why do i cling onto WAH as he used to b?

[nobmagnet]

I just dont get it. My ex emotionally left me and the kids 2 years ago. He was distant non communiative and snappy for 2years. He was nasty to me and put me down to the point I lost my identity, my self worth and self respect. He was short tempered with our beutiful fun loving kids and it was always easier when he was away on business.

 

WHY THE HELL DO I STILL MISS HIM???? Why on earth would I drop my draws to have him back even though he has put us through such a hard time? Why Can I only remember the time we had before he turned into a twat? I get so cross with myself when the facts speak for them selves and I should be releived he has gone?

 

its confusing does anyone else feel this way?

 

neet x:o

[red_cloud]

He was nasty to me and put me down to the point I lost my identity, my self worth and self respect.

 

Have you gained any of this back?

 

I think, from reading too many psych books, often people with low self esteem secretly long for situation that re-affirm their point of view.

 

I bet you that that if you focused on your self worth and self respect, you'd realize after a while what a jerk he was and actually feel sorry for him for being so useless to society and cringe at how stupid you were for wasting so much time on him rather than long for him.

[nobmagnet]

you speak total truth. sorry i felt annoyed with the "fact" and Fiction of our life together. I am getteng back some self worth and respect by realising it was not all me as he said. It was him that put me down and I didnt deserve it.I am a nice person I would never go out of my way to hurt another and he did because he hadnt the maturity to say something was not right 2 years ago. I put he temper and nastyness down to stress at work not me. I didnt realise it was me because he didnt tell me. I still to this day dont know why he was un happy with me. I gave him everything to the point I had nothing left. Maybe this was my downfall. I didnt fight he when he was nasty I just tried to smooth it over. god I just dont bloody know!!

 

silly me xx

[red_cloud]

Its important to learn how to set and enforce boundaries, in any relationship. A part of the reason why you still feel bad is perhaps because you feel like you gave so much with nothing in return - that you are mad at yourself for letting yourself be treated that way.. if that makes sense.

[nobmagnet]

it makes total sence. He was a kinda phycopath to an extent. I never had intentions of a long term relationship with him at the beginning we just had a lot of fun. He never felt committed to me but I became pregnant which was not planned. He and his family were thrilled and persuaded me that he was a gentleman and never let me down ( i have been in the past) so i took a chance. I did love him and enjoy his company so I had to take the risk. He was pretty good but easily distracted and unreliable allalong but i said it was his excentricities. So I made allowences. but it got worse. he didnt like the noise the kids made, the mess they made, the fact they were excitable (happy kids) so I had to keep them away from him when he was home. i recon thats when i started to give too much and should hve got marriage guidance for the initial problems........4 years on he backed off even further and then 2 years after that........today.

 

sucks

[red_cloud]

This guy sounds like the biggest loser EVER. Honestly, I want to slap you for thinking you don't deserve better. Even the worst women in the world deserves better than that.

 

Seriously.. please go look in the mirror and slap yourself for me.

[nobmagnet]

my cheeks are red

 

thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 he is a wank ker let his knob drop off hee hee

 

xxxxxxxxx

[nobmagnet]

no seriously i feel better.

 

he is a pillock and i know it but i still have silly feelings of the fun we had. fun is fine but he didnt cope with fatherhood or a long term relationship and never will i recon

 

xxxxxxxxxxxx