Author BookerT Posted November 24, 2009 Author Posted November 24, 2009 I think beauty is about perception...it's not totally based on what mass media claims is "beautiful". Plus with most people, they might be picking out possibilities based on looks, but the one they call their SO is the one who is a good combo of looks, intelligence, stability, and personality. Say you moved into a town that has a good size pool of singles. 1/3 are gorgeous people, 1/3 are average looking, and 1/3 are fat/ugly folk. Say the gorgeous people are all shallow, selfish, have little to bring to the table other than looks, and even won't easily put out (or are terrible in bed) and aren't very loyal. The averages are ok or decent at sex, want things to be equal, have much to bring to the table, but won't settle for less than who they are. The fats and uglys are totally kind, good to people, can hold amazing conversations, and would be totally loyal to their mates. Many will try for the gorgeous folk, but get disenchanted often when they find out these people are not good people...just good looking. Women will get tired of their gorgeous boyfriends cheating on them and disrespecting them, men will get tired of their gorgeous girlfriends cheating, disrespecting, and mooching off them. The averages will all get picked up simply because they aren't horrible people on the inside, but many might take on an average and hope or even cheat with a gorgeous. Others will pick the average not out of a "settling" ideology, but more because they might have gotten burned by enough gorgeous folk that they want something more than a "hot" mate. The fats and uglies will find love too...with other fats and uglies. Most of the time those folk get sick of rejection and ridicule by the "better looking" and thus find one another because they grew to see beauty in one's heart. I have several obese friends who all found love very easily and have it strong and good. I see them married for life and having happy children (hopefully healthy too). I know many "gorgeous" folk who can't seem to ever find love...because they're so obsessed with a Ken or Barbie fantasy and/or even so distrustful of the opposite sex that they can't seem to find reality in their quest for a trophy. This is not envy or hate or anything on "good looking" people...but more speaking reality that for all those who believe the quest is to find the hottest thing out there, you might be disappointed in the long run. It coincides when I see guys complain that every hot woman they meet is a skank, shallow princess, bitch, psycho, etc...while women complain how every hot guy they meet is a jerk, cheater, loser, etc. Nature works in funny ways like that. What you've said is exactly true. I know lots of "hot" people that are never happy, in fact they're never happy with settling for less. However nature's design isn't actually flawed. See nature's design is simply for reproduction. In the past if two individuals mated there was a high chance of offspring, and the fittest mated the most. These days, there's contraceptives, which is a very modern invention, and that means people can have relationships and sex without having kids. In other words contraceptives and how human society is built now vastly changes the way in which genes are past on.
Sam Spade Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 Hmm... I wouldn't underestimate the value of attention. People often get drawn to the people who give them certain types of attention, and it doesn't always register what that other person looks like as long as it's the type of attention they want. Truer words have never been spoken . I consider my gf to be very pretty. Probably not a MTV-type knockout, but very pretty. I guess that makes her average . Anyway, the way she treats me (sweet, caring, submissive (to a point)) is just as big a factor in attraction as her flawless skin. The point being that I'd laugh at the (early) Naomi Campbell or Megan Fox if they showed up at my doorstep begging to be my gf - they may be hot, but their attitudes are so rotten that I'd not want to do anything with them as far as going into actual relationship is concerned. There are many gorgeous single women, and the reason they are single is their failure to understand that it takes a lot more than looks to keep a man around.
threebyfate Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 Or the same goes with a Colin Ferrel over an average Joe.I sincerely wouldn't touch Colin Farrell with a ten foot pole. Not only is he unattractive in that he looks like a boy, he's also an arsehole, who's incredibly self-entitled and has little to no self-control. There are serious self-destructive tendencies within him. Unbalanced.
Els Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 This so totally explains why I'm in an LDR with my bf when guys who stereotypically look nicer (from how I've heard my gfs talking about them) and won't be leaving the country anytime soon have asked me out before. Because I'm settling, right? Infallible theory, OP.
PinkToes Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 I think it depends on the culture and how accepted plastic surgery is. You go to Brazil and Korea and more than 50% of the women have had plastic surgery. I think in Korea it's actually 80%, mainly for eyes and breasts. That may be one reason why some people don't have plastic surgery. It doesn't explain why so many people choose not to upgrade their physical appearance in simpler ways. If everyone agrees that a fit body is more attractive to the opposite sex, and that's totally within our power, and being attractive provides so much more opportunity to upgrade when it comes to love, why doesn't everyone go to the gym? Is it possible that maybe we're not all just a bunch of average losers forced to settle for whatever we can get, and that we're actually happy with the people we're able to attract into our lives? A lot of the beautiful people look like crap underneath the makeup and smoke & mirrors; they've just chosen to invest more in their outside appearance. Not a quality I admire in a person, but hey, to each his own.
