harris_t Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 I was on a 5th date with a girl before she asked me "I need to know where I stand" and "Where is this going?" What does it mean when a woman asks "Where is this going?". Some one told me it means "I want to marry you". What do you folks think? Ladies, when would you ask a man this? Why? How much did you like him when you did ask? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 If a lady has asked you this, to my mind it seems as if she's realised she has deep feelings for you, and wants to know whether it's worth her time and effort investing her all in the relationship emotionally. It may not necessarily mean she's got marriage in mind - but she's not planning to quit any time soon, and wants to know if you feel the same. (Alternatively, she might have met someone really hot, and wants to know what your position is, before she gets down to business with him..... ) Link to post Share on other sites
SageThyme Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Hmm ...I can only really speak from experience, and that's probably not what most women mean: Guy #1 I asked, it meant: So, I've been giving you head - are you ever going to return the favor? You see me as a friend with benefits - but do you see me as an equal friend with benefits? BTW he used the whole "I don't want you getting attached" crap on me to justify getting head from me for several months, which he often did in the most degrading way possible, without so much as ever touching me back for fear of this so-called "attachment" ...yeah, an honest straight-forward discussion would have helped. Guy #2 I asked: this one went over considerably better than the first. What I meant this time was: So, we've been kissing and we just had sex a couple nights ago. We've been spending a lot of time together recently. People have been getting jealous of us. Are you getting interested enough in this that we're going to keep this going for a while? Are you the jealous type and do you want me to tell the other guys I'm taken? Or are you just fulfilling some need or instinct and in reality you're going to go back to flirting with that other chick in a few hours? The answer, incidentally, was that he wanted to call me his girlfriend. Like I said, much better than the last one. I like what TaraMaiden said better. Most of all, women just want to know whether or not they should invest their time or effort, how seriously to take this. That way, they can know whether to keep their options open, whether they might be getting too committed too soon, how much they need to protect their heart... Just what it says, what to be prepared for next. That's all. Link to post Share on other sites
jerseyboy Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Hmm ...I can only really speak from experience, and that's probably not what most women mean: Guy #1 I asked, it meant: So, I've been giving you head - are you ever going to return the favor? You see me as a friend with benefits - but do you see me as an equal friend with benefits? BTW he used the whole "I don't want you getting attached" crap on me to justify getting head from me for several months, which he often did in the most degrading way possible, without so much as ever touching me back for fear of this so-called "attachment" ...yeah, an honest straight-forward discussion would have helped. Guy #2 I asked: this one went over considerably better than the first. What I meant this time was: So, we've been kissing and we just had sex a couple nights ago. We've been spending a lot of time together recently. People have been getting jealous of us. Are you getting interested enough in this that we're going to keep this going for a while? Are you the jealous type and do you want me to tell the other guys I'm taken? Or are you just fulfilling some need or instinct and in reality you're going to go back to flirting with that other chick in a few hours? The answer, incidentally, was that he wanted to call me his girlfriend. Like I said, much better than the last one. I like what TaraMaiden said better. Most of all, women just want to know whether or not they should invest their time or effort, how seriously to take this. That way, they can know whether to keep their options open, whether they might be getting too committed too soon, how much they need to protect their heart... Just what it says, what to be prepared for next. That's all. Wow You realy need to work some on how you interact with your potential mates Link to post Share on other sites
xxxheartbrokenxxx Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 I was on a 5th date with a girl before she asked me "I need to know where I stand" and "Where is this going?" What does it mean when a woman asks "Where is this going?". Some one told me it means "I want to marry you". What do you folks think? Ladies, when would you ask a man this? Why? How much did you like him when you did ask? Its what I would ask a guy if I wanted a relationship. And I would probably want to know even sooner than the 5th date! I have been messed around so much in the past therefore now I always worry where I stand with a man and how he feels about me. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 I doubt on the fifth date she wants to marry you. She probably wants to know if you are exclusive or if it's heading to a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
DustySaltus Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 This question always comes up around the 5th date. I agree with Tara Maiden's perspective on it. I don't think it's because she wants to "marry you" at this moment but she wants to know if she should shut off her "peripheral vision" for a while. Oh, and now instead of going out with her friends on Friday nights, she will expect that to be "your night" Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 I was on a 5th date with a girl before she asked me "I need to know where I stand" and "Where is this going?" What does it mean when a woman asks "Where is this going?". Some one told me it means "I want to marry you". What do you folks think? Ladies, when would you ask a man this? Why? How much did you like him when you did ask? Heck no I wouldn't ask any man that question. You should have said this is going to the movies, dinner or wherever you two were going and then I would change the subject on her. Link to post Share on other sites
CLC2008 Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 If a lady has asked you this, to my mind it seems as if she's realised she has deep feelings for you, and wants to know whether it's worth her time and effort investing her all in the relationship emotionally. It may not necessarily mean she's got marriage in mind - but she's not planning to quit any time soon, and wants to know if you feel the same. Spot on Tara. Link to post Share on other sites
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