Donna_Rose Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 I have been in a relationship with my partner of 8yrs now. Things have always been a bit on the bumpy side for us. But as the years go by, they are getting more stressfull. I've become resentful as i'm feeling as though he's just going through the motions and doesn't really deep down care for me. A few examples would be that he is disrepectful towards me and then is ignorant to the fact that he's treated me with disrespect. Just the other day i asked him could he please just do his bit and help me out by putting the toilet seat down, He says smugly " You should put the toilet seat up for me" As if i don't do enough as it is! I get no help with housework and if i ask him to help me with something he forgets or ignores me not sure which, once i said i could really do with your help.. He says to me "I'll do it in my own time, i'm not going to just jump when you say to do something". I work full time and he also works but what got to me the most today was that i was told off this morning for not getting up at 7am (i got up at 7.10am ) and that he wanted to sleep in because he works loger hours. I do cleaning for a living as it is the most flexible work to fit in around my son. So i work school hours. If i could work longer i would but i can't. I do the housework i don't rest until late at night. I cook and clean and care primarily for my son. We have a 7yro son with special needs that has behaviour problems and makes alot of mess and trouble around the house.. so everyday i'm cleaning for a living and at home. He wants me to do everything and feels i don't deserve a rest, he gets 3-4 days off a week due to working 12hr shifts in an office and sleeps as much as he wants on his days off. I've slept in once in 3months! I had a breakdown due to things just getting too stressfull around here, my son broke out and left the house while i was cooking dinner and i panicked as he has no sense of danger, which really just about tipped me over the edge and the way my partner had been treating me just added to the stress.. I had a week to get myself back on track and he was kind enough to me but after 2 weeks passed the old habits were starting to sneak back in. I just don't know what to do, i'm so tired, physically and mentally. We don't talk about things and he never apoligizes for the hurtful things he says to me. Am i just wasting more precious time with this person?
KM366 Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 I'm here looking for advice myself but I thought I'd tell you how sympathetic I am to what you're going through. I know it has to be very painful to be with this person and feel like they aren't there for you. I too feel like I've hit an emotional brick wall and I'm pretty sure that all I have left is to try to communicate and if I can't find any comfort/success that way then move on. I hope you are able to talk to your partner and work this out. It can be very difficult to break from an unpleasant routine.
WalkInThePark Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Donna, unfortunately I think you are wasting your time with this person. he is selfish. Sorry but this is 2009 almost 2010. If both man and woman in a couple work, the household should be shared. I know that most women still do more than 50% but the guy should at least do an effort so that she does not do 100% of it.
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