BLood testing

[oxfordsocks]

Does anyone know of any employee at a hospital that would have to go through regular blood screening? I have never questioned this before till i saw something on yahoo.

 

My married man explained to me that his wife worked at a hospital in the UK--she is an auxiliary nurse and he said she is exposed to blood and was tested regularly---when we ended the relationship back in the summer he did get tested and provided me with the results oh his STd test anyway.

 

I never really questioned what he said as i don't know hospital protocal but now--this has raised some red flags for me---as why would he say that (and if that is false ) than what else is?

[whattodonow12]

I was in HR at a hospital, and while it is possible it is not standard practice in the U.S. The nurse in question would have to be in very risky surroundings, other than the possibility of just being exposed to blood.

[oxfordsocks]

thank you for your response--i forgot to say she works in ENGLAND-

[AppleGirl]

Not standard practice in Canada either.

I am a med/surg nurse and am exposed to blood, platelets and other blood products daily. We are never routinely tested for anything. What for? We wear gloves when handling blood and blood products.

 

Unless we have some sort of needlestick injury, there is no reason to be tested regularly....I would question that, if I were you. What was she supposedly being tested for?

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Not standard practice in Canada either.

I am a med/surg nurse and am exposed to blood, platelets and other blood products daily. We are never routinely tested for anything. What for? We wear gloves when handling blood and blood products.

 

Unless we have some sort of needlestick injury, there is no reason to be tested regularly....I would question that, if I were you. What was she supposedly being tested for?

 

Same here in the US. Needle sticks are the only thing we are tested for, and that gets you a mark on your record.

[oxfordsocks]

he just said she was regularly(every 3 months exactly he said) as she was exposed to a lot of stuff-it sounds like she is what they call a bank nurse--(not an RN) who do all the crappy stuff--onhands nursing--like our nursing assistants. She does not have one particular ward she works on she fills in all the time. I didn't ask many questions to him---as just didn't know at the time.. and like i said i didn't think to much about it till i saw a recent post on yahoo

He provided me with all the information from his test--a number and time of his appointment- a reference number etccc that my husband could call to get the results(as they don't give you written results unless something shows positive)

I am tempted to call a hospital in uk to find out if anything like this practice of blood testing exists

He may have told me this "initially" to try to confirm that he would be clean as if his wife was than i guess his point he would be.

 

the reason this all concerns me is that i intially emailed his wife when the affair ended--as it seemed to end very quickly --I sent a message on facebook the day he ended things--i got scared -

He said a while ago(as we are back in contact) that he thought i might contact his wife---and deleted some personal email contacts on a website that he uses through a hobby club.

I then thought if he thought of that then maybe he monitored her facebook account for a possible email(i sent that email within an hour of him dumping me) I sent it to confirm sexual contact within that three month window(as if there wasnt any --and she was testing clean at work--than i felt safe. My sister was the one who said--maybe he wrote the email back pretending to be her. If this was the case though I am sure he would have (as her) denied any physical contact but the email didnt--it confirmed a few times they were together in a 3 month time period--although i must admit the way she counted 3 mnths was strange--she counted the times she was on her period--and the times he was away on business as not included in the three months count) very bizarre--sorry to ramble on-needless to say I demanded a std test then. I think he could have easily told me no and to F-off but he didn't he got everythng done.Perhaps he thought if he didn't i would be like a Fatal Attraction.

[norajane]

I'm sorry, I couldn't make sense of your last paragraph.

 

What, specifically, are you worried about? That the MM you were having an affair with might have given you an STD? Have you been tested?

[WalkInThePark]

I am in Belgium and I have a friend who is a doctor (in a hospital) and she gets tested regularly.

[OWoman]

Does anyone know of any employee at a hospital that would have to go through regular blood screening? I have never questioned this before till i saw something on yahoo.

 

My married man explained to me that his wife worked at a hospital in the UK--she is an auxiliary nurse and he said she is exposed to blood and was tested regularly---when we ended the relationship back in the summer he did get tested and provided me with the results oh his STd test anyway.

 

I never really questioned what he said as i don't know hospital protocal but now--this has raised some red flags for me---as why would he say that (and if that is false ) than what else is?

 

In my home country this would be illegal - blood testing requires informed consent, and it can hardly be that if it is under duress (which, given the employment situation, would be implicit - a positive result could see your dismissal / demotion...) but I accept that here in the UK there is less of a human rights culture.

 

That said, my SIL is an A&E nurse (here in the UK) and she's never mentioned this, even when discussion about having blood drawn came up. I can't honestly see the rationale for it - is it for the protection of the health workers, or the patients? What about window periods, when tests can be negative but the person still infectious? What about a positive result - would that imply that , say, an HIV+ health worker would not be allowed around patients (a clear human rights violation, IMO)? What would the point be? Surely, as it is in the civilised world, the best practice model is to assume that everyone is infectious, and to rule out as far as is humanly possible the possibility for transmission? Yes, there can still be slips, but those are routinely treated (ARVs, antibiotics, whatever is appropriate) in such cases.

