can see how you would be upset. But it sounds like he is just doing this occasionally. So what's the problem? Seems like you created this whole situation yourself. Also, two years?? Really? I can't believe you harped on him for that long. Poor guy. No wonder he is having such a hard time dealing with it and sought counseling. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be in a marriage like that.