Author EskimoPassingBy Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 Haha it seems like we are chatting to each other in a chat room or something. They need to make a chat room for this forum. Anyway shes online now. After she joined this group 'you're online and I want to talk to you BUT i'm not going to say hi first.', I know that I'm never going to say hi. Always do the opposite of what my mind tells me.
blackbear_703 Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Yep it does seem like a chatroom! It would be a good idea if they created one for the forum. I'm sure it wouldn't be short of visitors! It is a strange feeling when you're going out of your way to avoid them when they're right there in your face on MSN, Facebook, or whatever, yet at the same time hoping to hear something from them. Well I'm half-asleep now, so it's time for me to head back to bed. I just hope I don't dream about her again this time around....
Author EskimoPassingBy Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 I hope you don't dream about her too! I woke up at 6am this morning feeling happy that I didn't dream about her. Then I fell asleep again and BAM! A dream of her. Woke up feeling depressed all day haha Man I find myself editting alot.. because random things pop into my mind. Yes its a strange feeling to avoid them. Its a strange feeling that the closest person in your life that you knew so well is now a stranger that you know nothing about what shes thinking. Hell, the breakup itself is strange.
blackbear_703 Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Yep...dreamed about her again just like you dreamed about yours! I'm hoping I'll dream about something better tonight, like a rock or something. It is hard to see that relationship disappear overnight and the ones we loved turn into strangers. In the case of my ex, we knew each other for six years as both friends and lovers. It's strange that after six years and almost daily conversation, we are not speaking to each other and she has turned into a stranger in more ways than one. It's mind-boggling how it all happened in almost no time at all.
Author EskimoPassingBy Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 I know how it feels. Its 4:41am now and I just got home. Went downtown with friends. So happen we spent majority of our time at the pool place where me and my ex used to hang out. Then we went pass the street we used to walk down even though I didn't have to but I wanted to walk her to her bus. Then pass the starbucks we frequented and ate korean food that we both loved. This night had been crap. I thought it would make me feel better but it hasn't. Sleep time now though.
Author EskimoPassingBy Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 I think I finally figured out the mentality of dumpers. Their ability to not think about the past at all. When I saw that she had joined the facebook group 'I see you online and I want to talk to you BUT I don't want to say hi first', I felt relieved. Even though it doesn't mean much, for awhile I thought there is a possibility she loves me and is struggling not to talk to me. Maybe dumpers won't look back if they know that they hold the decision whether they want to get back or not. That they always have the dumpees to fall back to if they do regret later on. Its about 5 days of NC so far. No intentions of breaking it at the moment either.
blackbear_703 Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Yep I know all too well how you feel about going to all those old places that have all those old memories. For whatever reason I haven't felt that pain yet (and may not), but it was hard during my last couple of break-ups. Sometimes I'd get depressed just going to the grocery store on Fri. evenings since I'd think about those times I'd get a few things to eat and go home and see her. Very depressing. Yesterday morning was terrible because I couldn't stop thinking about her and got depressed, but I saw a friend of mine and listened to her play piano and that helped calm me down. And of course Thanksgiving dinner also helped!
Author EskimoPassingBy Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 I'm abit embarassed to say but I broke NC by one txt. As next Saturday I will be on flight then there will be total NC for 2 months. Alot of you might think I'm stupid for doing it but I did what I wanted to. She hasn't replied and even if she doesn't, its okay. I did what my heart told me and didn't want to regret it. Thanked her for respecting my decision for NC and told her that if I had been friends with her, it would be for the wrong reasons. Call me stupid but I felt that I needed to do it. While I'm not completely healed, soon there will be 2 months of NC. Something tells me she won't reply me, and ofcourse it is disappointing. But I think it will contribute to killing my hopes . Good thing for the long run.
blackbear_703 Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 I think I finally figured out the mentality of dumpers. Their ability to not think about the past at all. When I saw that she had joined the facebook group 'I see you online and I want to talk to you BUT I don't want to say hi first', I felt relieved. Even though it doesn't mean much, for awhile I thought there is a possibility she loves me and is struggling not to talk to me. Maybe dumpers won't look back if they know that they hold the decision whether they want to get back or not. That they always have the dumpees to fall back to if they do regret later on. Its about 5 days of NC so far. No intentions of breaking it at the moment either. That is so true. When they're doing the breaking up, they're thinking about right here and now...not the past or the future. In the short term they may not look back, but in the long run they more often than not end up regretting breaking-up. At that point in time, we've found someone else more deserving of our love and attention. Congrats on 5 days of NC. You've done what's best for you and now you're on the straight path to getting over this. As for me it's been 4 days now...minus the day I posted that Elvis glitter pic on her MySpace that is! hahaha Right now I'm debating on whether or not to use that same "glitter method" as a means of extreme LC. After all, she didn't agree to NC and will sooner or later stick it to me over this. That's assuming I don't go ahead and delete her....
