daddypop1 Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Hi everyone, I filed for divorce on Friday and was wondering what to expect now. My wife should be served within the next couple of days. I couldnt figure out which house was her boyfriends exactly, so I put down the address of the strip club she works at. I thought it was kinda funny that they will serve her there. She has no idea this is coming. Anyway, I filed for a temporary hearing, and it is set for Dec. 11 - I was just wondering from people that have been thru this what will happen. I have had the kids with me for a month now, including her 13 yr old daughter, who wants to live with me. My wife took the car when she left and left me to fend for myself with no money, no job, nothing. She even took all the change from the change jar. She did eventually pay the rent for this month and gave me half of the child support she received for her daughter, even tho I had to ask her many times for it. She has taken the kids only 2 days since the middle of October, and those are the only days she has seen them. She does talk to her daughter every other day or so, but I have pretty much lost all respect for her as a wife and a mother. I cant believe she doesnt try to see her kids but every couple of weeks but she is in fantasyland or having a midlife crisis or whatever. It is pretty funny the crap she is telling our daughter that she wants to do with her life, open a martini bar, get her motorcycle license, etc. God forbid she gets her own place and takes some responsibility and wants her kids with her. Her priorities are ****ed, I feel like I never knew this woman. Sorry, I was looking for some info and advice about a temporary hearing, and started rambling on. I feel like I will have alot of control for once and it feels good. She is an idiot and is about to have a big dose of reality smack her in the face, but I could be wrong. You all are great people and I am thankful for the support and advice I have gotten. Its cool how people you dont even know can help you see the light. None of us deserve how we have been treated. Thanks for listening!
Gunny376 Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I presume that you already have an attorney in which case you will speak through them (him/her) and they will speak with and two the judge for you, (after all that what you paying them to be ~ be an advocate for you) You would do it by leaning over and whispering in their ear just like you see on Court TV. More than likely the judge will award temporary custody and child support and even maintenance if you've asked for it. Depending upon which state you live in, it varies a little by little ~ but basically it's all the same. They take the wives income, and then your income and then come up with a total. Then they use the total to come up with a percentage. Usually turns out somewhere around a sixty / forty split in most cases. with the sixty usually for the man and the forty for the woman. Temporary visitation probably be established as well. A temporary court order will be issued until the final court date has been held. If she took the only car you can ask (through your attorney) to have it returned as you need it to provide transportation for yourself and the children.
Author daddypop1 Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 Actually, I dont have an attorney, cant afford one. I did the paperwork myself. Im not sure how they are going to figure out her income. She is a stripper and doesnt get any checks. I dont even think she claims anything at all. I just got a temp job at a factory, but it is only for 2 weeks. Hopefully they can find me something else after that is done. Not really sure how it will look going into the hearing if I dont have a job, but I am going to be starting my first semester of school in January.
