crush

[shadowplay]

There's this guy in my art department who I thought might like me, but I now realize I was probably misreading his intentions.

 

I was thinking of asking him to do something, but I feel like that's just setting myself up for disappointment again.

 

Here's the story...

 

He used to look at me all the time last year when we had a class together. We hardly ever spoke, but I just noticed him...and I guess he noticed me. Then this semester he stopped checking me out.

 

Anyway, about a month and a half ago he asked me to give him some tips on a computer program since he was studying for a certification I had just passed.

 

I emailed him very detailed notes. He never sent a thank you. Then finally a few weeks later i happened to see him at this talk and he struck up a conversation with me. He asked me about the certification and if I was taking the advanced programming class next year (which I presume he's taking).

 

Then he approached me again a week later and asked me to email him more tips since he was nervous about not passing.

 

The next day i sat down at this table in the lounge (there's only one) and he sat down directly across from me and asked me if he'd like him to install the latest version of the program on my computer.

 

I told him sure and offered to go over the tips with him at the same time...but told him I had a class at the moment so I'd need a rain check. We agreed to do it some time next week since we're both around the art building all the time.

 

I didn't run into him again until two weeks later when I was sitting in the same computer lab. he approached me and said he could put the program on my computer. While it was transferring, he stood there waiting awkwardly. Neither of us said anything. I asked him if he still wanted me to go over the tips with him and he said he thought he was good. That was the end of that.

 

Should I try anything or is that too risky?

 

Bear in mind I'm really awkward and shy around him, maybe somewhat unfriendly.

[jerseyboy]

You're a girl?

[shadowplay]

You're a girl?

 

Lol. yes.

 

-------------------------

[shadowplay]

would it be a terrible idea for me to email the guy and ask him if he's interested in having his band play on my music show?

[jerseyboy]

Just ask him out somewhere.

 

If he says no you have your answer.

 

I never understood why people are so frightened of these things.

 

If this is a work environment (im reading two students, maybe im wrong), then thats different.

[shadowplay]

Just ask him out somewhere.

 

If he says no you have your answer.

 

I never understood why people are so frightened of these things.

 

If this is a work environment (im reading two students, maybe im wrong), then thats different.

 

 

Yeah we're students but i'm concerned about the awkwardness of seeing him all the time around if he declines. I can't decide.

[jerseyboy]

He's a boy. Youre a girl

 

And asking someone of they want to grab dinner, or hit a club, one day is nothing to be awkward about.

 

Its only awkward whgen someone keeps pursuing you when you show no interest afterwards.

 

When someone asks me out I dont read it shes in love and wants to jump me, just that she wants to get to know me better etc

 

Its flattering

[shadowplay]

He's a boy. Youre a girl

 

And asking someone of they want to grab dinner, or hit a club, one day is nothing to be awkward about.

 

Its only awkward whgen someone keeps pursuing you when you show no interest afterwards.

 

When someone asks me out I dont read it shes in love and wants to jump me, just that she wants to get to know me better etc

 

Its flattering

 

I'm really shy and I guess I still have this high school mentality that if a guy figures out I like him he'll run for the hills or be totally weirded out. I know I'm not ugly or repulsive but I've had some bad experiences trying to approach guys.

[threebyfate]

shadow, when you put someone at ease, it really helps the process. I sincerely think you need to practice IRL with talking to people, engaging them in light and funny conversation. Talk to everyone and anyone you can, while grocery shopping, buying clothes, getting your lunch, etc. The reason I mention shopping, etc., is that retail people lean more towards extroverted natures. It might help to get that pattern of patter down by absorbing it through osmosis, while at the same time, gaining more confidence in your conversational skills.

 

I honestly wouldn't practice with someone you're interested in, since you tend to take rejection to heart.

[shadowplay]

shadow, when you put someone at ease, it really helps the process. I sincerely think you need to practice IRL with talking to people, engaging them in light and funny conversation. Talk to everyone and anyone you can, while grocery shopping, buying clothes, getting your lunch, etc. The reason I mention shopping, etc., is that retail people lean more towards extroverted natures. It might help to get that pattern of patter down by absorbing it through osmosis, while at the same time, gaining more confidence in your conversational skills.

 

I honestly wouldn't practice with someone you're interested in, since you tend to take rejection to heart.

 

Yeah, I think you're right.

 

Something in my gut feels that making a move on him would be the wrong approach. It seems to be repeating old mistakes. I think it would be different if we had built up an easy rapport. But somehow it seems self-defeating.

 

Earlier today I made a pact with my best friend that I'm going to try to completely change my outward self by taking risks and faking confidence until I actually feel it.

[jerseyboy]

I'm really shy and I guess I still have this high school mentality that if a guy figures out I like him he'll run for the hills or be totally weirded out. I know I'm not ugly or repulsive but I've had some bad experiences trying to approach guys.

 

 

I dont see it, but I understand people feel that way. But I was pretty much always the one of my friends in charge of approaching groups of women when we were out, so I never really had that hang up.

 

Creepy and weird is girls you never even dated telling other girls they slept with you already to get rid of the competition.

[Curious-One]

by the looks of it he seems like he does like you or else he wouldnt keep approaching u. It seems like hes trying to find a conversation to start with u... I just think he is inexperienced and i would recommend you ask him out. Whats the worst that can happen...him saying no..?