blackbear_703 Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 I'm abit embarassed to say but I broke NC by one txt. As next Saturday I will be on flight then there will be total NC for 2 months. Alot of you might think I'm stupid for doing it but I did what I wanted to. She hasn't replied and even if she doesn't, its okay. I did what my heart told me and didn't want to regret it. Thanked her for respecting my decision for NC and told her that if I had been friends with her, it would be for the wrong reasons. Call me stupid but I felt that I needed to do it. While I'm not completely healed, soon there will be 2 months of NC. Something tells me she won't reply me, and ofcourse it is disappointing. But I think it will contribute to killing my hopes . Good thing for the long run. If it helps you, that's what matters the most. I think the two months of NC will most definitely help you get over her and who knows - you may meet someone new while you're away! Hope you have fun wherever you go and see a whole lot of new places and faces!
Author EskimoPassingBy Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 ITS ONLY BEEN 5 days :'(. Haha it felt like years! The past 2 weeks went by so slowly. Oh I doubt she'll regret it. She probably is pretty annoyed with everything I did on the first week. From the bottom of my heart I do wish that she finds a bf that treats her well. I try to remember this: 'If you really love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours, if not it wasn’t meant to be'. I hope that everything goes well with you and your ex. I know how you feel and how hard NC is. Loving someone but not being able to talk with them is a pain. I recently got pissed at a mutual friend who is leaning towards the dull side as she tried to interfere calling me a coward and all that. So I wrote her messages on facebook saying that I don't get why she wants to interfere and blah blah and I hope the problem stays between me and my ex. Simply got a '**** off' for me trying to be nice. Shouldn't have gave a crap about her..
Author EskimoPassingBy Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 (edited) I think I'm in the hating phase. Suddenly hit me after talking to my friend today that my ex said before the trip that she cannot possibly dump someone she still loves. Now she went to find all these reasons to make it seem like I am the one that caused the break up. Whereas the core reason is simply 'I stopped loving you'. I've tried to be the best dumpee possible. Explained to her NC is a form for me to accept her break up without clinging on to her. I've not turn nasty like her previous ex's. But she puts the reasons for break up all on me. Edited November 29, 2009 by EskimoPassingBy
Author EskimoPassingBy Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 UPDATE! Well triple post in a row. I found myself able to forget her once and for all! The memories of her no longer hurts me. Today I went downtown to hang out with a friend that I haven't hung out with for ages. She helped me delete the saved txts on my phone of my ex telling me how much she loved me. I started tearing up, hurted a little, but it served as something that made me let go. Told my ex that I think I am over her now to be able to let her go. She doesn't reply me but its all good because I don't find myself wondering why she isn't replying. Funny how mind works, just had a good filling meal for the first time since the break. Thanks all for the continuous support!
blackbear_703 Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Hey Eskimo-- I'm so glad to hear you've found the courage to let go of her and move on with your life. There's no doubt about it: You're doing both the sensible and right things. It is hard to let go of all those memories, but it does get painful looking at all those old e-mails, SMSes, etc. I hope your heart heals as soon as it can and you can find the woman who truly is right for you. Also thanks to you too man for listening to me tell my own story! As for mine, I got another e-mail from my ex yesterday needing to know where I was at and if I was ok. This time around she was serious, so I broke NC and sent her a short reply just saying I'm ok and that I needed time to myself. Well, good luck to you and hope you find an awesome lady out there! Who knows...maybe I will too! hahaha
Author EskimoPassingBy Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 Atleast your ex cares about you . Mine is downright ignoring me. I'm sure we'll both find awesome ones in the future
Author EskimoPassingBy Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 LC stage now. Somehow things worked out and we are friends.
blackbear_703 Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Hope LC and friendship work out with her. As for me, I'm debating on whether or not to try LC with my ex as well. Yesterday I got an angry e-mail from her re: NC (and probably the fact that I deleted her pics from my MySpace), so I dunno.
Author EskimoPassingBy Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 So far so good. LC wouldn't work out if either party is still devastated. As for mine, I was the only one feeling crap and it was up to my emotions and feelings on whether LC works or not. I believe I'm over her. I'm no longer devastated. However I still have a 'crush' kinda feeling on her. I think you need to give your ex some time for her to work out what shes thinking.
Author EskimoPassingBy Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 I'm feeling a lot happier and free now . She just admitted that she fell out of love with me and it had NOTHING to do with the arguments and everything. Cause I told her what I realized after the break up, how she said she can't possibly break up with someone she loves. She agreed with my assumption and I'm relieved.
Author EskimoPassingBy Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 Just found out that my assumptions might be true about the trip. I thought that she liked a guy that was on the same trip as her. She said she doesn't like him but like guys that are kind of like him? She likes guys who are sporty and outgoing. I for one think that everyone will have flaws. I hope the guy she gets will meet her expectations that I did not.
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