floods88 Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 he came over to get the rest of his stuff today. i was strong and put on a really good front. however, he didnt. he looked terrible and looked as if he was about to cry. he asked me if i was okay and i said i was fine and when i asked him back he just shrugged and looked away. he said that hes sure he'll see me around soon and left. this really f***ed me up and confused me. i was doing so well and the way he was just made me feel as though this whole thing is a mistake. so i txt him later on and asked if he was alright and he replied saying "yea im fine, just out having a drink" is he playing games with me? what is going on? i feel like im back at square one. and i was doing so well
USMCHokie Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 and i was doing so well And you still are!! It's not a matter of him playing games...as the dumpee doing NC, there is no such thing as games...there is no wondering how he's doing...no feeling bad if he looks mopey... Until you have to replace the front door that he broke down to get you back, there should be no doubt in your mind that moving on is what's best for you... This little incident may have been a hiccup, but I don't think it should knock you all the way back to square one...I know you a little bit by now after all the posts, and you're stronger than that...
Author floods88 Posted November 24, 2009 Author Posted November 24, 2009 And you still are!! It's not a matter of him playing games...as the dumpee doing NC, there is no such thing as games...there is no wondering how he's doing...no feeling bad if he looks mopey... Until you have to replace the front door that he broke down to get you back, there should be no doubt in your mind that moving on is what's best for you... This little incident may have been a hiccup, but I don't think it should knock you all the way back to square one...I know you a little bit by now after all the posts, and you're stronger than that... thank you for your reply. maybe i'll feel better again in the morning. actually, i already feel better since your post. its just annoying when everythings going good and your hit again with all the feelings you thought were in the past. i think it was selfish of him to do that. i dont know why hes being so self pitying and sorry for himself, but its getting on my nerves.
Author floods88 Posted November 24, 2009 Author Posted November 24, 2009 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH he started talking to me on facebook and i just went off on one and told him everything and how i feel. i told him that him acting like that today really confused me when i felt that i was getting on with things really well. he said he was upset about the "situation" and didnt know how to handle it. he said, and i quote "im alright" "im goooooooood" hes such an a***hole. but i love him and i want him to want me i swear hes actually gone mental. why would you act like that. i feel so alone and i have no-one to talk to about this. please help
j_cali_man Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 As mentioned around these parts, until he is at your door or in your inbox to set up something for a deep apology and with all of his will to rebuild YOUR trust for him walking out, then NC. Your feelings were not the issue for him. If they were you wouldn't be on this forum. He wasn't trying to confuse you or play games when he saw you. He DOES genuinely miss you and is upset (aka- guilty) about the situation BUT has NO desire to make up with you. if he did, it is pretty simple to say so. He is just sad and lonely (at that time) and it was hard seeing you because he knows he doesn't feel ready (yet...or ever) to go back. I am dreading seeing my ex a week from now to exchange some stuff and am seriously looking into a friend doing the exchange on my behalf. She dumped and moved on...and the same advice given I am adhering to which is unless there's a "lets make this work" , she gets N_O_T_H_I_N_G from me. He should get nothing from you. Stay strong, J
USMCHokie Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH he started talking to me on facebook and i just went off on one and told him everything and how i feel. i told him that him acting like that today really confused me when i felt that i was getting on with things really well. he said he was upset about the "situation" and didnt know how to handle it. he said, and i quote "im alright" "im goooooooood" hes such an a***hole. but i love him and i want him to want me i swear hes actually gone mental. why would you act like that. i feel so alone and i have no-one to talk to about this. please help Gah...what did I tell you...? You're right, he definitely played the ******* card here...looks like a bait and switch here...he says he's 'upset' just to get you to open up...then when he gets what he wants to hear (that you still want him...), then he just says 'oh wait, never mind, I'm actually quite good...' It's just an ego boost for him...knowing that you still want him and it gives him complete control...NC is meant to give you control of your life...breaking NC for breadcrumbs throws that control away... I know it feels like you're losing it...but you haven't...we all go through these lows...it'll get better, as long as you focus on your end goal...
Author floods88 Posted November 24, 2009 Author Posted November 24, 2009 if your feeling good about where you are right now, i STRONGLY advise you to not see her when you exchange your stuff. it makes it so much harder, for me anyway, when something that they do makes you feel like its not over. i thought i was so much stronger, but today i just crumbled. back to NC
USMCHokie Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 It happens...I am almost 100% sure if my ex called me up one day, I'd crumble to pieces...you never know where you're really at until you're tested in a situation like this...until then, you think you're doing well and staying strong...I guess that's why we stay NC...so we don't get that chance to crumble...
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