DenverBachelor Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 My ex and I live in the same apartment building. We used to have our own place here but I moved five floors down after breaking up on Oct 11. Well today I was getting off the elevator and saw her and her rebound to my left. She was talking and laughing. I thought I was doing well, but I felt a large setback after seeing her. I didn't say anything to either of them and just stood tall and walked with confidence. I was actually looking really sharp. As I passed, their conversation went to dead silence as they got on the elevator. I've been in a state of mild anxiety for most of the evening. I went out and had a few drinks, but I feel like I've lost some of my control. I actually felt the greatest urge yet to text her or contact her to see how she was doing, but I did not. I've been restless ever since, so I stopped and told myself to calm down and I tried to figure out the root of my anxiety. I guess seeing her after not seeing her for a few weeks made my mind realize, "yeah, she's still very much alive and very much in her new relationship," so I think my mind went crazy subconsciously trying to find some way to "fix the situation." Yet the situation cannot be fixed. She's with a new person and she broke up with me and I need to accept that and move on. So I told myself, "you need to let go of this now because there is nothing to fix." It did help the anxiety. Has anyone else ran into their ex with their new fling / rebound /etc. and felt a punch in the gut from it? I felt like I was thrown back to NC day 3, but I know after I get some sleep and wake up and hit the gym tomorrow, I'll be back on an even keel. Tough time man ...
EarthGirl Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Has anyone else ran into their ex with their new fling / rebound /etc. and felt a punch in the gut from it? I felt like I was thrown back to NC day 3, but I know after I get some sleep and wake up and hit the gym tomorrow, I'll be back on an even keel. Tough time man ... yeah..well not exaclty run into but it seems like everywhere I look my there are things that remind me of my ex or one of his many girls he used to like to parade in front of me to hurt me..perhaps he is really in love with one of them now and it's genuine and they are hapy ..I don't wish anything bad for anyone. But yeah it's crazy that I can just somehow happen upon one of those girls's myspaces when I was actually searching for someone totally different with a diff name but something on their page makes them show up in my search...or even in "real life" someone I know turns out to know my ex through a mutual business contact/friend, or is distant cousins with his current "girl"...whatever. And these groups of people don't even live in the same city or anything, it's crazy. we live in such a different world in this day and age with internet, tv, that even though the overall population of the earth is huger than ever, more than you can wrap your head around..between the technology and certain ways of social flow and groups within "real life"...sometimes it seems like you can just never get away from someone , or thoughts of them, no matter how hard you try....it's kind of like living in Salem on Days of our Lives...everyone is related to everyone else in some way or other. lol. Or just the old thing where your "song" that the two of yo danced two on your 2 date that was so magical or whatever that just happens to have a comeback on your fave station five years later and you just keep turning on the station hoping to hear something else that's good that will put your mind at ease ...it's exhausting. Especially when you really really miss someone. One thing I've finally accepted is those reminders just will never go away. Even if you buy a private island or go live in a Quaker commune with no tv or radio or internet whatsoever ...there will ALWAYS be those little things that make you remember, they will FIND you somehow someway...Just something you have to accept...it gets easier if you do, but it will never get easY.
nobmagnet Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I havent bumped into my ex with his new woman yet but my mother in law told me he has goneto austrailia on business and is having a holday at the same time with her. It felt like the world dropped out of my arse i can tell you. She said he deserved some happiness.........................I thought she liked me. He only got found out 9 weeks ago and this must have been planned whilst we were still together. It is agony but I suppose at the same time like yourself I am convincing myself that it is completely over and he has moved on. I cant fix it. Every day since she told me I have built on moving on and it has helped really. I dont think he does deserve to be happy!!!!!!!!!! but the spell I cast for his Knob to drop off and catch a nasty doesnt appear to be working! hahaha well done for being strong x
9Lives Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Yesterday, I ran into my ex and his new thing...but i had my new thing with me too. I was all dressed up so it was cool. I acted normal but came home and felt sick to my stomache. it was rough today
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