 

This strikes me as a convenient fiction at worst, or at best a cop-out - even if she WAS routinely tested every 3 months, how does that let HIM off the hook? It is possible, however unusual, for someone to be infectious without seroconverting. Nor does HIS status let the OW off the hook - baseline, if you're having sex, you should get tested, regularly. Relying on a partner - especially a partner KNOWN to have had more than one partner during the period of exposure - is a dangerous gamble. I wouldn't trust my sexual health to someone else so blithely!

[LucreziaBorgia]

I would especially insist on testing since he is on AFF.

[fooled once]

Does anyone know of any employee at a hospital that would have to go through regular blood screening? I have never questioned this before till i saw something on yahoo.

 

My married man explained to me that his wife worked at a hospital in the UK--she is an auxiliary nurse and he said she is exposed to blood and was tested regularly---when we ended the relationship back in the summer he did get tested and provided me with the results oh his STd test anyway.

 

I never really questioned what he said as i don't know hospital protocal but now--this has raised some red flags for me---as why would he say that (and if that is false ) than what else is?

 

I am not sure I understand the question.

 

I do know that hospital employees do have to do blood screening. Not sure how often but if there is a finger prick or exposure to blood, there is definitely a requirement to have a blood test done.

 

I am really confused --- why does this matter now? Are you trying to find out if he had lied about an STD test? If it is over with him, what does it matter now if she had regular testing? Sorry, but I am just not understanding...

Edited November 26, 2009 by fooled once

[oxfordsocks]

This was an inital statement about the blood testing when we met initally or second time--I had been tested and i had told him--he had been in marriage for 19 years and did say his wife was tested at hospital everythree months.

when we "broke up" and i contacted his spouse he did get tested--i verified the testing facility and results were given over the phone to my husband who called.

a file reference number was given etcc..

The spouse in the email confirmed she did work at a hospital--but she never did say every three months but that she would ensure the testing was done as it was important for her too too move forward.

(although i do know that they slept together within the week that she found out about us and before the results were done) I guess she was just as dumb as i was!! Unless she used a condom--which i am guessing not as i am sure married man would have told me about that.

Anyways I called a local hospital to where he lives and spoke with a nursing manager about blood testing and she confirmed that this 3 months testing would not be normal unless she had recently got a hepatitis/and HIV vaccine

I am not sure why he said this(i can assume) or he just didn't really understand what actual testing she was getting or procedures. I have been tested and so far am safe.

also if he wanted to avoid testing or whatever--when we broke up he could have dropped contact with me--and told me to go get my own testing-but he didn't he followed through. I feel better and now--i want to ask him specificially why he told me this to begin with.

[LucreziaBorgia]

From reading this, I'm not sure why the wife's testing is important to you. Seriously, I would be far more concerned with his testing, since he is active on Adult Friend Finder. There would be no way I would trust him, since you can't predict what his other AFF friends do or do not have or what they do when he is not with you. His wife is the ultimate victim in this. She is married (and presumably monogamous with) a man who is active on AFF and has multiple lovers. If anyone is going to get screwed here unjustifiably it will be her. I feel horrible for her, actually.

 

Don't get me wrong, I feel badly for anyone who is putting themselves at risk by being with this philanderer, but they at the very least are aware they are taking the risk!

[oxfordsocks]

when i first started talking to this person--he showed me the screen on his computer --showing me as one of three friends(i could also see this in his profile)

When he was talking to me--sometimes i had about 10 or so people at once talking to me---and i had about 20 some odd friends.

I only ever met this person

I was approached by numerous to "hook" up--but didn't camming was sufficient

When i looked at this person's profile they had three friends(all of which who actually lived in Ontario like me-I happened to have a few Uk friends on my friend list too.

I guess it is important to me to really put all the pieces together --i am almost trying to find lies and deception---and I really don't see any(he could have not understood how the blood test works-or she could have got it done in past .

I want to find concrete evidence of a lie and multiple deception but I just can't find anything tangible. He tells me everything--doesn't criticize his wife-we talk everyday -and even my husband keeps telling me --if he is lying to you--than that is so much effort for what?? Seeing him every few months(its now been 5 and we still talk endlessly everyday) He doesn't say he doesn't sleep with his wife--they sleep in same beds--they have sex infrequently--last time was Sept 11 --one day I didn't leave any messages for him--I actually had a bad cold but I left laptop on and watched him leave 10 messages for me throughoout the day -and sign on even more often looking to see if i had left him messages-checking for me

worrying about me... Is this a philanderer?? Yes i know we are both married. He has told he brother about me-his wife apparently knows and we had to go out of contact for a bit (nightly) as she found his yahoo account on his phone--she found a text also from me on his phone--she stayed up late everyngith with him so he didn't go on computer to talk to me(this is now letting up and we are back to evening conversation-because of UK time change for us)(I live in Canada) Due to our circumtances he can't just get up and leave his family-its leaving a country-there are kids to consider(employemnt) visa etc..When his daughter has adjusted a little more to school--he wants to leave with his family taken care of and a clear conscience--doing it the right way. I read his emails to me from my husband and he believes that this guy is really legitamate and torn

I am trying tohave my eyes wide open

I see not too many good stories here--but is there not the possibility--that just as I never ever would have found myself on that AFF site but did

that he too found a fix for abit-we both were on the site for only 6 weeks tops

And the rest really is history.

