Two year later, the gloves came off...and she's certifiable!

[Mini-Me]

Also, rose, my husband NEVER blamed me or his OW. He only blamed himself with such guilt and remorse it has almost impeded our healing.

 

Oh no, he had feeelings for her at the time. I just think he saw what he wanted to see, not the real her as I discovered yesterday.

 

Spark, I have read your story and I really do believe you are amazing... However (and there is always a however), just because this OW didnt return your calls from before or accept your olive branch, it does sadden me to read how, I dont know, ugly some of this is sounding? Do you REALLY know that she is "certifiable"? Is she REALLY crazy? I mean, from what I have read, she HAS done her "job" after Dday.. She has left you alone, right? She has left your H alone, right? I dont know, I am glad you feel better, and this isnt some "free the OW" post, it just sounds "different" coming from YOU....

[Spark1111]

Spark, I have read your story and I really do believe you are amazing... However (and there is always a however), just because this OW didnt return your calls from before or accept your olive branch, it does sadden me to read how, I dont know, ugly some of this is sounding? Do you REALLY know that she is "certifiable"? Is she REALLY crazy? I mean, from what I have read, she HAS done her "job" after Dday.. She has left you alone, right? She has left your H alone, right? I dont know, I am glad you feel better, and this isnt some "free the OW" post, it just sounds "different" coming from YOU....

 

Oh no Mini-me...She broke two years of NC initiated by him, to waltz unannounced into his new office and ask him for relationship advice regarding a new boyfriend.

 

He was stunned and told her it was inappropriate and to do what she thought was best but to leave us alone as we wished her no harm.

 

She returned two hours later, initiating another way too personal conversation.

 

I was supported by my husband to call her. Afterall, this is a work colleague in another office. His ability is limited in such an atmosphere.

 

That is when the gloves came off. That is when I called her. And that is when she went....unstable, because she never believed he would tell me??? Who knows.

[mybrowneyedgirl]

spark. i think you did a great job with all of this. but i had some thoughts with reading some of these posts. i am an xow.

 

ok. so i could see myself 2 years down the road waltzing into his office and talking about my life. why? to stick it to him. not to get him back or to make him jealous. but my xmm months after dday and a choice to stay with his wife is now telling me he's more unhappy than ever. this man hurt me, confused me deeply. threw me under the bus. if two years from now i have the chance to flaunt my happiness and my good marriage in his face i might do it. (wouldnt though, im not that type of personality). sort of a "thank you" for getting the H*** out of my life.

 

and his wife has contacted me several times. not since dday, only when suspicious of the A. and honestly, i was so upset that i acted like a blubbering fool on the phone. like someone else said, i was surprised, scared, confused and i know i sounded crazy and didnt make much sense. i cried, apologized (even though she didnt know what for) and only called back her phone calls after calling some girlfriends and gathering strength from them first. so just to let you know, the girl you talked to might not have been acting like herself. i know i couldnt speak normally to her now, if it happens out of the blue two years from now i might pee my pants.

[Spark1111]

MBEG,

Thanks for your honesty. I appreciate that. And I so get the Sticking it to an exMM, showing him how well your life is going now. I do. But then has anyone moved on from anything if it is two years after DDay?

 

I truly meant well when I called six months ago. I told her no aminosity here, just want to close the door on a very painful chapter in all our lives. Please return my call. Let's put this to rest. I'd rather it this way then we bump into each other at the some company event. Wouldn't you?

 

Okay, she didn't return the call, which is her perogative. But she told my husband they were viscious. He was with me when I made them! They were above and beyond kind. She lied.

 

I never contacted her after DDay. I refused to let anyone else contact her after DDay. I refused to allow any revenge nonsense, because even then I believed, three people in a triangle, three get hurt.

 

I dealt with my marriage and my spouse and I held no animosity towards her.

 

But today, two years later, she has to stay away from us. We and he can't be friends. Just as I can't be friends with old boyfriends from college (he'd go crazy) out of respect to me, he cannot be friends with his exAP.