Pizzaman81 Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 Everyone's taste is slightly different. But I think the vast majority of people would pick a Jessica Alba look alike over a Rosie O'donnell, assuming the two women's personalities were the same. Or the same goes with a Colin Ferrel over an average Joe. Most average people pick each other because they don't have the option or the choice to get better. If however they did have the choice it's hard for that person in their own mind to trade down, when they have an option. It's not just exclusive to looks, it pretty much applies to everything in life. A person that has lived in a trailer park all his life isn't going to feel as bad about living there as a multimillionare that's lost all his fortunes and forced to live there. A kid existing on a 500 calorie per day diet and with very little to eat in Africa is not going to feel it as bad as a fat bastard from a first world country forced to starve along with the kid. Human beings find it hard to trade down. So back to the looks. An ugly person is used to dating ugly people, so they don't mind The attractive person is like the multimillionaire or the fat bastard, and would naturally find it much harder to find an ugly person attractive. I think over the course of my life, one after another I've had 4 gfs total and they just get better and better. I think I will keep on trying until I get a perfect 10 before marriage Oh ya, it's much safer for the girl to be more attractive than the guy than a guy being much more attractive than the girl. The latter creates an extremely unstable relationship.
AD1980 Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 Oh ya, it's much safer for the girl to be more attractive than the guy than a guy being much more attractive than the girl. The latter creates an extremely unstable relationship. Why do you feel that way?
Pizzaman81 Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 Why do you feel that way? I dunno, i feel that us guys tend to fall prey to attraction of other women if approached more often by more attractive women than our mate. It's probably biological.
shadowplay Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 (edited) This is only very tangentially related, but it's something I've always been curious about. Have you ever noticed that you can tell 90% of the time whether a woman is attractive just by looking at her from behind. What I mean is if you see a young woman who is slim, well-dressed with nice hair, if she turns around she almost always has a pretty face. I've always wondered if it's because women who are born with pretty faces try harder to maintain their appearance. Or maybe it's that a nice body and pretty face are likely to go together because attractive people with both of those features are drawn to mate with each other. Edited November 24, 2009 by shadowplay
AD1980 Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 I dunno, i feel that us guys tend to fall prey to attraction of other women if approached more often by more attractive women than our mate. It's probably biological. I think it depends on the person..Im sure theryes plenty of women who would be tempted by a good looking guy who approaches her if hes a much better looking guy then her boyfriend..
shadowplay Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 I dunno, i feel that us guys tend to fall prey to attraction of other women if approached more often by more attractive women than our mate. It's probably biological. Some, but there are a lot of guys who aren't that superficial. Samspade is apparently one.
Toki Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 YOU ROCK, says the tattooed girl with black hair. Oh, Reeeeaaaaallllllyyyyy???
cognac Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 I dunno, i feel that us guys tend to fall prey to attraction of other women if approached more often by more attractive women than our mate. It's probably biological. I don't know about you but I am not generally sexually attracted to women all the guys say are "SOOOOO HOT" anymore. I cannot ever sexually be aroused by megan fox or angelina jolie or whatever other retard people think are so amazing. I prefer a semi-good looking girl who is easy to get along with than any soulless "hot chick". I would probably take the semi-good looking chick over the beautiful woman even if both had the same personality actually. Perhaps this has to do more with personal experience of very hot girls rarely reciprocating sexual arousal with me while I have had some success and garnered a lot of interest with women in my "league" who are cute but not "megan fox". Personally I think it is humiliating to bend over backwards just to compete with hundreds of guys for the fickle heart of 1 "Hot " woman, who is too busy making sure she stays so hot in order for all kinds of dumb horny men to make their lives easier than it should be. They will never develop a personality because there is no pressure to do so, and having no personality is a recipe for depression (in my opinion) and personal misery. When I see a very hot woman I can't help but attribute only negative things to them, and if they're nice people on the outside , I still find it hard to trust them completely.
Author BookerT Posted November 25, 2009 Author Posted November 25, 2009 why doesn't everyone go to the gym? . That one's easy. Laziness. I'm trying to lose weight right now and I can tell you it takes effort to go to the gym, and willpower to run if you're not in shape.
PinkToes Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 That one's easy. Laziness. I'm trying to lose weight right now and I can tell you it takes effort to go to the gym, and willpower to run if you're not in shape. I get that. I'm just saying that people choose to not do things that could improve their rankings on the superficial 1-10 scale, so they're not just hopeless victims of nature who are doomed to mediocre relationships; it's a choice whether to play that game or not. Which is much more directly related to Megan's point, than yours, I know.
Author BookerT Posted November 25, 2009 Author Posted November 25, 2009 I get that. I'm just saying that people choose to not do things that could improve their rankings on the superficial 1-10 scale, so they're not just hopeless victims of nature who are doomed to mediocre relationships; it's a choice whether to play that game or not. Which is much more directly related to Megan's point, than yours, I know. Oh I see. Yeah well the worst people (for themselves) are the people that cry all day about how bad their situation is, but it is in their power to change the situation, they're just too lazy or weak to take it upon themselves.
