was ready to break up, took a break instead, now i miss her so much

[sjh5086]

been googling similar situations (that's how much i'm thinking about this) and found this website, thought i may as well post my story.

 

to preface, i'm 21 and my girlfriend was/is 19. we're both in college but different schools and living at home commuting. met her somewhat randomly over the summer, hit it off and started dating and hanging out all the time. things were pretty awesome, we treated each other well and her family loves me. what started it going downhill i think was after our first fight which a few friends unfortunately witnessed. my friend's gf claims that she was talking all kinds of dumb sh*t, little complaints and just kind of being bitchy. the thing is, everyone knows there should be nothing to complain about with me as i'm incredibly easy to get along with and my friends knew i treated her like gold. i will say that she was pretty much my first real legitimate girlfriend, only as a result of my shyness over the years. she has had a few relationships, was cheated on by some ******* she dated for 2 years. so perhaps i let her slide on things most normal people would find issue with because i was just so happy to have her and to not be alone anymore.

anyway, after that i believe all my friends started talking sh*t and had it in their heads that she was a bitch. i started to recognize her bitchy qualities, and took steps to take a stand on small issues i felt were unfair. ie, she'd get upset if i said "i'll text you later" and then didn't for a couple hours because i was busy or with my buddies. true that i may have said i would, but still it's a small thing to get mad at me for, and evident of her lack of independence. i'll note now that she really has few other friends, and basically no one else to hang out with besides me and/or my friends. therefore, when we weren't together, she'd clearly be left wondering "where is he," "why am i not with him," or "why isn't he talking." initially she was cool with my friends and their gf(s) but now they'd say she's too loud and obnoxious, annoying, and they see it as me being whipped.

 

so last week, there was a battle we had (and btw, fights did not happen often, i am of the mediating type of personality). she was claiming that i "lied" and "went behind her back" talking to an old friend of mine who was a huge ******* to her, because after he said cruel and unfair things about her, i said F that kid he's a loser dbag and i wouldn't be talking to him anyway. well, she took it as me saying "i promise to never communicate with him again," and after 2-3 times where it came out that he had (literally just) texted me and i made brief small talk over the course of maybe 6 weeks, which i thought was no big deal, she blew up about it saying all she asked for was honesty and i couldn't even give her that. well i said listen, this kid has been like family to me so there's no way i'll ever cease communication.... and then i chose to put my foot down about her overbearing qualities, called her out for being on my back all the time and asked her why all my friends were sick of her and said she was a bitch and wasn't right for me.

maybe a big mistake, but i was so frustrated at the time that i asked a bunch of people and everyone was saying this girl's clearly a bitch, get rid of her. she then chose to approach my good friend and ask him if he really thought he was losing me as a friend to her (one of the feelings i expressed to her) and he said yes, and their conversation degraded into him flipping out and calling her a dumb cunt bitch. so then i was just thinking wow, is this girl crazy, going to my friends with our sh*t like some kind of psycho? and that was the icing on the cake, it became too much for me and i said we clearly need a break this is becoming too much stress for me.

 

as soon as she caught the hint, she wouldn't stop talking to me trying to plead her case. she says it's unfair, i never told her how i felt when she could have tried to make a change, my friends never gave her a chance everyone was just fake to her, and she's in love with me and can't bear to let me go. she'll do anything to stay with me. this right here was even a bit more scary, and i was brutally honest with her, saying wow you know you are starting to sound like psycho-(ex)girlfriend? she said breaks were bullsh*t, that just means it's over so why don't we break up. i'd say "you're right let's break up" and she'd tear up and plead the case further. a couple phone calls went on for hours, her arguing that she deserved another chance, me being more and more brutally honest about the past. i kind of saw her point and decided okay fine, i may be stupid but if she ever wants a second chance, i absolutely need a break at least to think it over, and for her to maybe sober up from her love-drunk state. she agreed and said "you'll see, i can be the gf you're proud of." i feel like that's a little creepy. she also messaged a few of my friends saying "i want his friends to like me" which again... creepy. my friends were kinda like, ummm ok whatever you say. my friend who called her a dumb cunt bitch, well in her attempt to be friends with his gf, she nearly destroyed their relationship. so i doubt they'd ever come around.

 

but here i am, 2 days into "break," and i miss her. alot. i miss the good times we had, i miss her beautiful face and i miss being able to talk to her along with the affection she gave me. i don't miss the drama and stress and the negativity she frequently dealt with (has alot of bad **** going on in her life) and brought to the table. i wonder if i'm giving in to what my friends say or if this is really the right thing to do, for me.

thanks for reading, i just needed a place to vent, maybe someone has a little advice.