Am I so blindly in love that i just can't see the bad(because I am really trying to find it).Can it be that we really just truely found something heartbreakingly wonderful that we just have to wait for all the pieces to fall into place while creating the least hurt in marriages that we both know are not fulfilling us

I have looked over conversations in yahoo and things are always consistent.

Yes it bothers me that he is still sharing the same bed with his wife--i am not --but we have the space here--and kids have been aware of issues for quiet some time. He on the other hand would have to sleep on the couch and they are more introverted in their issues(in general about everything with kids--not a very open family)

If i need a shake -give it to me--but if you need to --give me some reasons to end all this.

Let me know how to determine and false from real if i have too.

I am so afraid of being taken but at the same time I too was on that site-I too had my issues---and I don't want to miss out on something that could be the most rewarding relationship because of distrust and innuendo.

ty

[OWoman]

Am I so blindly in love that i just can't see the bad(because I am really trying to find it).Can it be that we really just truely found something heartbreakingly wonderful that we just have to wait for all the pieces to fall into place while creating the least hurt in marriages that we both know are not fulfilling us

 

Oxford, it's not the "lies and deception" bit that bothers me (maybe there are, maybe there aren't) about this R. For me, the alarm bells are ringing very loudly for other reasons - you are both in low, depressed and desperate states. You are clinging to some hope that this R is going to be the silver bullet that puts your life on track - as is he. That is not a healthy R - that is co-dependence, albeit mutual.

 

If this was a guy down the road that you simply used for a couple of weeks to get you out of a blue fug, that would be one thing - but what you're proposing here is for two families to split, one person to cross the entire planet to become financially dependent on the other (while still having dependents on him on the other side of the planet). These are pretty large-scale changes, involving a number of people (kids included) for what could turn out to be very short-lived indeed, given all the circumstances. It worries me that once you are well again - completely over the depression, back to your healthy best - you might look back at the decisions you made in your impaired condition and think, WTF was I thinking! If you were making these choices in a sae, sober and healthy state of mind, from a position of strength, I'd say go ahead if that's really what you want to do (with some caveats and provisos in place ) but you're not, and neither is he. You're desperate for a knight in shining armour; and he - unemployed, overwhelmed and feeling diminished - is thrilled at the chance to play one, especially since he will be taken care of in the process.

 

I'm sorry I can't be more upbeat about the prospects...

[oxfordsocks]

In my home country this would be illegal - blood testing requires informed consent, and it can hardly be that if it is under duress (which, given the employment situation, would be implicit - a positive result could see your dismissal / demotion...) but I accept that here in the UK there is less of a human rights culture.

 

That said, my SIL is an A&E nurse (here in the UK) and she's never mentioned this, even when discussion about having blood drawn came up. I can't honestly see the rationale for it - is it for the protection of the health workers, or the patients? What about window periods, when tests can be negat without seroconverting. Nor does HIS status let the OW off the hook - baseline, if you're having sex, you should get tested, regularly. Relying on a partner - especially a partner KNOWN to have had more than one partner during the period of exposure - is a dangerous gamble. I wouldn't trust my sexual health to someone else so blithely!

 

 

I slipped asking about his wifes blood testing in a conversation we were having about what we considered the most riskiest professions.

 

he said that these tests are not mandatory and that she only did it when she was floating in the hospital and dealing with transients etc....and that they were not mandatory--but employees could get them but no frequently than every three months.

 

she is now on a ward(same ward and doesn't get them any more)

[justforfun]

I'm originally from the UK and he's lying. My mother is a qualified RN and despite knowing myself I have checked with her. There are no routing blood tests for hospital employees.

 

Check out this link

 

And you will see that she is responsible for the following:

 

The types of duties include the following:

 

• Washing and dressing
  
• Feeding
  
• Helping people to mobilise
  
• Toileting
  
• Bed making
  
• Generally assisting with patients overall comfort
  
• Monitoring patients conditions by taking temperatures, pulse, respiration's and weight
  

Not much need for any blood tests there.

 

 

Does anyone know of any employee at a hospital that would have to go through regular blood screening? I have never questioned this before till i saw something on yahoo.

 

My married man explained to me that his wife worked at a hospital in the UK--she is an auxiliary nurse and he said she is exposed to blood and was tested regularly---when we ended the relationship back in the summer he did get tested and provided me with the results oh his STd test anyway.

 

I never really questioned what he said as i don't know hospital protocal but now--this has raised some red flags for me---as why would he say that (and if that is false ) than what else is?

 

He's a MM having an affair why would you consider anything he says to be truthful?