Yamaha Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 I don't think people can change their situation, after all it's all hardwired into us. If we're born weak, short, ugly and shy then we are the animals on the fringe and have to watch as the strong, confident guys get to mate with the hot babes. We just have to settle for a weak, lack-luster female and be happy to have her. We learn to value her because there is no other option and someone is better than being alone. Yes. The weak, average folks just don't have the genetic makeup to advance their species and isn't that the law of the fittest?
PinkToes Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 I don't think people can change their situation, after all it's all hardwired into us. If we're born weak, short, ugly and shy then we are the animals on the fringe and have to watch as the strong, confident guys get to mate with the hot babes. We just have to settle for a weak, lack-luster female and be happy to have her. We learn to value her because there is no other option and someone is better than being alone. Yes. The weak, average folks just don't have the genetic makeup to advance their species and isn't that the law of the fittest? That's really sad. I hope you're kidding.
Yamaha Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 That's really sad. I hope you're kidding. ;).........
Sam Spade Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 (edited) This is only very tangentially related, but it's something I've always been curious about. Have you ever noticed that you can tell 90% of the time whether a woman is attractive just by looking at her from behind. What I mean is if you see a young woman who is slim, well-dressed with nice hair, if she turns around she almost always has a pretty face. I've always wondered if it's because women who are born with pretty faces try harder to maintain their appearance. Or maybe it's that a nice body and pretty face are likely to go together because attractive people with both of those features are drawn to mate with each other. Well, duh - it is even simpler --> fat simply bloats and disfigures women's (and of course - men's) faces and makes them look like my old uncle. Even averagely pretty girl easily begins to look like an armchair in the face as soon as she starts piling on the fats. Very rarely you will see actually seriously unfortunate facial features. Usually *all* that it takes for a woman to be pretty is to not be fat. (That's just one my reason to be baffled why chunky chikas can't or don't want to do such a simple step to drastically improving their quality of life and dating prospect by simply losing the fat.) Here's an example: these girls would be very attractive if they lost 10-20 pounds each. But as they are right now, they look like the school bullies or something, and all i can think about is how comfy it would be to sit on them. http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/4500/Fat-Girls-4951.jpg Edited November 25, 2009 by Sam Spade
PinkToes Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Well, duh - it is even simpler --> fat simply bloats and disfigures women's (and of course - men's) faces and makes them look like my old uncle. Even averagely pretty girl easily begins to look like an armchair in the face as soon as she starts piling on the fats. Very rarely you will see actually seriously unfortunate facial features. Usually *all* that it takes for a woman to be pretty is to not be fat. (That's just one my reason to be baffled why chunky chikas can't or don't want to do such a simple step to drastically improving their quality of life and dating prospect by simply losing the fat.) Here's an example: these girls would be very attractive if they lost 10-20 pounds each. But as they are right now, they look like the school bullies http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/4500/Fat-Girls-4951.jpg I love Photoshop. It's so subtle.
Sam Spade Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 I love Photoshop. It's so subtle. Justice demands that it is used for fattening instead of slimming at least once every 10 years.
AD1980 Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 There is some truth to this.. My boy who gets women hitting on him all the time always finds the sligthest flaws with women and is very picky.. we see a haflway decent looking girl walking down the street and he says shes ugly or unattractive and im thinking what the hell is he talking about When you think about if you have options and always get hit on u can afford to be picky and you start to pick apart every single personwho walks by flaw by flaw.. WHen your in my position your amazed a girl is actually interested in you and you cant be picky you just pray shes not a trainwreck and is haflway decent looking I cant afford to have my types becasue theyd probably have no interest in me
Taramere Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 It's not just exclusive to looks, it pretty much applies to everything in life. A person that has lived in a trailer park all his life isn't going to feel as bad about living there as a multimillionare that's lost all his fortunes and forced to live there. Unless the person losing the fortune inherited it or won it in a lottery, they've been able to make money in the past and so they're better equipped than most people to get back there. I think it follows that they're probably better equipped to take on all kinds of challenges - including trading down - in a positive, tough frame of mind. Human beings find it hard to trade down. The weaker minded and more egotistical the person, the more like a humiliation it's going to feel to trade down. A smarter, more adventurous person will adapt far more easily. So back to the looks. An ugly person is used to dating ugly people, so they don't mind The attractive person is like the multimillionaire or the fat bastard, and would naturally find it much harder to find an ugly person attractive. An attractive person with nothing else going for them will naturally be focused highly on looks. In other cases, looks are just one consideration. Someone, male or female, who is above average in a number of areas, including physical attractiveness, might place less value on looks in a potential partner, more on intelligence, musical/artistic talent, emotional stability etc. No use having a partner with a pretty face if sex with them is a washout, or you're going to be ducking to avoid flying crockery 5 times a month, or if they're so stupid you lose the will to live after 5 minutes of conversation with them. Unless you are equally stupid and unbalanced.
Recommended Posts