Phateless Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 No you aren't annoyed.. just busy. She is starting to miss the fact that you are not around as much anymore it seems. Now you need to be seen flirting with other girls and then its up to her.. she can either realize what she had, realizes and expresses feelings for you.. just acts like a happy friend who supports you or follows the other girls to the bathroom and drowns them all in the toilets in an ill conceived attempt to redirect your attention back to her. Either way maintain your position.. She needs to realize that if she spurs your affections.. you will look elsewhere and that means less time and attention for her. She will either go out of her way to bring you back to her or you may actually meet someone and stop fawning all over this girl. Bingo. If she doesn't want to be your girlfriend, it's completely unfair for her to expect you to act like her boyfriend.
Author agentsmith Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 yeah, we generally hang out in the same places, and I bumped into her at a nightclub. Didn't really talk to her, even though she kept asking, "Can we talk?" I was dancing with some other girls, she wasn't too happy, it seemed. She wasn't really dancing much herself, usually she does.
Yukikazi Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 yeah, we generally hang out in the same places, and I bumped into her at a nightclub. Didn't really talk to her, even though she kept asking, "Can we talk?" I was dancing with some other girls, she wasn't too happy, it seemed. She wasn't really dancing much herself, usually she does. You're showing disinterest.. not ignoring her.. fine line here. When she has you face to face in a bar or club. give her about 5-10 minutes.. give her a time constraint.. like sure but i gotta get back to my friends then excuse yourself in 5-10 minutes and resume socializing. You don't want to ignore her.. bruising her isn't the intention here. Next time something like this occurs and she is playing wallflower.. go talk to her for a bit (in an unobtrusive corner.. you want privacy) If she is more responsive to your attention and affection.. excellent.. if not.. make her laugh a few times then wander off and find someone more exciting. You don't want to spend too long with her cause you are a social person and have others to chat with and more girls to flirt with. Flirt with her a bit.. show her that she is welcome to the same flirting attention you are giving other girls.. so long as she is responsive to it. If she isn't.. you wont waste your time and energy flirting with her. 1
Author agentsmith Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 (edited) You're showing disinterest.. not ignoring her.. fine line here. When she has you face to face in a bar or club. give her about 5-10 minutes.. give her a time constraint.. like sure but i gotta get back to my friends then excuse yourself in 5-10 minutes and resume socializing. You don't want to ignore her.. bruising her isn't the intention here. Next time something like this occurs and she is playing wallflower.. go talk to her for a bit (in an unobtrusive corner.. you want privacy) If she is more responsive to your attention and affection.. excellent.. if not.. make her laugh a few times then wander off and find someone more exciting. You don't want to spend too long with her cause you are a social person and have others to chat with and more girls to flirt with. Flirt with her a bit.. show her that she is welcome to the same flirting attention you are giving other girls.. so long as she is responsive to it. If she isn't.. you wont waste your time and energy flirting with her. I'm going to see her again tonight probably, we have the same circle of friends and we are all getting together to celebrate someone's birthday. Should I show any interest or not? Our offices are pretty close by, which is why she keeps asking about meeting for lunch, etc. Maybe I've refused too many times? Edited December 2, 2009 by agentsmith
Yukikazi Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 I'm going to see her again tonight probably, we have the same circle of friends and we are all getting together to celebrate someone's birthday. Should I show any interest or not? Our offices are pretty close by, which is why she keeps asking about meeting for lunch, etc. Maybe I've refused too many times? Don't show overt interest unless she does first.. then you are showing about 75% of her interest lvl. But be friendly.. not standoffish.. give her a hug when you say hi.. chat with her.. touch her a bit.. see if she is mirroring your actions. If she is.. continue escalating. If not, go socialize.. you want to give her attention but if there is a group you want to give the other girls just a bit more.. this should entice her jealously.. cause girls what what they can't have.. hence why ppl that have SO's report a strange increase in opposite gender attraction when it becomes known they are off the market. If she is much more receptive.. then its on like donkey kong. If she is the same.. then you are simply being friends and nothing more.. she gets no special attention.. thats reserved for potential partners. 1
Phateless Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 I'm going to see her again tonight probably, we have the same circle of friends and we are all getting together to celebrate someone's birthday. Should I show any interest or not? Our offices are pretty close by, which is why she keeps asking about meeting for lunch, etc. Maybe I've refused too many times? You should reward her interest by showing interest back, if that makes sense. You're basically setting up the dynamic of moving toward a relationship. Don't blow her off, just don't try as hard as you used to. Don't show overt interest unless she does first.. then you are showing about 75% of her interest lvl. But be friendly.. not standoffish.. give her a hug when you say hi.. chat with her.. touch her a bit.. see if she is mirroring your actions. If she is.. continue escalating. If not, go socialize.. you want to give her attention but if there is a group you want to give the other girls just a bit more.. this should entice her jealously.. cause girls what what they can't have.. hence why ppl that have SO's report a strange increase in opposite gender attraction when it becomes known they are off the market. If she is much more receptive.. then its on like donkey kong. If she is the same.. then you are simply being friends and nothing more.. she gets no special attention.. thats reserved for potential partners. Yep, this is dead-on. As long as she's being receptive to your attention/affection, you keep going. Every so often you may want to back off a shade, just to make sure you're not pushing her too far too fast. Now that she's showing more interest, set up a date. Make it fun, be affectionate, and no matter what - KISS HER AT THE END.