 

I do not know what she was thinking, but after my phone call I realized she doesn't know either. Angry, viscious, attacking of him and me, and unable to answer the question of, yes you have every right to be angry. He lied to both of us. He lied mostly to himself. So why did you go to his office unannounced last week, having no official business, to ask his guidance on a new realtionship, so sweetly, if you so hate him, which you have every right to?"

 

I smelled a rat. I think you would to. Pulleeeze!

[OWoman]

Spark,

First off, to say I'm glad you drew strength from the confrontation, and finally have the closure you've been seeking - in spite of her, since you could not get it from her. You sought it with dignity, and I'm glad you now have it.

 

But I'm going to differ with you on this:

 

Not only did I not deserve it, neither did my husband. It was soooo wrong.

I want her to leave us alone. Me, for the obvious reasons, but him, too. It is today, also, very UNFAIR TO HIM.

 

I don't think it's unfair on HIM. I think it's merely the consequence of his bad judgment, in choosing to involve himself with a nutjob. So yes, that's what you get for doing so. Her being a nutjob may not be his fault, but his choice to involve himself with a nutjob was.

 

He needs to do better to protect you from the fallout - and to limit the damage to himself, if need be. But to excuse him from the consequences of his OWN FREE choices in this lets him off the hook from FULL responsibility for his actions.

 

(I'm not excusing what she did - and, in his position, I'd use company disciplinary codes to stress to her just how inappropriate it was, and to ensure that it does not happen again - but I do feel that this is a direct consequence of his bad judgment, and an opportunity for him to confront once again the extent of the havoc he has wrought!)

[Brokenlady]

MBEG,

Thanks for your honesty. I appreciate that. And I so get the Sticking it to an exMM, showing him how well your life is going now. I do. But then has anyone moved on from anything if it is two years after DDay?

 

Possibly not. Being completely shattered - even if you pick up the pieces, you still have the scars.

 

I truly meant well when I called six months ago. I told her no aminosity here, just want to close the door on a very painful chapter in all our lives. Please return my call. Let's put this to rest. I'd rather it this way then we bump into each other at the some company event. Wouldn't you?

 

Maybe she didn't. Maybe talking to you would have meant really fully having to be immersed in knowing he chose you over her.

 

Okay, she didn't return the call, which is her perogative. But she told my husband they were viscious. He was with me when I made them! They were above and beyond kind. She lied.

 

When someone gets rejected, they don't neccesarily interpret things the way the were intended. She was likely still raw from being thrown under the bus and likely thought you were calling to gloat or berate her. Gloating would probably be the most painful. I mean, your husband used her, so I can understand her not wanting to be "used" again as a tool to help you two repair your marriage (closure, whatever). It's too much for him to say he doesn't want her but then have him essentially turn around and ask her to make you feel better about the affair.

 

I never contacted her after DDay.

Now I'm confused, I thought you just said you left her messages she didn't return?

 

I refused to let anyone else contact her after DDay. I refused to allow any revenge nonsense, because even then I believed, three people in a triangle, three get hurt.

 

You're right, and that was really taking the high road. You should be proud of yourself.

 

I tend to think she was likely trying to stick it to him, rather than rekindle anything. But I don't think she anticipated the response she got from you. She still broke the deal by going in there, but that just shows how deeply the A and the end of it affected her. If there's a rat to be smelled, I have to wonder if your H still hasn't given you the full story about the length of their relationship or the depth of it. Either way, he chose you and she shouldn't have gone there. So, she has to face the consequences of it, and that can include the phone call from you. If she came off as unbalanced, it's probably because she's still an emotional mess. I doubt very much your H would knowingly get involved with someone who was obviously off their rocker.

[NoIDidn't]

I don't think it's unfair on HIM. I think it's merely the consequence of his bad judgment, in choosing to involve himself with a nutjob. So yes, that's what you get for doing so. Her being a nutjob may not be his fault, but his choice to involve himself with a nutjob was.

