Hconfused Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I am 40, single, no kids, lost my husband few years ago. Recently, I entered into online dating site for the first time to see if there could be someone special once again in my life. I'm new to this dating. Some men have shown interest and I truly don't know how to proceed when they ask for my phone number or want to meet me. One person in particular was very persistent and we started chatting online. I didnot initially respond to his profile because it listed that he is 'separated'. However, he persistently tried to contact me and I gave in. He is the father of a 12 yr-old, separated from his wife (that's what he claims). We live 3000 miles apart, so, there is no way for me to know anything beyond what he tells me online. He said he is separated 8 months ago, his 12-year old lives with him and wife lives separately. He says he is not looking to get married, he is looking for casual relationship, he is not divorced yet but he says that divorce is in pipe. He insists that he likes me, it is not physical (since we haven't even met) but that we should be good friends and we should talk, meet when we can. I'm confused because, we met on a dating site, what could be his expectations from this friendship? Should I even continue chatting with him? He is well established in life, seems really nice. I should confess here that I'm beginning to really like this guy but I haven't told him that yet. But I don't want to cause anymore trouble in his already troubled marriage (if it is true) nor do I want to be called "the other woman". I have practically lost my mind thinking about this.. can i talk to him on the phone or meet him? or should I totally cut him off? Can anyone please suggest what is the right thing to do? Thank you!
A O Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 First off, plenty of separated people inhabit dating sites, that shouldn't be a problem. Next, the distance is a huge hurdle to overcome, and not one that I advise anyone to undertake if they can help it, and in this case, you certainly can help it. Then there's the fact that he's only looking for a casual relationship. Causal relationships barely work at the best of times let alone in long-distance situations. Finally, are you really into him or is it the attention that you're really hooked on? My guess is that he's simply looking for a bit of fun, so unless you're looking for the same, I wouldn't bother with him. Try and stick closer to home, your chances are better and relationship life is less of a hassle that way. .
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 My feeling? I doubt his wife even knows he has this dating account, or that they are 'separated'. Even if he is really separated, eight-months-out separated people are playing the field and not looking to get back into something they are working their way out of. Honestly, I would just pass this one over. I'm getting the idea that his persistence is not his interest in you as a person, but his interest in you as an easy and vulnerable target. I'd pass this one by, and move on to someone closer and more available. You will not find your 'special person' in this man.
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