TapiocaDexterin Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 So my ex and I worked on something together before the breakup, and I need a copy of the files. After 24 days NC I decided to ask for them. I treated it like a business correspondance, brief, to the point and formal. I emailed him rather than contact by phone beacuse as he had asked for NC i thought phone contact would be too intrusive. I got a text message a while later from him saying he got my email, would put the files on a disk and drop it over to my house, and that he hoped I was ok. I replied thanks, i'd appreciate that. let me know what if i owe you anythings re disks/time copying files etc. I wanted to keep it business like.I though he was fishing by saying he hoped i was ok, so i ignored that part. He replied asking did i really think he'd charge me. I said sorry i didnt mean it in a bad way, that i hadnt wanted to be presumptous and that i would appreciate his giving me the files. he said ok, and again siad he hoped i was ok. SORRY THIS IS HIDEOUSLY LONG WINDED GUYS! anyway, after a bit of back and forth I caved and asked if he was ok and if he missed me, (im only human! and weak willed! )to which he yes sometimes. to cut a long stort short, he was pleased to get my email, he missed talking to me and wants us to keep in touch as friends, wants me in his life as a friend, doesnt want to go back to NC BUT would never want to give a relationship a go with me. So I said I'd prefer NC thanks very much. And he is insisting he doesnt want that, but then he said he was irritated by my texts, to which i replied i emailed you so as not to irritate you and you were the one who initiated phone contact, and that if he preferred I wouldn’t ever text him again, after that he completely backed down! he is also insisting he wants to meet me to give me the disk. I told him that to save akwardness he could email the files to me, or post the disk, or pass it through a mutual friend, or drop it off at my house when im not there, but he is insisting he'll give it to me in person. I just dont understand - if he doesnt want to be with me why does he want me in his life at all? why does he want to meet re disk? If he misses talking to me why doesnt he want to give it another go? why did my texts irritate him when he started it and why did he back down straight away when i pointed that out?
Von Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 I hate it when dumpers do this. They can't just be direct can they? What I would pay attention to is that he said he doesn't want you back, just freinds. If that's not what you want don't do it. He could start stringing you along or use you. Don't fall for it like I did. If he wants to open up communication or start over something with you he would show it with actions. When I got my ex back years ago, I found out where she was and showed up and asked for a second chance, and because she was open to it we started over. But she had been missing me too. I was the dumper. At it was many months after our split. Perhaps he wants to meet you to give you the disk to get a boost of his ego. Always take what the dumper says with a grain of salt. Maybe ask camly if there's any other reason why he wants to meet in person. But get some more opinions before deciding.
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