 

He needs to do better to protect you from the fallout - and to limit the damage to himself, if need be. But to excuse him from the consequences of his OWN FREE choices in this lets him off the hook from FULL responsibility for his actions.

 

(I'm not excusing what she did - and, in his position, I'd use company disciplinary codes to stress to her just how inappropriate it was, and to ensure that it does not happen again - but I do feel that this is a direct consequence of his bad judgment, and an opportunity for him to confront once again the extent of the havoc he has wrought!)

 

 

I totally agree with you here, OWoman.

 

I remember when the EA was over, how the xOW would corner my H whenever he went into her building to tell him about how her BF left her and how it was all my fault, and how could he let me call, and blah blah blah.

 

I told him he needed to handle it because it was no longer my problem. He started it, he needed to figure out a way to fix it that I would accept.

 

I didn't feel sorry for him. But I was (sometimes still am) angry that he brought this needless drama into his workplace. Sure, she needs to let it go, but he should have thought twice about the possible fallout on his job.

 

He doesn't work with her anymore, but she sometimes attends our church functions. And I promise you, that if she does that telling him her life history BS again and I am around, it WILL end that day. Period.

[NoIDidn't]

Maybe she didn't. Maybe talking to you would have meant really fully having to be immersed in knowing he chose you over her.

 

So the OW should have been allowed to stay deluded and in denial about the truth of his choice?

 

When someone gets rejected, they don't neccesarily interpret things the way the were intended. She was likely still raw from being thrown under the bus and likely thought you were calling to gloat or berate her. Gloating would probably be the most painful. I mean, your husband used her, so I can understand her not wanting to be "used" again as a tool to help you two repair your marriage (closure, whatever). It's too much for him to say he doesn't want her but then have him essentially turn around and ask her to make you feel better about the affair.

 

Far from "her husband used her". This woman had just been left for another woman. Its more likely that she was using Spark's H to get her confidence back. Sounded to me, like this OW was the one attempting to do the gloating. "You have no idea of the things he told me" sounds like gloating to me. (Of course, I am paraphrasing, but you get the gist)

 

I tend to think she was likely trying to stick it to him, rather than rekindle anything. But I don't think she anticipated the response she got from you. She still broke the deal by going in there, but that just shows how deeply the A and the end of it affected her. If there's a rat to be smelled, I have to wonder if your H still hasn't given you the full story about the length of their relationship or the depth of it. Either way, he chose you and she shouldn't have gone there. So, she has to face the consequences of it, and that can include the phone call from you. If she came off as unbalanced, it's probably because she's still an emotional mess. I doubt very much your H would knowingly get involved with someone who was obviously off their rocker.

 

This is definitely a possible interpretation of her actions, but I totally disagree. First, she showed absolutely no class in trying to "stick it to him" in that way. Living well being the best revenge doesn't mean telling them about it yourself.

 

I agree that its possible that the affair was longer than told, but I doubt, in this case, that it was twice the length or whatever because I think the OW would have been dying to rub that in Spark's face if it was the case. Considering she thought she had a secret she could use against Spark (the surprise visit), I would think she would have told her the length of the A if she knew Spark didn't know the truth about that.

 

But I tend to think that many affairs don't have any depth at all, on the MMs part mostly. They are intense, and that is very hard to get over, but no real depth in most cases.

 

I had long disagreed with Spark's attempts to contact this woman so long after the A was over. But this woman broke NC for no reason other than to see if she still had an affect on him. Spark was well within her rights to contact her after that. If she hadn't surprised Spark's H with that visit, I would not have supported Spark's calling her - at work of all places. But this is where the OW made her stand, so she deserved just the same type of surprise that she gave, IMO.

[Brokenlady]

So the OW should have been allowed to stay deluded and in denial about the truth of his choice?

 

Why not? Why rub it in her face?