[shadowplay]

I dont see it, but I understand people feel that way. But I was pretty much always the one of my friends in charge of approaching groups of women when we were out, so I never really had that hang up.

 

Creepy and weird is girls you never even dated telling other girls they slept with you already to get rid of the competition.

 

Wow, that's actually happened to you?

[threebyfate]

Yeah, I think you're right.

 

Something in my gut feels that making a move on him would be the wrong approach. It seems to be repeating old mistakes. I think it would be different if we had built up an easy rapport. But somehow it seems self-defeating.

 

Earlier today I made a pact with my best friend that I'm going to try to completely change my outward self by taking risks and faking confidence until I actually feel it.

I wouldn't say that approaching him is the wrong approach but before you do so, get some practice with your conversational skills. It's self-defeating to know you get tongue-tied and then to have it happen, just makes a person beat themselves up even worse, afterwards.

 

Get out there and start to chat. It's much easier when you have zero interest in someone, and they grunt in response. You just shrug it off thinking "grump" and then move onto the next person.

[jerseyboy]

Wow, that's actually happened to you?

 

 

Several times that I know. Who knows what people say that you dont hear about.

 

Even at my graduation I ran into a girl I had really liked around my sophomore year, who came up to hug and exchange grats. I knew her for about a week, she was a lib arts student so we didnt cross paths much afterwards. But she went from hot to cold so quick, I always suspected someone had said something to her. She told me she had a huge crush on me then, but this girl Beatta had told her I slept with her and asked her to stay away lol. I f'ig new it to that she had done something like that.

 

Another girl I dont know why she had lied. It made no sense., It got back to my gf and I heard it from her. I ran into her at the Jersey Shore like 3 years later in a club, and she came up and apologized for having said it.

[shadowplay]

After much deliberation, I finally sent him a friendly, short email thanking him for the software update and asking whether he wanted to grab coffee some time.

 

I've never done this before. Either I've done nothing or I've gone to the other extreme where I've come on way too hard. Given the way these things usually go for me I'm not expecting a response from him, so I don't think I'll be crushed if I don't get one.

 

I guess I'm concerned about things being awkward when I see him if he turns me down or ignores my email, but then again I have nothing to be embarrassed about. My email wasn't creepy or weird.

[Ariadne]

After much deliberation, I finally sent him a friendly, short email thanking him for the software update and asking whether he wanted to grab coffee some time.

 

I've never done this before. Either I've done nothing or I've gone to the other extreme where I've come on way too hard. Given the way these things usually go for me I'm not expecting a response from him, so I don't think I'll be crushed if I don't get one.

 

I guess I'm concerned about things being awkward when I see him if he turns me down or ignores my email, but then again I have nothing to be embarrassed about. My email wasn't creepy or weird.

 

Cool, cool.

 

Now I'm curious to know what happens.

 

And if he doesn't answer not much loss. I mean, who is this guy anyway.

 

Good luck.

[burning 4 revenge]

My email wasn't creepy or weird.

You expect us to believe that?

[burning 4 revenge]

Several times that I know. Who knows what people say that you dont hear about.

 

Even at my graduation I ran into a girl I had really liked around my sophomore year, who came up to hug and exchange grats. I knew her for about a week, she was a lib arts student so we didnt cross paths much afterwards. But she went from hot to cold so quick, I always suspected someone had said something to her. She told me she had a huge crush on me then, but this girl Beatta had told her I slept with her and asked her to stay away lol. I f'ig new it to that she had done something like that.

 

Another girl I dont know why she had lied. It made no sense., It got back to my gf and I heard it from her. I ran into her at the Jersey Shore like 3 years later in a club, and she came up and apologized for having said it.

Wow thats crazy

 

Ive had just the opposite happen. Where I told lots of people I slept with a girl that I hadn't to see if that would make her want to sleep with me.

 

Didnt work though

[SadandConfusedWA]

Yay good luck shadowplay! Please keep us updated.

[jerseyboy]

Wow thats crazy

 

Ive had just the opposite happen. Where I told lots of people I slept with a girl that I hadn't to see if that would make her want to sleep with me.

 

Didnt work though

 

 

LOL, you told people you slept with someone, hoping it would get back to her, and that upon hearing of it she might want to sleep with you?

 

Shocking it didnt work.

 

The worst was one girl in my dorm who lied. Because if you think about it if you faux slept with someone else, then you also had to faux dump them and rub it in their face by being with someone else. So now girls you dont even know are giving you nasty looks for hurting someone you never did anyone to.

[Ody]

Wow thats crazy

 

Ive had just the opposite happen. Where I told lots of people I slept with a girl that I hadn't to see if that would make her want to sleep with me.

 

Didnt work though

 

I've always wondered why dudes make weird s**t like that up and now I know. Thx.

[shadowplay]

Good news. Got a response from him:

 

Hey!

Coffee would be cool. What're you doing in the next few days? I actually haven't done the test yet. Probably will in about a week or so. But yeah, my number is --------------, totally give me a call!

[jerseyboy]

Good news. Got a response from him:

 

Hey!

Coffee would be cool. What're you doing in the next few days? I actually haven't done the test yet. Probably will in about a week or so. But yeah, my number is --------------, totally give me a call!

 

nanananana

 

He likes you

 

Shadow and Art Boy sitting in a tree...

[threebyfate]

Hey, that is good news. Relax and enjoy!