DenverBachelor Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 So I left the apartment where we both live and started walking towards 16'th Street in Denver. In the distance, I saw her approaching with apparently a second new guy since we broke up (and he's 2 inches shorter than her and she likes tall guys??) Well, I've been NC for 27 days so I knew as we got closer, I had a choice to make. a) Totally ignore her. b) Cut across so I didn't walk by them. c) Walk past and just be polite. Well, as we got closer, I could tell she was looking at me and she saw me looking at her. I decided to just go for it so I put my hand up in a simple hello fashion and smiled at her. I figured she would look away or just give a quick smile. Instead, she put her hand up high as well and gave me a very nice smile. I'm sort of proud of myself for looking sharp (I was looking very sharp) and acknowledging her in a friendly manner without acting all weird. She was my best friend for seven years, and I asked her for no contact 27 days ago and she honoured that. I think by waving and smiling, I showed her that I held no ill-will against her. What's weird is that I don't feel anxious like I did when I saw her on Friday. I actually felt calm and at peace. I don't understand why, though. I am thinking about sending her an e-mail or a text in the next few days to transition from NC to very light LC. I care about her a lot and she was a big part of my life for so long. I don't hold any hopes of reconciliation at this point as she looked very happy with her new guy. However, my only question that I have for myself is if I am transitioning to quickly into LC without getting more emotional distance from the breakup. Perhaps I am having a good day and that gave me a lot of strength, but nobody can speak for tomorrow or next week. Did I do the wrong thing by acting happy and waving to her and smiling? I guess I broke NC with that -- but NC is very hard to do when you live in the same building with someone. Anyone have any thoughts on this? I'm sorry for all the posts this weekend but it has been an eventful one by running into her twice. I'm shocked it is a second guy since we broke up, but I have no idea if the first one was just a friend. Just seems odd -- but I'm glad she is happy and she looked good. So that makes me proud of her.
mike5770 Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Before trying to contact her I would give it at least a month. It sounds like you are reading into her signal as a sign she wants to rekindle what you had. That was a classy way to handle her but just be carefule not to get intoxicated by it. I made the same mistake a couple of years ago a relationship ended very badly and I ran into her and apologized for acting like an ******* the last time I saw her (drunk in a bar) and she was really nice. I fell into the trap of saying we should hang out again and she said great. Of course it was all lip service and when I ran into her again a few months later she was very cold and distant and felt like a knife in my heart. If you are truly over her you would not care if you got in touch with her again. Also she is dating someone else so what would the point of that be? Just my opinion...good luck with whatever you decide!
Author DenverBachelor Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 Before trying to contact her I would give it at least a month. It sounds like you are reading into her signal as a sign she wants to rekindle what you had. That was a classy way to handle her but just be carefule not to get intoxicated by it. I made the same mistake a couple of years ago a relationship ended very badly and I ran into her and apologized for acting like an ******* the last time I saw her (drunk in a bar) and she was really nice. I fell into the trap of saying we should hang out again and she said great. Of course it was all lip service and when I ran into her again a few months later she was very cold and distant and felt like a knife in my heart. If you are truly over her you would not care if you got in touch with her again. Also she is dating someone else so what would the point of that be? Just my opinion...good luck with whatever you decide! I spoke to my best friend about it and he said basically what you did but a little more sternly. He said, "move on, she's out of your life now and with a new guy." It makes no sense to go out of NC because she's happy and doing her thing and I have to accept it. If I see her or bump into her, I'll smile and wave to be friendly, but I need to move on and let her live her life (as painful as that is for me).
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