 

Far from "her husband used her". This woman had just been left for another woman. Its more likely that she was using Spark's H to get her confidence back. Sounded to me, like this OW was the one attempting to do the gloating. "You have no idea of the things he told me" sounds like gloating to me. (Of course, I am paraphrasing, but you get the gist)

 

Maybe, but I read the tone in that phrase a different way. I read that as I feel really bad for what I did, but understand that he lied to me - you have no idea about the kind if lies and how many lies, the kind of manipulation in what he told me. Hard to tell from what Spark typed what the tone really was.

 

 

This is definitely a possible interpretation of her actions, but I totally disagree. First, she showed absolutely no class in trying to "stick it to him" in that way. Living well being the best revenge doesn't mean telling them about it yourself.

 

Yes, I agree that that was immature at best and she deserved the backlash she got.

 

I agree that its possible that the affair was longer than told, but I doubt, in this case, that it was twice the length or whatever because I think the OW would have been dying to rub that in Spark's face if it was the case. Considering she thought she had a secret she could use against Spark (the surprise visit), I would think she would have told her the length of the A if she knew Spark didn't know the truth about that.

 

We don't know this woman and don't know the tone of what she said, so it's hard to say. I didn't read the OP as the OW was being nasty, I read it as she was acting like a blubbering mess. But it's possible.

 

But I tend to think that many affairs don't have any depth at all, on the MMs part mostly. They are intense, and that is very hard to get over, but no real depth in most cases.

 

Even if the MM isn't in deep, it doesn't mean the OW isn't too. That's why OW's get their heart broken.

 

I had long disagreed with Spark's attempts to contact this woman so long after the A was over. But this woman broke NC for no reason other than to see if she still had an affect on him. Spark was well within her rights to contact her after that. If she hadn't surprised Spark's H with that visit, I would not have supported Spark's calling her - at work of all places. But this is where the OW made her stand, so she deserved just the same type of surprise that she gave, IMO.

 

Sure, as i said above, the OW asked for it by going there.

[Spark1111]

Thank you so much for your responses. They are all insightful and welcomed.

 

After DDay, he was back and forth between us, and whenever I discovered that, I threw him out again.

 

Her texts read like hallmark cards: Be kind to yourself and to Spark....Out of the ashes a Phoenix will rise....you obviously love her, so go to her and try to make it right with her....

 

I thought, WoW! She really, really loves him too! At a time I so hated his deception and wanted no part of him....she SEEMED like she was taking the high road for love.....true love....and that made me believe she was maybe a wonderful person.

 

So, is it possible....this was all an act????? That she was confident he would choose her in the end?????

 

Because she continued to call with her exH rant, and to feel out our situation and he finally said, YOU have to stop calling me! And she said, NEVER? We can't be friends? And he said , Yes. I am recommitting to Spark.

 

And because of her hallmark sentiments, he thought she was fine about it. Well, not fine, but she had encouraged him to work on us.

 

Why?

 

OWoman, he loved her. He thought of marrying her at one point. He spoke to his sister and was making lists of who to choose, his confusion was so great.

 

But I now believe he never really saw her! I think he just saw what he wanted to see. She was, in his depression....who he wanted her to be.

You are right. I do not excuse him. His thinking and judgement was flawed and has caused such a mess.

 

But mine isn't. Not now.

[whichwayisup]

Maybe she didn't. Maybe talking to you would have meant really fully having to be immersed in knowing he chose you over her.

 

But the OW HAS TO KNOW she put herself in a position where eventually a choice is going to be made. 9/10 the CS doesn't pick their affair partner, they choose their spouse. For her to be that cocky that he would choose her over his wife may have been a rude awakening, but he has that right to change his mind, choose his wife and end the affair. The OW, 2 years later, has to accept that and move on.

[NoIDidn't]

Thank you so much for your responses. They are all insightful and welcomed.

 

After DDay, he was back and forth between us, and whenever I discovered that, I threw him out again.

