PhoenixRise Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 i may be wrong, but the one who used the word "beast" was calling her that because friends/family others in their community called that woman the "beast." i say if one acts like a beast then they should be called a beast - ow, ws, bs, whoever. but i slept with someone else's husband. am i wrong for that YES. am i wrong for betraying my husband? YES. did i make some selfish and hurtful choices? YES. but i, by no means am a whore. (i realize OP wasnt talking about me) now, if i were to go out and sleep with everyones husband, conduct myself in a trashy manner, easily give it up to anyone that asked then i might be a whore. just the same as the "beast" comment. i understand the OP here was angry. the anger didnt bother me. the name calling didnt bother me. it was the direct statements that she wanted to stop this child from receiving support and that she thought she had some input into whether this woman should have had an abortion or not. theres lots of words that could be used to describe someone who thinks this way. not saying that im calling names, just pointing out that if this woman wasnt a betrayed spouse and she talked this way she would be flamed, and hard. So are you saying that because this OW claimed that other people called the wife a beast that it was ok for her to call her this? And since you are saying that if someone (in your judgment) behaves like a beast then it is ok for them to be called this name then why object if in THIS BS judgement the OW in her situation is a whore and she calls her this? I guess if you look at it this way....the actual number of MM slept with / husbands betrayed before one merits getting this name hurled at them is up for grabs and a matter of personal judgment....In this OP judgment, maybe it took only one. The Op posted later that she knew her H deserved his share of the blame and that the child would be supported. AND posters on this forum pointed out to her that she was excessively vilifying the OW in her situation. She got called out for her comments. My point is that wives are bashed and called names on the OW forum and even though OW are quick to come to infidelity to object to name calling when it is the OW who is getting bashed....they say nothing when the wife is being called names and bashed in the OW forum. I don't remember you objecting to this..in fact you just tried to justify it. You just proved my point.
PhoenixRise Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 This is just a case of the BW being held to a higher standard than the OW
Snowflower Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 So are you saying that because this OW claimed that other people called the wife a beast that it was ok for her to call her this? And since you are saying that if someone (in your judgment) behaves like a beast then it is ok for them to be called this name then why object if in THIS BS judgement the OW in her situation is a whore and she calls her this? I guess if you look at it this way....the actual number of MM slept with / husbands betrayed before one merits getting this name hurled at them is up for grabs and a matter of personal judgment....In this OP judgment, maybe it took only one. The Op posted later that she knew her H deserved his share of the blame and that the child would be supported. AND posters on this forum pointed out to her that she was excessively vilifying the OW in her situation. She got called out for her comments. My point is that wives are bashed and called names on the OW forum and even though OW are quick to come to infidelity to object to name calling when it is the OW who is getting bashed....they say nothing when the wife is being called names and bashed in the OW forum. I don't remember you objecting to this..in fact you just tried to justify it. You just proved my point. PR, Nice job at defending the OP and the general practice of name calling around here. I hope the OP comes back but I can't blame her if she doesn't. I'm sure when she posted her first post she didn't understand all those unwritten rules there are here on LS--blame only your WS, don't vent about your real feelings because it might upset someone who is reading, etc. The OP was called down for villifying the OW and she realized the error in her thinking. Obviously she shouldn't have to be happy about the situation but it appeared as if she was being held to a higher standard in dealing with a truly sad situation that she didn't create.
PhoenixRise Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 PR, Nice job at defending the OP and the general practice of name calling around here. I hope the OP comes back but I can't blame her if she doesn't. I'm sure when she posted her first post she didn't understand all those unwritten rules there are here on LS--blame only your WS, don't vent about your real feelings because it might upset someone who is reading, etc. The OP was called down for villifying the OW and she realized the error in her thinking. Obviously she shouldn't have to be happy about the situation but it appeared as if she was being held to a higher standard in dealing with a truly sad situation that she didn't create. Apparently the unwritten rules only apply to shell shocked and hurting BW...OW say whatever they want about whatever they want and it is never a problem. I hope the OP comes back too.
Virgo1982 Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 This is just a case of the BW being held to a higher standard than the OW I understood that the OP was upset and did not take offense to what she said. I believe other posters-some who were not OW-were upset because most OW do not call BS a beast. However, calling an OW a whore is more stereotypical. Some may hold BS to a higher standard, but I know they are human, just like me. We are jacking this woman's thread... I feel bad that she came here for support and people of all backgrounds trampled her. I think the reaction from LoveShack would have been different if the baby was not a part of the equation, but in that case, she would not have been so upset either.
adiaz Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 I understood that the OP was upset and did not take offense to what she said. I believe other posters-some who were not OW-were upset because most OW do not call BS a beast. However, calling an OW a whore is more stereotypical. Some may hold BS to a higher standard, but I know they are human, just like me. We are jacking this woman's thread... I feel bad that she came here for support and people of all backgrounds trampled her. I think the reaction from LoveShack would have been different if the baby was not a part of the equation, but in that case, she would not have been so upset either. Personally, my reaction would only have been different had she not suggested the OW murder the baby she has while she gets to keep, raise and love her children. I have nothing against her calling the other woman a whore and I can look past the fact that she barely blames her husband all for the sake of being angry but everything she said about this baby did it for me.
LifesontheUp Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Lets not forget that the OP is only a week out from receiving a summons here and finding out. Her world has been turned upside down for goodness sake OP, I hope you have someone to talk with about this, a close friend, family member. Infidelity is one hell of a roller coaster ride when you find out about it, but with there being a child involved I can understand it will be more painful. Sending you hugs and hope you are getting some help and support through this situation.
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