JaggedRoad Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 I've been in contact with my ex for the last 2 weeks (it ended in August), and I no longer have that unrelenting anger that I had just a month ago. It still sucks to know that we have separate lives now. I guess it's only not that bad because I'm oblivious as to whether or not she's seeing someone or has taken interest in someone. That and the fact that I got a lot off my chest with the three letters I had her read. I'm trying to convince her to visit me during her Spring break. We'll see how that goes and if anything comes out of it other than unbearable pain. It's a slim chance that she'll agree to it, but it's better than not trying at all. I love her so much, but I can't believe all the mistakes I've made in the past year. I want to hug her tightly in my arms and tell her that I'll never be so stupid and careless again, but that's just me and my day-dreaming. I could be planning my outings with her next month by now, but here I am, writing up yet another thread about what I'm doing nearly 4 months into the break-up. It's funny--She got me a Benrick This diary will change your life 2007 diary for Christmas in 2006, and we finally got to spend time with each other the following Christmas. Last Christmas, she gave me the 2009 edition, and we're no longer together.
USMCHokie Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 I'm trying to convince her to visit me during her Spring break. Ummm...wat....? I may have to go back and refresh my memory as to your story, but what is this supposed to accomplish...? Trust me...not a good idea...I invited my ex to go to Germany for free (it was for work...) with me 2 months after the break while we were still talking and then asked her to the Marine Corps Ball one month after that...she said she'd think about it both times...I was forced to assume that she wasn't interested... It's honestly not going to help to see her again, if she'd even agree to it...it'll only put you further down in the hole, and she may not want to put ideas of hope in your head...
Author JaggedRoad Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 After the break-up, I asked to see her again for the last time. She told me no and that it wouldn't be the last time because she might visit New York in the spring. A few weeks went by and she gave me a list of all the different cities she plans to visit while she's at uni; New York was not one of them I took this as her having no desire to see me again, so I went NC a couple days after. I guess I'm trying to see if there's any chance at all for us to be back together again if she decides to visit. But yes, it is a bad idea =/
USMCHokie Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 I guess I'm trying to see if there's any chance at all for us to be back together again if she decides to visit. Boat paddle to face... Hey, I understand how you feel...what I wouldn't give to get to see my ex again...or even talk to her...but the thing is, SHE has to decide whether she wants to visit and ask you if she can see you...unfortunately, what you want is kind of irrelevant...if one day this winter she has a change of heart, then figure out what you want to do then...but at this point, you cannot suggest that she come see you...she has to come to you first... You said you two have separate lives now...so live your lives separately...don't look at her list of cities to visit...don't say hi just to check up...you know the deal... But yes, it is a bad idea =/ Quoted for truth...
Author JaggedRoad Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 That paddle whack lacked enthusiasm! I'm currently typing up a summary of life for her to read this weekend. This should be the last thing she needs to read. Pathetic? Yes I am! If I were so dedicated to my studies and hobbies as I am to my ex, I would be in a much better place. I'm trying to tie up any loose ends just so I can tell myself that I did what I could. It's not a pretty sight, but I have to do what I think is going to allow me to properly move on.
USMCHokie Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 I'm currently typing up a summary of life for her to read this weekend. This should be the last thing she needs to read. Pathetic? Yes I am! I think I just puked a little in my mouth when I read this...a summary of life...? What the heck is that...? I'm trying to tie up any loose ends just so I can tell myself that I did what I could. It's not a pretty sight, but I have to do what I think is going to allow me to properly move on. When someone leaves you...you do all you can not for her, not for the relationship, but for you...generally, there's nothing you can do to "win" her back...it's something she has to decide on her own...instead, she has to win you back...it really becomes her job to do everything she can do to restore the relationship...there are no loose ends on your part, my friend... And good lord, please put down this life summary...go to sleep or something...
Author JaggedRoad Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 Went to sleep before I wrote past my third birthday. Thanks for the paddle slap to reality =)
onewillburn Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 It seems like you're not listening to any of the advice you're given here. You're still talking to her, so you still have all of this hope. This is all going to end up hurting you a lot more in the end. Being in contact with her is making you desperate. You're showering her with attention, and planning these great exhibitions of your love (you were going to go fly to see her, now you're writing the tale of your life for her?) but it's a waste. You need to get over her. Preserve your love for someone else. I think her explanation for breaking up with you had to do with her moving...correct? I would keep in mind that her moving away was most likely not the true reason she broke up with you. If she were that committed to the relationship, she probably would have tried to make it work, right?
Thebob Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Man get over this girl man, you need to. You even said it in your posts that there is a slim chance, if not at all. Move on!!! listen to your own advice that you give to other people. You got this man. Thebob
Author JaggedRoad Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 No, I haven't been listening at all. I was hoping to find some glimmer of hope by telling her what I have so far. Even though it failed to make her reconsider, I feel considerably better after getting all of that stuff off my mind.
McGrupp Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 it sucks dude. how are we supposed to move on? i dont know...but we have to
onewillburn Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 it sucks dude. how are we supposed to move on? i dont know... Through strict no contact. It can be miserable, emotionally fluctuating, and depressing, but that's what withdrawal is like. You'll learn to like yourself a little more as time goes on. Stop hanging onto threads and just drop her for good. If it's that difficult for you, why not set little goals? First, try two weeks of NC, then go for 30 days, etc. At some point, you'll stop counting because it won't even be hard for you anymore. NC took at least a bit over a month for me to feel noticably better. You have to give it a chance.
Recommended Posts