 

Her texts read like hallmark cards: Be kind to yourself and to Spark....Out of the ashes a Phoenix will rise....you obviously love her, so go to her and try to make it right with her....

 

I thought, WoW! She really, really loves him too! At a time I so hated his deception and wanted no part of him....she SEEMED like she was taking the high road for love.....true love....and that made me believe she was maybe a wonderful person.

 

So, is it possible....this was all an act????? That she was confident he would choose her in the end?????

 

Because she continued to call with her exH rant, and to feel out our situation and he finally said, YOU have to stop calling me! And she said, NEVER? We can't be friends? And he said , Yes. I am recommitting to Spark.

 

And because of her hallmark sentiments, he thought she was fine about it. Well, not fine, but she had encouraged him to work on us.

 

Why?

 

OWoman, he loved her. He thought of marrying her at one point. He spoke to his sister and was making lists of who to choose, his confusion was so great.

 

But I now believe he never really saw her! I think he just saw what he wanted to see. She was, in his depression....who he wanted her to be.

You are right. I do not excuse him. His thinking and judgement was flawed and has caused such a mess.

 

But mine isn't. Not now.

 

 

Spark, I am always amazed at the grace and dignity you show in your posts about this OW. Your acceptance of his feelings about her at one time. And even, your honesty about the state that your marriage was in.

 

You so vulnerably stated, "he loved her". That was touching and honest.

 

She obviously tried to take the high road, but didn't really accept that he might not choose her in the end. She wasn't prepared for this outcome and it shows.

 

But you speak about her and the affair so kindly.

 

I think you are indeed the kindest former BW on this forum. Thanks for that.

[Spark1111]

Her tone alternated between tearful apology, righteous indignation, vicious attack, evasion, anger, contempt, and superiority, with a heavy dose of over-the-top melodrama thrown in.

 

It was, almost undescribable.

 

And a complete....OVERREACTION to my tone of voice.

 

And totally mystifyingly opposite of the confident charming woman who waltzed into my husband's office last week demurely asking for relationship advice.

 

I was shocked, shocked at the OW I spoke to....Did not expect it...Totally stunned...still reeling from it...and am scratching my head as to why my spouse never saw it...

 

Maybe because it was NEVER directed at him. Never.

 

Look, I come from crazy. I know it when I see it.

[Mini-Me]

First of all, I am glad to "finally" see a discussion going on regarding a very sensitive subject, WITHOUT someone coming into it and making a big mess of the thread. (hope I just didnt jinx it)

 

It does sound as of the OW has some "issues" to deal with (don't we all?), but that doesnt make her crazy (maybe she is), so I wish folks would stop calling her crazy or a "nutjob", when in fact, others I believe are seeing the situation for what it really is. Who knows WHY she stopped by the office un-announced the other day? Maybe she did want to say, "see there, I am moving on TOO". doesnt make it right, doesnt justify it, but doesnt make her crazy.

 

My feeling, and that is all it is, is that it was "normal", and in NO WAY was Spark calling her wrong to do, but saying she is a crazy woman isnt healthy, IMHO...

 

**and, she DOES work for the same company, right? and she DID have to be at that building that day too??? Didnt mean she had to go to his actual office I know, but it was convenient, not "stalkerish"

Edited November 25, 2009 by Mini-Me

[NoIDidn't]

Maybe she didn't. Maybe talking to you would have meant really fully having to be immersed in knowing he chose you over her.

 

But the OW HAS TO KNOW she put herself in a position where eventually a choice is going to be made. 9/10 the CS doesn't pick their affair partner, they choose their spouse. For her to be that cocky that he would choose her over his wife may have been a rude awakening, but he has that right to change his mind, choose his wife and end the affair. The OW, 2 years later, has to accept that and move on.

 

I still find the first quote such an odd thing to suggest. That the xOW shouldn't have to accept reality. I can certainly understand not wanting to talk to someone, but for the purposes of avoiding reality?

