ladyblondie Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Im very self conscious about my body and have no confidence in showing anyone my body when it comes to dating and intimacy. How do you get over feeling like this? I feel fine about myself and my body normally, just getting intimate with someone and having them see my body is alittle hard for me to deal with. I work out as well, so I don't know what to do? I try on sexy clothes from fredricks or victoria secrets and nothing fits me, and the thing is Im not over weight. So, not sure what I need to do to get over my body problems when Im infront of a man.
Trimmer Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 I don't have much in the way of advice, but lots of questions to gather more information. How old are you, and what has your relationship history been like? Have you always been this way, or has this issue developed and changed over time? Do you have any history of abuse or relationship issues from your childhood or adolescence that may be feeding forward into this issue? Is it strictly an issue of revealing your body visually? Would you be comfortable with the thought of being intimate with a man in the dark, if you weren't seen? Have you had any thoughts about talking it over with a counselor/therapist?
Author ladyblondie Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 Hey there. Thanks for the questions. Im 28 female. I was in a bad relationship that was abusive for acouple years, and got out of it. Lots of name calling on my weight, and being alittle over weight. Yeah, that took a big toll on how I felt about my body. Now, Im trying to be in a relationship and its hard. I have brought it up to him that Id like for the lights off, but he wants lights on. He wants to see me and is a very visual person. I just gotta get over how I feel about my body. But its hard. The guy Im with enjoys my body, loves it, and I can't get over how I feel about my body and how much I feel uncomfortable.
darknightie Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 it helps to walk around your room naked every chance you get, get used to seeing it in the mirror, how you move...and telling yourself how hot you are (fake it til you make it - I dont doubt you are hot! just meant in your own head, sometimes it takes a little mind-trickery) really helps. Its a start. And when you say this stuff doesnt "fit" you, I'd be willng to bet it DOES you just arent adjusted to seeing yourself and accepting yourself in it. Every man is visual, so maybe come to a comprimise and use candlelight as mood-lighting? Just some suggestions...
Author ladyblondie Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 Really appreciate the suggestions. Definitly looking to improve on my body confidence in anyway possible. Im going to the gym again, and that is helping me alittle bit feeling better about myself. But yea, walking around naked does help, I have done it before and it freeing and great. Gotta start that up again.
Dooda Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Ladyblondie, tell yourself out loud how hot you are. By saying it out loud, your giving credibility to what you're thinking or at least to what you want to think and your subconcious takes it in easier. Just like how you can make yourself feel bad by constantly thinking, "my body's ugly", you can reverse that by doing exactly the opposite. Be sincere when you say it, and don't feel bad about yourself when saying it. The old relationship is probably wearing hard on you, but let go of it and move on knowing you've left that Ass in the Past.
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