countingstarsagain Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I just got out of a very serious 3 1/2 year relationship about a month and a half ago. We have always talked about getting married and having kids one day. So when I was forced to break up with him because of the way he had been treating me, I was crushed. (He started calling me less and less, and when we would talk, he would seem so uninterested). My ex was already seeing someone else two weeks later, and I was devastated. I wasn't sure if he had been cheating on me before or if it was a rebound. Anyway, I had NC for about a week and a half. Out of the blue one Sunday morning he calls me. It starts out as small talk then he starts saying it's good to hear my voice and that he misses me. The discussion keeps getting heavier until we're both crying and saying we want to work things out. He admits that all of this time not speaking made him miss me. He even told me this new girl meant nothing to him and they weren't a couple and that I am the one he sees in his future. He stopped by and we slept together, something I am NOT proud of. We said we wanted to get back together, and he said he didn't think we should jump right back into it. He went home and called me that night, as he promised. As I was waiting on his call, I saw on myspace that this other girl's relationship status said 'in a relationship'. I was irate. I thought it through and decided that I wasn't going to be second best to his new love interest and told him he had to choose. I asked him straight up if he wanted to be with me or not, he said no. I hung up. He still occasionally calls me, but the conversation is very light, almost like he just wants to know what I've been up to. He doesn't mention his girlfriend even though I know they're still together. They leave each other loving comments on myspace and it breaks my heart. Their status updates always say that they are doing this or doing that together. They already seem very serious and committed to each other. He repeatedly tries to add me on facebook. (His new girlfriend doesn't have facebook, so his status on there says 'single'). Does anyone think he would have broken up with this girl soon if I would have waited or was he just stringing me along? And could it be that he is missing me, or is he just wanting to see what I've been up to? I'm thinking of doing the NC thing for at least the next two weeks to see what happens. I refuse to contact him. He always calls me and I always answer. I am still deeply in love with him, but I will not be treated this way. What's going through his mind? By the way, I am 22 and he is 20 and is at his first semester at college.
sadgirl1 Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Oh I feel for you hun! He acts like and ********* seriously... He says he wants to get back together with you..sleeps with u and still has another girl waiting for him? NO that can´t be it! You´re right to better not have any contact! Dont answer his calls and dont talk to him and see what happens! But I think he is just playing with you! He thinks he can have it all! Dont give him this satisfaction! Ignore him! God, I´ll never understand why people would do that and just play with someones feelings! But thank God theres something like Karma and it´ll get back to him just as hard one day!
Author countingstarsagain Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 What he's doing to me is really cruel. Everytime I start to get over him, he'll call or text me. I'm going to be strong now! Thanks for the support girl!
RobM Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 can't you just block his number, stop answering his calls, stop looking at his facebook page, move on, stop torturing yourself
NopeNah Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 can't you just block his number, stop answering his calls, stop looking at his facebook page, move on, stop torturing yourselfbut..where's the pain/self torture in that?
silic0ntoad Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 His intentions are exactly as his actions portray them. As blunt as I can put it, he wants comfy old banging to reassure himself of his prowess before he hits off the new girl. And you gave in. My advice? Never talk to him again. I haven't spoken to my ex since she left me 6 months ago. And I'll never willingly do so as long as I have breath in my lungs. Block his number. Don't "not look" at his FB/Myspace. DELETE yours. Better yet, block access to those pages with your ISP until you are able to go online without the urge to look him up. Gather all of his things in a box, and when you are ready (It will be a while, I still have a box of her stuff) burn it. It's releasing and I've done it with every Ex I've had. You need to do everything the opposite of what you feel. You want to talk to him, try to reason, yadda yadda. It's all bollocks now. He already bombed the relationship and now there's nothing left to salvage. So take yourself, heal up, and meet a new stud to make you feel like the woman you truly are. You'll be fine. But his intentions are dubious and nefarious at best.
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