 

Because Spark has shared that she was still in contact with the exH, who DID leave her for an OW, I can't imagine that she felt that Spark's marriage even had a chance - like hers apparently didn't.

 

I just think she was hoping for a similar outcome in her own affair like her H had in his. I don't remember the psychological term for this, but it really is what I think happened.

 

I really don't think this woman in any way healed from what happened in her own marriage and divorce and was, unwittingly, using Spark's H to heal herself. But it only ended up hurting her more.

 

Infidelity really does hurt everyone it touches. Regardless of the outcomes. Her H and his new W are probably feeling like they won, but she is still spinning over it. I hope she heals the right way eventually, soon.

[Spark1111]

NID, It has been years since the Divorce! YEARS! She has not moved on, not one iota!

 

My spouse even grew fatigued with her daily diatribe and said she still must have feelings for him. She was stunned he thought so, but the wars continue between them.

[Spark1111]

First of all, I am glad to "finally" see a discussion going on regarding a very sensitive subject, WITHOUT someone coming into it and making a big mess of the thread. (hope I just didnt jinx it)

 

It does sound as of the OW has some "issues" to deal with (don't we all?), but that doesnt make her crazy (maybe she is), so I wish folks would stop calling her crazy or a "nutjob", when in fact, others I believe are seeing the situation for what it really is. Who knows WHY she stopped by the office un-announced the other day? Maybe she did want to say, "see there, I am moving on TOO". doesnt make it right, doesnt justify it, but doesnt make her crazy.

 

My feeling, and that is all it is, is that it was "normal", and in NO WAY was Spark calling her wrong to do, but saying she is a crazy woman isnt healthy, IMHO...

 

**and, she DOES work for the same company, right? and she DID have to be at that building that day too??? Didnt mean she had to go to his actual office I know, but it was convenient, not "stalkerish"

 

No, they work in two separate divisions and have no reason to cross paths with each other.....EVER.

 

Stopping by wasn't crazy. Unwanted, but not crazy. Her reactions to me were.

[Brokenlady]

I still find the first quote such an odd thing to suggest. That the xOW shouldn't have to accept reality. I can certainly understand not wanting to talk to someone' date=' but for the purposes of avoiding reality? [/quote']

 

Have you ever had an experience that was so overwhelming that reality was too much to bear? That you just wanted to shut off for awhile? It's not about being delusional, but about not making things harder for yourself. Calling Spark back may have just been more than she could bear at the time.

 

Because Spark has shared that she was still in contact with the exH, who DID leave her for an OW, I can't imagine that she felt that Spark's marriage even had a chance - like hers apparently didn't.

 

I just think she was hoping for a similar outcome in her own affair like her H had in his. I don't remember the psychological term for this, but it really is what I think happened.

 

OH, I didn't know that. That makes sense.

 

I really don't think this woman in any way healed from what happened in her own marriage and divorce and was, unwittingly, using Spark's H to heal herself. But it only ended up hurting her more.

 

Infidelity really does hurt everyone it touches. Regardless of the outcomes. Her H and his new W are probably feeling like they won, but she is still spinning over it. I hope she heals the right way eventually, soon.

 

Yes, you're probably right.

[Mini-Me]

No, they work in two separate divisions and have no reason to cross paths with each other.....EVER.

 

Stopping by wasn't crazy. Unwanted, but not crazy. Her reactions to me were.

 

In your first post on this thread, you said that they work for the same company, but 50 miles apart, but that day, she was at his building on a different floor, right? anyway...

 

None of us heard her reactions to you, but you did... So we can all debate this all day long. Who knows "why" she reacted that way, probably a host of different things, again, none of which make them "right". You have always shown amazing grace and maturity here, and I know there are alot of OW's that appreciate your RARE approach as the BW..

