MinTea Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 So last Sunday, I blocked my ex from facebook and AIM because I kept trying to check his page and was torn up every time I did it. I sent him a courtesy e-mail to let him know why I was doing it and that it was not an act of anger. I also mentioned in the e-mail that I'd rather he not reply to it. If he wanted to toss me the friends card again, I really didn't want to hear any more about it. So yea... I was feeling very strong this week. Not being able to check up on him has been somewhat of a relief. He hasn't contacted me at all, and I was ok with that. It's been almost a month since the breakup.. And my roommates have been very good at getting me out of the apartment on the weekends since that time. But this weekend they all had their own things to go to, which is fine... They have their own lives to live. I feel so depressed though. Today I cried like I did when the breakup first happened. I want this pain to go away! And I keep feeling guilty. I know that I'm allowed to go out and have a good time, but I feel guilty about it afterwards. I haven't done anything to feel guilty about. I don't get drunk off my a$$ and make a fool of myself. But yet it FEELS like I did do something bad when I get back home. And on top of that, a few guys that I've recently met, have asked me if I'm single. I answered yes, but made sure to let them know that I'm not interested in dating right now. I end up feeling guilty about this too. I know that they're asking a totally legitimate question, but it makes me feel as if I'm doing something wrong. On the other hand, it is kind of a boost to know that there are guys out there who are interested in me, but... I don't know if I'll ever be able to move on and be comfortable with other guys. Hey... I just realized something as i've been typing this. I know I just mentioned that I just cried like I did in the beginning... but now that I think about it, its a little different. I used to cry and really really want to call or text him. Today was more like i've lost him and don't know what to do with myself. It's as if someone died and even though I miss them, there's no going back. I don't know... I guess this is some level of acceptance... but also defeat. It hurts so bad! At least I had hope in the beginning. Now I only feel sadness. How do you guys get through this? Many of the threads here are from people who say they've been so heartbroken for months and months. I just can't fathom how I'd be able to keep riding this rollercoaster for that long.
mickleb Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 On the right track. You're doing well, apart from the guilt thing. You have NOTHING to feel guilty about, you are just adjusting to a different way of living. As you have recognised, your feelings are already changing. That's great. They will continue to do so and it DOES get easier as it goes on. Remember that there is no formula for how long it takes to heal heartbreak. It completely depends on the type and length of the relationship, the circumstances of the break-up and how strong you are, as an individual. Remember, also, that many people here didn't know about LS before they needed it. Some people have made many of the classic 'mistakes', not knowing what else to do. Also, some people find it really hard to understand the advice being given and need to find out for themselves, what the best method of healing is for them. You are doing really well. Think about that, nothing more. x
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