Gunny376 Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 (edited) Well that being that case? You need to call the Sheriff's office and (better yet go to the Sheriff's office and tell them to hold off on serving her. (The papers can sit around in a file cabinet for awhile it won't hurt anything.) The first thing you need to do is find some ~ any long term employment. I don't care if its working full time at a Seven-Eleven. Something. (BTW if she took the car? How are you getting back and forth to work ~ I'm assuming public transportation?) Mind you? Most jobs are not acquired through the employment office, nor through the newspaper ~ but through people you know. Now would be a good time to extend your social network. For you that would mean joining and going to a church for the most part. The job I have now I got through someone I meet and knew. They won't hire women and they will not hire minorities. (Because of the work environment ~ I work in a secluded place and alone ~ and they worry about exposing some woman to being rape ~ as they employ former convicts, and most of the minorities that can do the job have not only left the area ~ they've left the state for better opportunities in Atlanta or Orlando and such. The ones that are left (minorities) that have the education are employed in high level/high paying positions. The single greatest employer are companies that are family owned and that employ 100 or less, (actually more around twenty or less). They hire friends and family first. Then they hire people outside of friends and family. Where I work, the "Big Boss" has his niece, nephew, first cousin, son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter, grandson's girlfriend, niece's husband, and first cousin working there. (And yes they have the "cush" jobs! First shift, Monday - Friday, Weekend and Holidays off! Get to work late, take off early) I realize your hurt, dazed and confussed from all of this? But you need to pull back AND re-group! But now is not the time to file! Do not And I cannot emphasise this enough go into divorce court without a lawyer. The ramifications of doing so can and will affect you and your children for years upon years to come! Literally the choices and decisions that you make here and now? Will have severe ramifications twenty years from now! Take a Fool's advice! Edited November 22, 2009 by Gunny376
Author daddypop1 Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 Thanks for the advice. I am pretty sure that I will have full time work before the temporary hearing. I have had to rely on my mom to use her car and to watch my youngest while my other 2 kids are in school. I was told that I really didnt need a lawyer because we dont own a house, have any assets, or bank accounts. The house my kids and I live in is owned by my mom. I am pretty sure my wife is not going to get a lawyer herself. I live in Wisconsin and am not sure how the laws are different, but was told that the court commissioner will decide custody and child support. Im not sure tho because nobody I know has actually gone thru this. My wife has told our oldest daughter that she is probably going to get her own place in the next town over(thats where her boyfriend lives) and that I could just keep her. That was before and she has no idea Im filing for divorce. In a way Im doing this because I know this marriage is over at this point, but Im trying to force her to make some decisions one way or another. She is not going to just work and stack her money, living with the boyfriend, and be a part-time disneyland mom seeing the kids twice a month. She has it everyway she wants it right now and it is not ok. It is a privilege to be a parent and these kids deserve better. So if she doesnt want to have custody or see them unless it is convenient for her, fine, but she is not going to be doing everything on her terms anymore.
mark982 Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 that's a pretty nasty woman who tells their daughter"he can just keep you" i hope that didn't crush your step-daughter too hard.
Author daddypop1 Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 I dont think it was meant to be as nasty as it sounds. I think she said it because she doesnt want to make our daughter switch schools. Everything could change with the divorce coming. Regardless, my wife is selfish and is an idiot.
someotherguy Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I'd love to help, but my ex and I filed our own paperwork and settled all assets, custody, alimony, and everything ourselves amicably. (I have custody and pay her to sit on her ass, but at least she's out of mine and the kids' home) Anyway, if you're feeling like a total jerk and want to have some fun, you could have her charged with adultery, it's a felony in Wisconsin.
Author daddypop1 Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 Adultery is a felony in Wisconsin? I didnt know that, someone told me this was a no fault state and that it wouldnt matter. I would love to nail her with that - she needs to know there are consequences for what she does. Its too bad tho that I dont have proof except for knowing that she is with him and living there as well. I do have proof from her doing it several times before tho, my brother being one of them. I also have quite a few character witnesses. Why do you have to pay your wife when you have the kids?
someotherguy Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Yep, fun little fact about wisconsin! http://www.vanwagnerwood.com/CM/Custom/Adultery.asp I considered using this on my ex when I was feeling particularly pissed, but never ended up pulling the trigger. I wish I had. Anyway, I pay because our incomes are so disparate. I have a great job, whereas she slacked off and never bothered to finish school, even though I paid for her to attend several colleges over the years. So, she gets five years of alimony, unless she moves in with someone or marries them. *crosses fingers* Just fyi, but in Wisconsin, the court seems to go with whatever a couple agrees to together, as long as it isn't crazy. If it's contested, which yours sounds like, the court decides everything based on formulas.
Author daddypop1 Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 Looks like it might be hard to prove what my wife is doing so probably wont work out. I wish I could afford a lawyer for the adultery as well as the divorce. I really feel like she is going to have alot against her anyway, but we will see what happens.
someotherguy Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Private investigators are worth their weight in gold. Just sayin', because there's a reason mine was uncontested. *wink, wink*
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