I am VERY much in the belief that the OW in this case had alot to deal with because of your husband. I, as a former OM, know EXACTLY what it feels like to have "fallen" for someone who was married, and promised the world, only to have that world jerked out from under me like a sick magic trick, and TOO, after a divorce when I wasnt feeling so great about things or what the world held for me in regards to finding "love" again... So, with that being said, for whatever reason (which was wrong) for her stopping by your husbands office, I sure was just another slap in her face and it back fired big time.... for her..

[OWoman]

Spark, I am always amazed at the grace and dignity you show in your posts about this OW. Your acceptance of his feelings about her at one time. And even, your honesty about the state that your marriage was in.

 

You so vulnerably stated, "he loved her". That was touching and honest.

 

She obviously tried to take the high road, but didn't really accept that he might not choose her in the end. She wasn't prepared for this outcome and it shows.

 

But you speak about her and the affair so kindly.

 

I think you are indeed the kindest former BW on this forum. Thanks for that.

 

NID, you beat me to it - I was also about to commend Spark on the generosity and grace with which she posts - she never loses touch with the humanity of all involved, and always frames her perspective with compassion.

 

Which is why, if she finds lunacy in a response / interaction, I'm inclined to take her at her word. Spark isn't someone who writes anyone off as a basketcase - unless overwhelmed by the evidence.

 

I agree with others that there may be many reasons for the fOW's state of derangement - but while that might explain it, I don't feel that that denies it.

[roseroserose]

We'll never be able to look into someone else's mind completely. So there's no reason to go on and on about what it all could have meant... only the OW knows the truth and she's not here to tell her side of the story.

 

She might even think you're the stalker . Calling her two years after the affair, just because she paid him a small visit in his office.

 

I can already hear her comments to her girlfriends: 'Man this woman is crazy, she absolutely went beserk when she found out I had been to his office when I was in the neighbourhood. I didn't throw myself on his desk, just a hello and to see how he was doing and to tell how I was doing and because of that she needs to call me when I'm working! This woman is so not over it, she needs a shrink quickly. And pretending to be calm and composed and friendly, but I could just feel the tension underneath it all.

 

(Am not saying this is the truth, but I'm sure this is the story she's mentioning)

[eeyore1981]

If Spark says OW is a nutjob, then I believe it.

 

OW in my case was a nutjob, too. I knew it pretty quickly into the first conversation with her. It was shortly after confirmed by people who would know. I don't personally have a piece of paper stating it is so, but one actually does exist.

 

I don't think all OW are clinically crackers, but mine was, and apparently Spark's showed some symptoms.

 

Spark, I am glad this has worked out for you, and helped you to feel better. I hope you never have to deal with your H's looney tunes xOW ever again.

[NoIDidn't]

Have you ever had an experience that was so overwhelming that reality was too much to bear? That you just wanted to shut off for awhile? It's not about being delusional, but about not making things harder for yourself. Calling Spark back may have just been more than she could bear at the time.

 

 

I think the situation was too much to bear for her for the reasons stated in a previous post (her other issues).

 

I do understand what you are saying, we just disagree on whether her doing so (for whatever reasons) was acceptable. I find them unacceptable. I feel that all she needed to do was return the call, or at least send an email meant for Spark to let her know she got the calls but did not wish to speak - at that time or ever.

[hopeless4u]

If Spark says OW is a nutjob, then I believe it.

 

OW in my case was a nutjob, too. I knew it pretty quickly into the first conversation with her. It was shortly after confirmed by people who would know. I don't personally have a piece of paper stating it is so, but one actually does exist.

 

I don't think all OW are clinically crackers, but mine was, and apparently Spark's showed some symptoms.

 

Spark, I am glad this has worked out for you, and helped you to feel better. I hope you never have to deal with your H's looney tunes xOW ever again.

 

HA HA LOL! This is so true and at least has lightened the mood, as an xOW and not a nutjob as far as I know this made me smile:laugh:

[Mini-Me]

heeeeeeeeeeeere we go :mad::mad: