9Lives Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 History...4 years together Broke up....about 1 month for good.(relationship has been off and on...and hard alot of times) I went to a banquet yesterday with a date and the first person who sees me is the ex. He did not know I was coming but I knew he was going to be there. He looked up and just stared at me looking shocked. I couldnt believe I saw him that quickly. he didnt even know I knew about it. We of course did not speak. He walked away and went and sat next to his date. My date and I walked pass them and went to your seats which were several table in front of his. I did not make eye contact with him. I looked beautiful and was a complete lady. His friends are my friends as well so I went and talked to them and they thought I was beautiful as well. Nothing but class on my part. Today, I feel really bad. I know we are going our separate ways. He was with his new chic and she has no idea who I am and I wasnt trying to know who she was either. For us to see each other, not speaking, and seeing each other with other people leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I wondering what he is thinking as well. Im not trying to get him back. I still love him but I have accept that we are not getting back together. I think it was hard to see what where we are. How we are going our separate ways. How we cant communicate. How we will see each other but not have anything to do with each other. How he is with someone else. I will be seeing her often because are in the same organization now. She doesnt know who I am and Im not trying to share that with her cause it is the past. What do you guys think? I feel bad...its really sad to me
mickleb Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I don't really get the point of either of you being with other people at this stage. You clearly are not over each other yet, so why the pretence? It's not fair to yourselves or your dates/new partners. Why can't you attend a banquet (what is that, anyway, btw? Medieval / with the Queen? ) by yourself or with a female friend? Your situation just seems unnaturally pressurised, somehow.
Author 9Lives Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 Thanks for replying. I went to the banquet cause I wanted to go. My sisters invited me. I didnt go because of him but I knew he would be there cause he is dating one of the girls. I took a date but we are not seeing each other seriously so that's not a big deal. I wanted support of a male because I didnt want to appear weak, I didnt want him to have someone on his arm and I didnt. I wanted to appear that I am moving on with someone else as well. Call me whatever you want but I needed that. He has been seeing this chic for about 2 or 3 months now. I just found this out here recently. for me it is hard to treat each other this way but i guess for him...that is how it goes
mickleb Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 So he cheated? That's a bit different, I guess. It makes me wonder how you can keep so composed. I would be livid. You can choose to keep quiet on the subject of you two, but I'D only do that if it made it easier for ME. You owe nothing to her (I'm not saying you need to be anything other than nice to her - unless she was aware that he was cheating on you) but it would probably do her more harm, in the long run, if she found out he was a rat later on. I'm not suggesting you spread any information anywhere. I'm saying, if you find it hard to, don't feel the need to keep any part of your life hidden from anyone. You have done nothing wrong and you shouldn't be expected to deal with this 'better' for her sake, or anyone elses. Hope you know what I mean. Take care. x
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