Yukikazi Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 Yep, this is dead-on. As long as she's being receptive to your attention/affection, you keep going. Every so often you may want to back off a shade, just to make sure you're not pushing her too far too fast. Now that she's showing more interest, set up a date. Make it fun, be affectionate, and no matter what - KISS HER AT THE END. Not necessarily going too fast.. but leaning back a tad.. you need to pull back every now and then to see if she leans forward to bridge the gap. Yes.. if she is receptive you should be finding a spare bedroom.. or at the very least.. kissing. If she shows increased interest and you don't pull the trigger... 1
sugar_and_spice Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 Now that she's showing more interest, set up a date. Make it fun, be affectionate, and no matter what - KISS HER AT THE END. Yes, set up a date if she shows interest at the party tonight. And do chat with her for a while, don't completely ignore her. I am not sure if if I'd advise you to kiss her at the end though!
sugar_and_spice Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 (edited) finding a spare bedroom.. . not so soon! Edited December 2, 2009 by sugar_and_spice
Yukikazi Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 not so soon! Why the hell not? If she is receptive and they are both "up" for it.. She could do a 180 and end up pawing the OP all night trying to get his clothes off.. and you say not so soon? You realize with all this buildup.. if he hesitates at the wrong time.. poof all gone. He must be ready to pull the trigger if and when the time arrives.
Phateless Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 not so soon! That advice is for HER. That advice puts HER in control. We're giving HIM advice.
aaron12 Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 if she agrees to sleep with him, why the hell not?
sugar_and_spice Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Why the hell not? If she is receptive and they are both "up" for it.. She could do a 180 and end up pawing the OP all night trying to get his clothes off.. and you say not so soon? You realize with all this buildup.. if he hesitates at the wrong time.. poof all gone. He must be ready to pull the trigger if and when the time arrives. it seems unlikely that she would initiate it when on one hand she says she's not interested in him. if he initiates, she might take in the wrong way.
VeveCakes Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 if she agrees to sleep with him, why the hell not? Don't get the poor kids hopes up.
Yukikazi Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Don't get the poor kids hopes up. Better to be prepared for any eventuality then to be caught unprepared
aaron12 Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 vevecakes, none of us can know what this girl is thinking/feeling. but judging from her behaviour, I feel that things could turn out the way that the OP wants. You needn't agree, obviously.
james123 Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 (edited) Better to be prepared for any eventuality then to be caught unprepared +1 exactly It is a possibility, after all. Edited December 3, 2009 by james123
sugar_and_spice Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 I personally feel that it is better to go slow, but it's ultimately up to the OP.
Author agentsmith Posted December 3, 2009 Author Posted December 3, 2009 (edited) I didn't say I was going to try and sleep with her asap. Anyway, we were out celebrating a mate's birthday, and she didn't say anything this time, just kept looking at me every few minutes. I went up to her and asked her what was up, and she said, "you tell me what's up with you, why are you ignoring me, what did I do?" I said she had done nothing, and that I was not ignoring her at all, I had simply been really busy at work. She asked if we could go out for a while to chat. I agreed. We went out, talked in general and she looked a little down so I asked her if she was okay. She said , "I really missed you". Huh? Is that a good sign? I hope it is, but I don't want to get my hopes up too high. She hugged me before we went back inside, and she stayed with me for the rest of the party. Before leaving, she asked me if I wanted to meet her over the weekend if I wasn't busy. I said I was free the day after tomorrow(that's tomorrow now), so we're meeting up for dinner. Edited December 3, 2009 by agentsmith 1
carhill Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Doesn't that just tug at your heartstrings? I smile because I know how good they really are at what they do. Enjoy the dinner, do a lot of touching and give her a nice firm romantic kiss at the end of the evening (or earlier). If she does not respond passionately, smile and don't look back. She never gets the benefit of your lips or time or energy again. 1
jerseyboy Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Doesn't that just tug at your heartstrings? I smile because I know how good they really are at what they do. Enjoy the dinner, do a lot of touching and give her a nice firm romantic kiss at the end of the evening (or earlier). If she does not respond passionately, smile and don't look back. She never gets the benefit of your lips or time or energy again. Shes not at fault. He is She told him exactly what she thought. She didnt jerk him around, or lead him on. She likes the friendship, doesnt want anything more. Last I checked that isnt a criminal offense. I dont think she means anything by what she just said either, other than she misses the friendship. But I dont take that as her playing with him. Shes acting like a friend, hes acting like a hurt bf
radwimps Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 yes she likes you ask her out NOW cmon do it
christian6 Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 I didn't say I was going to try and sleep with her asap. Anyway, we were out celebrating a mate's birthday, and she didn't say anything this time, just kept looking at me every few minutes. I went up to her and asked her what was up, and she said, "you tell me what's up with you, why are you ignoring me, what did I do?" I said she had done nothing, and that I was not ignoring her at all, I had simply been really busy at work. She asked if we could go out for a while to chat. I agreed. We went out, talked in general and she looked a little down so I asked her if she was okay. She said , "I really missed you". Huh? Is that a good sign? I hope it is, but I don't want to get my hopes up too high. She hugged me before we went back inside, and she stayed with me for the rest of the party. Before leaving, she asked me if I wanted to meet her over the weekend if I wasn't busy. I said I was free the day after tomorrow(that's tomorrow now), so we're meeting up for dinner. could mean she misses having you around, that's all.
Yukikazi Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 yes she likes you ask her out NOW cmon do it Dude.. relax.. she asked him out for tomorrow... its all good right now. Notice her use of tense.. she "missed" you... so she is assuming she has you back now perhaps.. may have just been a leash tug... Rad.. we don't know if she likes him.. she may just be missing his shoulder and ear... its the other parts she needs to miss before he gives he anything more then cursory attention at this point.
Chrome Barracuda Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 It's often when you run she chases and when you chase, she runs. Simple as that. I hope it works out for you...
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